[Deb M.]

I think enjoyment of sex is something that comes to different people at different times in their lives, but I disagree with the poster who said that ‘most women don’t enjoy sex.’ Don’t get that in your head. Enjoyment of sex comes and goes – I am a 26-year-old, fairly liberal straight female in a strong, loving relationship of almost two years. As much as I love my boyfriend, and as much as I have come to enjoy sex, there are times when it doesn’t feel good to me. You have to be honest about that and not feel bad about yourself. Sometimes it feels good, sometimes it doesn’t, no biggie. If you can be honest with yourself and any partner you may have, then that’s better.

I always thought I was weird, because I started doing what you describe as ‘rubbing’ when I was 11, after looking at a sex book that talked about masturbation. I tried it a couple of times over my clothes, but nothing ‘happened’ at first. I kept trying as I grew up, and slowly moved to different stages – touching myself in different ways, over my clothes, then under, then with a vibrator. I’m not sure when I had my first orgasm. It surely was not during sexual intercourse, but rather by myself. I didn’t even have sex until I was 20, and it was with someone I had loved for a couple of years. I have always credited my experimentation with what I consider to be a healthy and enjoyable sex life now. It helped me to be familiar with my own body, comfortable with it, and to know what felt good. When you trust another person, and love another person, AND you have that comfort and familiarity with yourself, it makes it easier to discuss it together in the context of the bedroom.

You are still young, and you have a lot of time to learn your body – don’t tell yourself you are weird. I think that for women, pleasure in sex is learned/acquired (by oneself at first), not automatic; because we live in a world where sex is taboo, young women don’t get an opportunity to learn about it, or they feel ‘bad’ for doing so. I don’t think a sex partner can necessarily teach you about what feels good for your particular body – that is something to learn on your own, and later invite someone in.

User Detail :  

Name : Deb M., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 26, City : Chicago, State : IL, Country : United States, Occupation : Law Student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper class,