[Lindsay H.]

Born rich, been poor ... it's been a real education on both sides. What do I like better? Why, having enough to pay my bills and get my kids through school. But one of the things that has been the best lesson: I no longer need the fancy house, the extraordinary car or the top of the line clothes, but I do need the security that money can buy. Like if my husband dies, I own my own home, or if I get too old and creaky and crazy, I'm not thrown away in some substandard nursing home where they mistreat you. I was raised in a VERY wealthy family, and trust me, it's not always what it's cracked up to be. You lose sight of what it is to be a normal person when you are raised with more money than you know what to do with. Money can be a curse if you don't manage it wisely. You don't need to keep up with the Joneses. This is a real fallacy of the so-called American dream. Decide what is real and what is not. And most of all, what is really important.

User Detail :  

Name : Lindsay H., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Disability : Deaf, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 49, City : San Antonio, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : self-employed, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Lindsay H.]

To MargaertZ.: You have some real valid points her, but - and I do not mean to offend - what planet are you on? If your child is in public school, he or she is going to be exposed by their peers every inch of the day to sexuality ... dating ... who's hot and who's not, etc. Don't get me wrong, boundaries should be enforced, but you need to be realistic about this child's peers. If you try to get too hardcore, you're going to find nothing more than outright rebellion on your hands, like swinging from the chandeliers. Sit down and find a compromise, something you can live with and they can, too. Remember, you don't own them. They are only on loan, and it's such such a short time. Make this the best time time between you. Also, a side note: even when they act like they can't stand you, they really do love you and your husband! Been there, done this a few years ago... Just love 'em.

User Detail :  

Name : Lindsay H., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Disability : Deaf, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 49, City : San Antonio, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : self-employed, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Lindsay H.]

I'm a mom for more years than I'd like to think about. To me, kids want to be a part of their own society. My daughter (who is really quite attractive) dressed like she came out of a garbage can for a few years. She didn't do drugs, she didn't do booze and she made great grades. Count yourself lucky if your kids bypass the drugs and liquor or random sex. Your kid colors their hair strange? SO WHAT! One thing I do have to comment on, though: You do have to keep an eye on who they associate with. This is part of being a responsible parent.

User Detail :  

Name : Lindsay H., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Disability : Deaf, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 49, City : San Antonio, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : self-employed, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Lindsay H.]

Chris, first, I commend you on your straightforward thinking. As a parent (I have a 20-year-old and 24-year-old), after a person gets to a certain age, all you can hope for is that the foundation that you have laid will lead to a healthy, productive person. To address one of the things you have said about fear of being a 'bad parent': I can't speak for anyone else, but this was always a great fear for me. Would I be good enough? Would my children get what emotional loving they needed? Maybe, maybe not. I do know this: I believe even with all the mistakes I made - and I made more than a few - they are wonderful people who I am proud to know.

But what if you do not have a healthy enviroment as a child? Hopefully, you find a mentor who can guide you, or you pull your bootstraps up and decide to see who you truly are - not how others have defined you. This takes a lot of courage. Does Marilyn Manson influence you? Not unless you so choose. Can you enjoy this type of music? Of course you can. Does it make you weird or strange? No. Hey (try not to bust a gut here) when the Beatles came to the United States, we kids were all thought of as utterly decadent (this was in the early '60s), a lost cause... We were all going to hell.

Each and every generation has been condemned because they have done something different. When you become a parent, you may find yourself appalled at what your kids hear. But if they have a loving home and are made to feel that they have a voice, your kids are not going to go bonkers.

User Detail :  

Name : Lindsay H., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Disability : Deaf, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 49, City : San Antonio, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : self-employed, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Lindsay H.]

My daughter has more than a few piercings on her body. Frankly, I think this is just a way of trying to be 'different.' They don't want to be like everyone else, yet they still follow the crowd. I don't really like it, but then I hope I haven't gotten so old that I can't understand why they press for individuality.

As far as sexual orientation, for a long time, people thought if you had an ear done(can't remember which), you were gay. Now I think it's more like wearing a type of clothing. Do you think you look cool? In the last few years this has been generally accepted. Just like you see more and more tattoos. Not only on older people but on teenagers. Like everything else that comes along, it too will fade.

Now as far as tongue piercing, that is so stupid. Want to chip or break your teeth? Also, it is and can be dangerous to your health. Want to talk with a lisp?

Let's tackle another subject: piercing the genitalia. Who am I to say what turns a person on - though I do not see how it adds to the pleasure of sexual relations. Or is it just done to be a shock factor? Then again, I'm a virgin in this area (piercing, that is). I don't think it's that big of a deal, as long as you don't look like a billboard, and it does not interfere with you health.

I will say this: if I have a prospective employee who comes to me looking for work, like it or not, I do judge on how many piercings they have, and the amount of tattoos. Fair or not...

User Detail :  

Name : Lindsay H., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Disability : Deaf, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 49, City : San Antonio, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : self-employed, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Lindsay H.]

Yikes! Why do some guys find this so erotic? Maybe it's going back to childhood. Then again, the smoothness. I know that some women are like gorillas in their private parts. Ever try on a two-piece bathing suit and look like you could reforest a barren plain? If your lover finds it erotic and you are not offended, what the heck? Although this can be itchy if you don't use a hair remover, shaving can be a bear, so to speak. Frankly, your own body hair is pretty darn fine. But if your partner is really serious about you getting rid of this hair and it's OK with you, have a fine dinner with some good wine, make sure you smell like the end of the world (something yummy that brings out the animal in you) and allow HIM to shave you. But remember: this is your body, and if you want to do it, that's cool. But any uneasiness on your part should be respected. Whatever happens, please remember your body is your own, and let no one disrespect it.

User Detail :  

Name : Lindsay H., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Disability : Deaf, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 49, City : San Antonio, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : self-employed, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Lindsay H.]

My family lived in that area close to 10 years, and the thinking that went on was very close-minded. In other words, if your kid did not "fit in," he or she was left out. This means social gatherings and friendships.

My daughter, who is hearing-impaired and was somewhat non-conformist in her dress, went to Chatfield High, which is only four or five miles from Columbine High. Most of the kids there acted like she was from outer space.

In addition, these kids had no parental supervision (or very little) and way, way too much money in their hands. Many "friendships" were built on how big a house you had or how much your mom or dad made.

I'm sorry, but I really feel these parents came home and never tried to know who their children were or are. How often did they sit down and talk ... not lecture, correct or put the morality and bias of their parents' feelings into them? Not often, I think. And how often did they ask their kids how they really felt without the fear of repercussions?

My son thought also Hitler was a great guy and that he had it all right (this was in 1993 or 1994), and I asked him just how much history had he read. He replied that he had really only read Mien Kampf. My son is also profoundly deaf ... I told him that not only would he have been eliminated by Hitler, but that his other deaf friends, his mother and father and sister would have been, too. Then I took him to the library and checked some books out on the Holocaust. Woke him up big time ... Thank you , Lord!

We as parents have an obligation to know or at least try and keep tabs on our children and not turn a blind eye to their doings - even if it doesn't fit into our schedule. Our kids deserve the very best from us. If we don't give it to them, who will?

User Detail :  

Name : Lindsay H., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Disability : Deaf, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 49, City : San Antonio, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : self-employed, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

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