[Amy31611]

I'm not one of those women. My best friend still loves telling people how he met me: I walked into the coffee shop, sat down, introduced myself and then said 'and you're damn sexy.' My husband, same thing. Boyfriends, I have always made the first move and asked them out. On the other hand, I've been led on a lot - mostly by guys who say they 'don't know what they want'. I know. They want a cheerleader, perfect body, not much brains, barefoot and pregnant, you name it. If you aren't exactly what the media says they should want, or you're too tough, too bad.

I would question what kinds of women you've been hanging out with. One of my boyfriends (who, out of all of them, I treated perfectly because I was trying to) ended up leaving me to continue chasing another girl, who had no interest in him and already had a boyfriend. Later he told me he didn't realize he was sabotaging himself. I could have told him. He's still somewhat an acquaintance of mine.

I would ask you this question: if a girl is tough (I'm in kung fu and I weightlift), if she's not perfectly skinny, etc. why do guys ignore her or treat her like 'one of the guys'? That said, I've heard that there are women who are very silly. They tend to be the above-mentioned 'perfect girls'. In high school, I never understood why my fellow 'geek' types would go for cheerleaders, when I knew they'd never be happy just because of the girl's great bod. After all, would she ever talk to them about the X-Men?

Also, the men I have been forward with are often terrified of a woman doing such a thing. So I suppose my answer is: you're looking in the wrong places. Is your best friend a girl? Try her.

User Detail :  

Name : Amy31611, Gender : F, City : Duluth, State : MN Country : United States, 

[Judy27003]

I will say this with the knowledge that I will probably recieve lots of replies which is perfectly ok with me. You are at an age where the females you are probably dating are of your age or younger. These females hun just have no clue what they want so they are unable to come forth with this information. Now, there are a few exceptions to this. Some females in their 20's have a heads up on what they want in a male outside of his looks and occupation. However, the majority only know what they want their date to look like and/or do. Characteristics past this they have not yet matured into.

User Detail :  

Name : Judy27003, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 37, City : Mountain City, State : TN Country : United States, Occupation : Office Administration/Unemployed, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower class, 

[Joe]

Yes, this is yet another one of the questions on this category that could easily go both ways. You want to know the big secret on how to differentiate between people who are leading you on and people who are sincere? It's very simple and it doesn't require much effort to notice: Actions speak louder than words. Far too many times I've had to counsil a younger friend who was bummed out because a girl he 'has a crush on is going out of town and told him when she gets back they'll have to hook up...but he's heard her ragging on him behind his back.' Ugh, guys, really, she can straight up tell you shes going to screw your brains out when she gets back, but until she does so, I would simply shrug it off, or at most humor her. I've seen it plenty of times, girls leading on a guy who's kind of desperate, making him believe they are 2 steps from the bedroom, merely so they'll stick around, instead of being straight forward that they only want to be friends. And no, I'm not ragging on females, I've seen plenty of males do it too. On that note, I had a female friend the other day complaining to me that everytime a guy tells her 'he's a nice guy,' he turns out to be a jerk, I said it's no differen't from the girls that tell you that they don't want to live a soap opera of a life, usually turn out to be your drama queens. Guys, does your girlfriend tell you shes crazy about you? or does she show you? Girls, does your boyfriend tell you he cares about you? or does he show you? Anyone see a pattern yet?

User Detail :  

Name : Joe, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 23, City : Houston, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : I.T., Education level : Technical School, Social class : Middle class, 

[Meiran]

I'm not entirely sure to be honest, but I blame popular media. If you picked up enough issues of Cosmo or even things like Seventeen you would find that girls are just groomed to assume that boys are playing mind games (and they do) and that they have to be a certain way. When girls are insecure, as they almost always are at the impressionable age that they start really paying attention to these hints the media portrays, then they take them in. They might not mean to but subconsiouly they just fall right into the line. It sounds ridiculous, but it is very true that people think that if they're honest, the guy will leave. I was lucky that one day in high school it occurred to me that I was trying to change my boyfriend into what I wanted, and that it would be a disservice to a girl that might like him exactly how he is. Most girls don't get that realization for a long time.

User Detail :  

Name : Meiran, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 24, City : Roanoke, State : VA Country : United States, Occupation : Writer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Marie-J]

Whenever I'm not straightforward with a guy, it's because I am trying to sort out my own feelings towards him as well as how he feels about me. I'm shy so I don't want to make any critical mistakes in a relationship because I want to make sure I'll have another chance with the guy. So far I haven't figured out the balance between how much a guy wants me to care and how much he wants me to leave him alone, how much is too far? Also, guys are not as honest as they claim to be...most of the guys i've dated will only bother to call me when we have a physical relationship...after a breakup they say they want to be friends but never call. So I feel their attention is only because they are trying to flatter me into giving them something.

User Detail :  

Name : Marie-J, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Age : 22, City : Green Bay, State : WI Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, 

[clay25141]

My theory: you don't value the things that come easily, especially when that thing is a member of the opposite sex. Thus guys may not call for 3 days and girls play hard to get in effort not to appear over-eager and needy. And the ones who haven't wised-up yet, chase the men or women that show little or no interest in them, believing that the elusive prey is somehow better and that when one catches the elusive prey, it validates one's self-worth.

User Detail :  

Name : clay25141, City : denton, State : TX Country : United States, 

[Kathy]

It is also a question of maturity. A person will eventully reach the point in his or her life where they just don't have the patience it takes to waste time playing games. 'Be up-front with them and never tolerate any less from them' was the rule I adopted, and it's worked fabulously for me. Girls (and guys) who still feel the need to lead someone on just haven't grown up yet. Unfortunately, some people never do.

User Detail :  

Name : Kathy, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 29, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : Customer Service, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower class, 

[shandayates]

It has been my experience that to let on that you really are interested in a relationship with a guy is to chase him away. So I always act non-chalant with someone even though I may REALLY like him. Usually when I act as though I don't care about them, they keep on coming around. I know this doesn't apply to ALL guys, but I am just speaking from my experiences.

User Detail :  

Name : shandayates, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 25, City : corinth, State : MS Country : United States, Occupation : Nurse, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

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