Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 10 replies, 11 voices, and was last updated 18 years, 6 months ago by
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I have this thing for white men and I don’t want my own race. Why is this?
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Name : Carolyn B., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 36, City : Houma, State : LA, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Allure of the unknown could be a big part of your ‘thing’ for white men. Subconscioulsly wanting to fit in with other black professional women you know, who have white ‘trophy boyfriends,’ might also be playing a part. You may have an internal attractiveness template into which more white men than black men fit. How did the black men in your life when you were growing up react to your ambitions and desire for a higher education? Are there a large number of mixed-race couples in your social circle? What I’m getting at here is there could be a lot of different reasons you prefer white men to men of your own race. Since it clearly bothers you, you need to sit down, possibly with a professional, and really examine why you feel as you do.
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Name : Ann L. Lowenstein, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Animist, Age : 37, City : K.C., State : MO, Country : United States, Occupation : Administrative Assistant, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Me too! We are probably experienceing what black men experience when they like white or light-skinned girls more than black females. It’s the image. a friend actually said to me ‘ You are attracted to strange white men’ – because I like rockers and such. It’s probably the commercialization and media image given to these men: cute, desirable, stable. There’s a lot of negativity given to black male images: Gangsta, thug, unstable, to name a few. But no one is perfect as I’ve realized. It’s mostly images.
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Name : Christine19752, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 19, City : Hartford, State : CT, Country : United States, Occupation : college student, Social class : Lower middle class,Join the club. The No. 1 interracial marriage group is between white men and Asian women. You are no different. Whites are the social, economic and cultural dominant force in the United States and if you’ve achieved any form of social mobility -especially as a black woman – you’re likely to have more in common with white men. I am Polynesian and my husband is white. There is nothing wrong with liking who you like. There are many black men who do not like black women, so you are doing nothing wrong. You attract to you what you are internally and there is something internal about you that is more compatible with white men. You’re 10 times more likely to find a large number of white partners than black partners the higher up you go on the social ladder, anyhow. Go for it, girl!
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Name : Jocelyn J., City : Cordova, State : TN, Country : United States,Join the club… I am African (Nigeria to be exact) and for some reason i cannot date African or African American girls. It’s some type of incompatibility issue. I have had two girlfriends in my life, one Chinese and the other white. I think that’s the trend that I am going to continue in. One of the reasons why I didn’t go for a black girl is that in the area I am living in now, they dont have their head screwed on tight – they play around too much, never focus on school. Their demeanor and conduct, though, are the main factors for my preference.
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Name : David, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Nigerian, Religion : Non-Denominational, Age : 21, City : Fontana, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Upper class,I don’t know about you, but I opened myself up to dating white men when I realized that black men had turned their backs on us by dating anything other than a black woman. You have to be careful with white men, though, because some of them don’t really want a true relationship with you, they just want the taboo experience of ‘being with a black chick’.
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Name : Johanna28737, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 45, City : Stroudsburg, State : PA, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Girl you and i are just alike cause I’m a black female and I’m not attracted to my own race either (black men). I’ve never been, to be honest with you, I really like white and Hispanic guys a lot, but you can’t help what you are attracted to.
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Name : Candy, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 18, City : Atlanta, State : GA, Country : United States,Well, I’ve always been educated that people who tend to reject images of themselves are experiencing self-hatred. They haven’t accepted who they are. If they knew the history of their people (African-Americans) they would be more willing to accept someone who looks like them. It also could be the ‘forbidden fruit’ syndrome. The idea of wanting someone or something that you have been socialized to reject. It’s the idea of having something you can’t that turns you on. Don’t get me started on black men and white women, because there are alot of dynamics to that situation. Just some points to ponder.
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Name : D. Rich, Gender : M, Race : Black/African American, Age : 28, City : Memphis, State : TN, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,From what I have read from ya’lls responses it seems that there is too much focus on race! To David, you can find a black girl that is motivated, hard working, etc. I, as well as all of my black female friends, are in college with exceptional grades, maintaining a job, and working to better ourselves. It seems that you are feeding into the whole idea that black people are lazy and prone to drama, while white, Asian, etc., are smart, hardworking, and civilized. If it is physical black attributes that you don’t like then find what you do think is beautiful. I’m not prone to liking blond hair and very pale skin. I’m not racist but it’s just not very appealing to me. You should stop using stereotypes to live your life and lead your relationships. The same thing to Carolyn, Christine, and Jocelyn.
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Name : Deirdre, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : black and white, Religion : Baptist, Age : 19, City : Greeneville, State : TN, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I dont date my own race either. The only reason I can come up with is i grew up around white people. I went to a mostly white grammer school high school and college. I always had white men ask me out. If i had a nickel for everytime a white man told me this line ‘ i’ve never been with a black girl before’ id be rich. Black men always diss me for dating whites which makes me stray away from them even more. But if 2 people love each other enough why should color even matter? xoxo
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Name : Rainn Bryant, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : Black/Puerto Rican, Religion : Wiccan, Age : 23, City : Waynesboro, State : VA, Country : United States, Occupation : Artist, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,At 45 I would think your maturity level has far exceeded mine. Anyway you decided to date non -black men simply because they have turned to other races..No! You should not force yourself to be attracted to non-black men out of spite and anger. All black men do not date non-black women.There are several black men who cannot breathe if they don’t have a strong, black, beautiful woman on their side.Please don’t put all of your eggs in one basket..Black men need black women who are strong..
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Name : Essence-Price28676, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 18, City : Washington, State : DC, Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,
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