Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 11 replies, 12 voices, and was last updated 16 years, 10 months ago by
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Why is an older man/younger woman relationship more acceptable than an older woman/younger man one, especially if it is true that men reach their sexual prime in their late teens-20s, while women reach theirs in their late 30s-40s?
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Name : Chad, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 21, City : Montpelier, State : VT, Country : United States, Occupation : Mechanic, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Lower middle class,Women has and will always choose men who have more resources than themselves. Older men has had more time to do so than younger men. When the human race was in its infancy, the story was much different. Mates, where usually the same exact age.
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Name : Christopher-Davis32107, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 23, City : Arlington, State : TX, Country : United States, Social class : Lower middle class,First off, let me say that I think that double standard is a crock & that there is no reason for women to reject a man because he is younger. Emotional maturity, not years, is what counts. I think the reason that older men/younger women pairings are more conventionally acceptable boils down to two issues: first and most important, power. Traditionally, the man was supposed to ‘marry down’ in age, social status, and height because he was the boss. It wouldn’t do for a woman to be older, richer or taller because she was the subordinate partner – younger, smaller, and poorer. This kept the balance of power where patriarchy wanted it. Nowadays, with more equal partnerships as the new norm, these traditions hold less weight – though they are still quite entrenched. Secondly, if a man wants to have children, and marries an older woman, she may be unable to produce them. If a man wants kids, or grows to want them, and he won’t consider adoption, this can be a problem. However, it is not a problem if the man either a) doesn’t want kids or b)is willing to adopt them.
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Name : Crystal, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Pagan, Age : 30's, City : Oakland, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : Office Manager, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH I DO NOT KNOW. MY EX BOYFRIEND DATES A WOMAN WHO IS 5 YEARS OLDER THEN HIM AND TO ME IT SEEMS LIKE SHE IS DESPERATE, BUT I MET A GUY WHO IS 7 YEARS OLDER THAN ME AND I DO NOT THINK THAT IT IS A PROBLEM. IT IS JUST A SOCIETY BASED PREJUDICE THAT GOES BACK TO THE DAYS OF 15 YEAR OLD GIRLS BEING SET UP WITH MEN WHO ARE YEARS OLDER THAN THEM BECAUSE THEY ARE ALREADY STABLE FINANCIALLY. AS A WOMAN I DO NOT WANT TO DATE A YOUNGER MAN BECAUSE IT ALMOST MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO GET SOMEONE MY OWN AGE, EVEN IF THEY ARE THE GREATEST PERSON IN THE WORLD. IT IS REALLY A MATTER OF CONFIDENCE IN A PERSON TO BEABLE TO ACCEPT THIER HAPPINESS AND GET PAST THE PREJUDICES.
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Name : ELISE25304, Gender : F, Age : 19, City : CARLSBAD, State : CA, Country : United States,In our culture, we don’t value older women as being attractive. Women are under incredible pressure to look young – almost as much as the pressure to be thin. While older men also aren’t particularly valued, it’s not as bad (especially if they have money). Look at all the movies with older men/younger women romances that have come out in the last few years. The one film with an older woman/younger man romance I can think of, How Stella Got Her Groove Back, was such a novelty that the age issue was actually the main theme of the movie. Not so in movies with older men and younger women. Read the personal ads, and you’ll see lots of ads like, “Man, 40, looking for woman, 25-35.” If that old. It’s depressing.
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Name : Rhiannon, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Jewish, Age : 29, City : Eden Prairie, State : MN, Country : United States, Occupation : Professor, Social class : Middle class,There has been a long-established stereotype that men marry for looks and ability to have children and women marry for financial security and stability. Thus, men marry younger women because they have their child-bearing years fully ahead. Women marry older men because they are more stable and well-off. The idea is pervasive enough that when people see a younger man with an older woman, they think “What does she/he see in him/her?” The age difference has to be much greater in a young woman/older man pair to provoke the same thought. Personally, if women knew more about male mid-life crises, I think we would see more 50+ male/20+ female pairs.
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Name : J-Fairday30665, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 40+, City : N/A, State : MO, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College,Traditionally, in heterosexual relationships, the man is supposed to be the dominant partner in the relationship. If he was older/richer/taller, this reinforced the power balance. If the woman was older or had more money, how then could she look up to him? This is changing nowadays as women have more financial and social freedom. According to census figures, one-fourth of women now marry younger men, and among women over 30 marrying for the first time, it is more like one-third to almost one-half. Things are changing.
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Name : Crystal, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Pagan, Age : 30's, City : Oakland, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : Office manager, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I think why it’s more acceptible in society is because as young females find the one they chose to be with,they look to find a male with the same maturity level. Had I chosen a male from my age group as a future partner then I would find many immature nonunderstanding guys that wouldn’t understand me as well as an older male.I fell in love with a caring 22 year old that matters the world to me and I’m not ashamed to say that. Age don’t count when you’re in love.
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Name : mandi duffy, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 17, City : Biloxi, State : MS, Country : United States, Occupation : student(highschool), Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Lower middle class,Women have and will always choose men who have more resources than themselves. Older men have had more time to gain more resources than younger men. When the human race was in its infancy, the story was much different. Mates were usually the same age.
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Name : Christopher-D32106, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 23, City : Arlington, State : TX, Country : United States, Social class : Lower middle class,I think it is more acceptable now than it was in the past. And I don’t believe that women always choose ‘men with more resources.’ In fact, that is insulting. Many women, these days, are strong, independent, self reliant and do not believe they need a man to provide for them. I know several couples in which the woman is older and in a couple of cases there is a significant age difference. In about half of those couples the woman is the primary provider. In fact, these older woman/younger man couples have all been together longer than most of the other couples I’ve known (many of these couples have broken up or divorced.) BTW, my own 18 year marriage is more traditional. My husband is only a year older than I am. He is the sole provider and I am quite happy to be able to stay home with our kids. So I can’t say I’m biased.
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Name : Marie, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 36, City : Jeffersonville, State : IN, Country : United States, Social class : Upper middle class,YOu obviously have limited experience or are hanging out with the wrong women. Some of us value personality – kindness, honesty, affection, sense of humor + a bit of physical attraction It’s true that women tend to prefer a modicum of security. Before effective birth control, women were stuck with a lot of kids and needed a man with money to support the family. NOt so true any more Why do men who flaunt their money with fancy cars, expensive gifts and restaurants complain that women are all “gold diggers”. If that’s all you have to offer, guys, that’s what you’ll get. If you offer affection and kindness and good listening skills, you’ll attract other kinds of women. Just Curious
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Name : ShirleyAvery, Gender : F, Disability : none, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Jewish, Age : 52, City : st. louis, State : MO, Country : United States, Occupation : writer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I guess I’m one of the rare ones who earned enough of my own to marry for love, to a YOUNGER guy. Only loser girls have to resort to being gold diggers. Women with brains and morals want their own careers. The real problem might be that wealthy men prefer silly young girls instead of female equals who might have the nerve to challenge them once in a while.
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Name : Dot, Gender : Female, Age : none, City : L.A., State : CA, Country : United States, Social class : Middle class,
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