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Jay.
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February 15, 2004 at 12:00 am #11096
KN26915MemberI have noticed, in my city at least, an increase in white male/black female romantic relationships. As a people-watcher, I have noted some curious reactions to this type of coupling. In one instance, when a couple passed I overheared a white man sitting nearby comment ‘they’re always taking ours; it’s about time we got some of theirs’ as he eyed the couple. I could only assume that by ‘we’ he was refering to white men and ‘theirs’ was a reference to black women. On a different occasion, I observed a couple passing by a group of young black men who glared at the couple as they walked by, refusing to respond to the woman when she politely said hello. Irronically, the black men were holding hands with white women at the time. In other instances, I have seen white women cease their conversations to stare at white man/black woman couples, in particular the black woman, as if in surprise. Particularly if the white man is attractive or seems to have a lot of money. I am curious as to the opinions that white men, white women and black men have at this type of coupling. Is it anger, fear, resentment, suspicion, awe, etc.? What are your thoughts about the increase in the number of white man/black woman relationships?
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Name : KN26915, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 26, City : Washington, State : DC, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,February 18, 2004 at 12:00 am #41731
MattMemberI’m a white man who has dated black women fairly often. I have not noticed anyone walking up to me and making any rude comments about such relationships, and usually strangers who strike up a conversation when I’m with a date of another race are polite. As for negative reactions, I have had one white male friend in his 50s comment in a discussion on dating (I was not involved in a relationship at that time) that he did not think interracial dating was as likely to work out in the long term. He had apparently tried dating non-white women himself and concluded their backgrounds were too different. I think the differences in background are probably larger for his generation than mine. This one seems to be more a pragmatic objection than a racist one. And there was one time I kissed a black woman in public and had a child yell, ‘Ewww, gross!’ But I figure a kid at that age would probably have similar objections to any public display of affection.
Do some people give less overt displays of disapproval? Probably there may be a few who gawk, but I haven’t noticed. I’m usually paying more attention to my date than others’ reactions. This is Atlanta, though, and interracial dating is common enough here that not many people are outright shocked to see a white man with a black woman.
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Name : Matt, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 25, City : Oxford, State : GA, Country : United States, Occupation : Engineer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,February 18, 2004 at 12:00 am #30683
Wayne24391MemberYes, I hate to see a black woman dating a white man. It’s centered on the history of blacks and whites, and the issues that are still continuing in this country. White men spent so much time openly raping black women. It upsets me that a black women would give herself willingly to one. Additionally, even after the raping stopped, white men would ‘date’ (translate: screw) a black woman but would not marry her. There were some exceptions, but generally it’s been a case of just wanting to ‘sample some dark meat.’ Sorry for being so crude. Interestingly, it doesn’t bother me as much if I know a white man is actually married to a black woman. Of course, you generally date before you marry, so how’s that supposed to happen if he doesn’t date her first? Hmmm.
And yes, I have dated white women and don’t have a problem with othe black men dating white women. Do I see an, um, contradiction in my attitudes? Is it hypocritical? Yep. Do I think it’s correct? Nope. But it’s still there.
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Name : Wayne24391, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Religion : Baptist, Age : 43, City : Parsippany, State : NJ, Country : United States, Occupation : marketing, Education level : Over 4 Years of College,February 19, 2004 at 12:00 am #17797
dersk25709MemberHey, if people dig each other, rock on. And I think it’s a bit foolish to reduce it so much – evidently, the woman with whom Strom Thurmond had a kid (oh, the delicious irony) didn’t have a problem with it. But then, I do try to mind my own business. Except for fora like this that are just asking for me to know it all. (: I’m white, never dated a black but really lusted after a black woman in my dorm one year in school. Not cause she was black, but because she was really cool. While there may be an element of the exotic in the attraction, it’s just silly to say that every white guy dating a black woman is just curious. Remember, all generalisations are wrong.
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Name : dersk25709, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 34, City : amsterdam, State : NA, Country : The Netherlands, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,February 24, 2004 at 12:00 am #18086
chris32134MemberWell white men have been raping our women for years. There are some sisters out there who are stupid enough to beleive that there are no good black men. Any black woman who would freely give herself to a white man is a damn fool white men are incapable of loving a black woman. How can you love a woman of a race you dont even see as human. All that white man wants is sex and or drugs those are two reasons white women and men date black people.
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Name : chris32134, City : waldorf, State : MD, Country : United States,February 25, 2004 at 12:00 am #33837
kimmiMemberI’ve datd white guys and i personally don’t see what’s so wrong with it. So what if they raped black women way back when. That was how may years ago?! Get over it. If a man respects you and loves you then it shouldn’t matter if they are black, white, asian, hispanic…
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Name : kimmi, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, City : ontario, State : CA, Country : United States,March 1, 2004 at 12:00 am #29356
John29262Memberahh, an honest hypocrite.
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Name : John29262, City : Albany, State : NY, Country : United States,March 15, 2004 at 12:00 am #28943
GloriaMemberYou seem to forget how many Black men were lynched after he had sex with a white woman, back in the day, and how white women told them she was raped to protect her image as a pure woman!! This still happens today in Georgia where a young black boy had consensual sex in school with a young white girl and her father found out and he was convicted of child molestation and is now serving 10 years in prison because she accused him of raping her to protect herself from her dad who is a known racist. This has happened many times in Georgia, so I know it happens in other parts of the country. Sure, we were raped and had sex with white men back in slavery, however its no difference than what our black men do to us today by having sex with women and impregnating them so they can put another ‘notch’ on their penises’to determine how many women/girls they can impregnate. This disrespect is not just a white man issue but a MAN issue.
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Name : Gloria, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 50ish, City : Atlanta, State : GA, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,March 25, 2004 at 12:00 am #39684
CandyMemberThere have been numerous occasions when I was out with a white or other non-black male, and both black men and white women would point, stare and whisper at us all the time. Many times these black men would be with non-black women. Sadly these people want to have their cake and eat it, too.
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Name : Candy, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 18, City : Atlanta, State : GA, Country : United States,March 18, 2005 at 12:00 am #23425
Nikki25532MemberIt think the reason black men get upset when they see black women with white men is that deep down, black men are still very jealous of white men and want everything a white man has. A black man is never satisfied until he has the white man’s money in his pocket and his woman in his bed. They feel inferior to white men. They have no problem dating white women (it makes them feel as if they have moved up and they can say ‘Hey white man! Look at me! I can get the prize just like you can!’) but their self-esteem shrinks as soon as they realize that a lot of black women are tired of dealing with them and their b.s. and are moving on to men of different races. A black woman is the only thing in this country a black man feels he has total control over, so they try to make us feel worthless and undesirable, and abuse us to make us stay with them. They really need to get over themselves.
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Name : Nikki25532, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Pentecostal, Age : 23, City : Interlochen, State : FL, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,March 22, 2005 at 12:00 am #45450
Lynn-H22494MemberOften when I’m out with my white fiance, we get stares (and sometimes grimaces) mainly from black men and white women. White men usually give us curious looks. We’ve even recieved a ‘thumbs-up’ or a nod of approval from white men. I remember when we were at a check-out line in the store and a white woman who was ahead of us turned around, took one look at us and gasped right in front of us. It seemed like she didn’t do it on purpose, but it’s not often when one sees a black woman with a white man, especially when the woman has an engagement ring. As for my feelings about black women/white men relationships, I sincerely hope the numbers rise dramatically!
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Name : Lynn-H22494, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, City : Louisville, State : KY, Country : United States,March 24, 2005 at 12:00 am #40977
Rhonda-P-Outlaw24254MemberI would sincerely hope that African American women NOT take the ‘route’ you’ve taken. I honestly do not understand how any Black woman could lay down with a white man, in light of the racism that still exists today. Personally, my strong Black pride, dignity and sense of self worth would not allow me to, if you’ll pardon the expression, ‘stoop so low’. No man can love, respect and understand me the way a Black man can. It’s just a matter of finding the RIGHT brotha. Until then, being alone is a better option than disgracing myself and my parents by bringing a white man into my life. Not to mention, I truly believe that white people STILL feel a strong sense of superiority over Blacks, and generally have no respect for us. Lastly, take a good, long look at that white man when he snuggles up to you…and remember Justin Volpe. I’m sure his girlfriend was quite shocked to learn that he participated in sodomizing Abner Louima. Then again, I can’t understand why she would be; I certainly wasn’t surprised in the least. I’m never surprised by the things white people do to Black people.
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Name : Rhonda-P-Outlaw24254, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Lutheran, Age : 43, City : Laurelton, State : NY, Country : United States, Occupation : Account Representative, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,July 10, 2005 at 12:00 am #46760
JayMemberDude, maybe you should move to Atlanta; black-and-white dating is everywhere in this city.
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Name : Jay, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 26, City : Atlanta, State : GA, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,July 10, 2005 at 12:00 am #40520
Christina NMemberIt’s funny because my fiance does not notice the occasional attention that we may get when we go out. (Though we have gotten the extreme where we had a group of black guys who wanted to start a fight with him just ’cause. Yes, I do know this is the reason for the fight.) I, however, do notice, and I have been asked why I am not marrying a black man. The response is because none of them asked. For most of the people I know and am around, it’s accepted without a second thought. – though at first it is a surprise to most. Then again I have a friend, a black female, who thinks we are great. She gets truly heated when she hears of or sees a mixed couple where he is black and she is white. It drives her nuts, and she cannot stand to see it. She says that for her it has to do with the way black men treat white women vs. the way black men treat black women.
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Name : Christina N, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Age : 21, City : Tallahassee, State : FL, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,July 10, 2005 at 12:00 am #38392
KR26938MemberWhen I lived in France I dated a Frenchwoman of African descent. France is a generally racist country, and she had been treated like a second-class citizen her whole life there. Most of the negative vibes we got on the street in France were from judgmental white people, while the Africans I knew tended to respond to us with welcoming friendliness. When she came back to the United States with me, there was the opposite reaction. That is, the glaring looks and rude comments came above all from African-American males. She went back to France with a very negative opinion of African Americans, simply because it was so obvious that so many of them had been judging her negatively during her stay, based on their own cultural prejudices, which had nothing to do with the reality of her life.
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Name : KR26938, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 25, City : Chicago, State : IL, Country : United States, Social class : Middle class, -
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