Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 52 replies, 52 voices, and was last updated 18 years, 7 months ago by
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- Even though people of the same sex are in love and living together for years, with bank accounts and mortages, and going through sorrow and joy together, they cannot obtain a piece of paper saying they can get all the benefits that a man and woman in the same situation can get . What is the problem? Is the religious community the reason? Why do same-sex marriages scare so many?
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Name : Debbie, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 43, City : Flint, State : MI Country : United States, Occupation : RN/College student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I think it's an outrage that gay people want to have the same rights to marriage that straight people do. Back in the 1930s, there was no such thing as gay people. If you were gay, you kept it to yourself because someone could kill you and they're only defense would be, he was gay. Then in the 1970s you saw everything - whores, gay people, people just walking around nude. Gay guys who just had hundreds of partners a night. And thus this is where society discovered AIDS. So now gay people can be gay, someone can know about it, they can even walk down the street and hold hands with another gay man and have no fear of what's going to happen. But alas, that's still not good enough. Gay people want their own schools and, most appalling, the right to marry. Why is it that I can't go to an all-Christian school for free, but gay people can go to an all-gay school? I think it's sad that we've become this type of society.User Detail :
Name : Renee, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, City : Clinton, State : MD Country : United States, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Lower middle class,I think the historical point of supporting married couples is the hope that they will eventually have children who will be valuable and productive members of society. Since there is no way for a homosexual couple to naturally bear children together, they don't receive as much societal support. The concept of marriage has always been intended for straight relationships. People just haven't yet been able to expand that concept to include gays.User Detail :
Name : JustMe26894, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Age : 27, City : Atlanta, State : GA Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I think your presumption that individuals who oppose same-sex marriages are afraid of something is invalid. Values are not fear-based but rather are based on reasoned right and wrong, as well as appropriate and inappropriate behavior. You would not say that people are scared of alcoholics simply because they find drunken, lewd, behavior obnoxious, would you? Nor would you suggest that society should not make laws regulating this behavior simply because the individuals claim they have a genetic propensity for alcoholism, would you? Well, homosexuality is no different. Individuals who choose to engage in same-gender sex should not be granted special rights based on their sexual mis-orientation. As individuals in our society, they have the right as any other citizen to marry a person of the opposite gender. They know full well that (in same-sex relationships) they do not have the rights of a married couple, nor should they, just as a drunk has no right to drive, simply because he or she has never been in an accident.Choosing to be homosexual does not make homosexuality a civil right. Society does not need to endorse or condone any inappropriate behavior that is unacceptable to the functioning of a civilized society. This has nothing to do with fear and eveything to do with values, family and the long-term health of children.
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Name : Cece, City : St. Paul, State : MN Country : United States,I also think it is sad that people in these situations can't make it offical. What is the big deal? That is their life, and love is love.User Detail :
Name : Natalie20264, Gender : F, Race : Armenian, Age : 22, City : Flint, State : MI Country : United States,Why not polygamy then? I haven't talked to a single lesbian who approves of this. People should look at their own level of tolerance when judging the mating decisions of consenting adults. I wouldn't choose to be a lesbian or a polygamist, but if one alternative is allowed, then so should the other.User Detail :
Name : Kathy, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 37, City : Fresno, State : CA Country : United States, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Lower class,You know, it is really sad. This is supposed to be the land of the free. We are supposed to be able to make our own decisions and live happier lives. How is that the case when we can't even decide who to marry? To me, marriage is about love and commitment. Why would anyone want to put restrictions on that?User Detail :
Name : Rachel30193, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 22, City : Baltimore, State : MD Country : United States, Social class : Middle class,I agree that same-sex couples should have the right to marriage and the same legal benefits heterosexual couples have. I can appreciate the argument that same-sex couples 'cannot naturally have children,' and that's all well and good, but here's my point: maybe it's just me, but when I was a child, I was taught that marriage is a contract based on love and respect for one's partner, not simply based on having children. The arguments put forth in the Defense of Marriage Act and others relate marriage to simple procreation, which I find to be an attack on the sanctity of marriage. If that's the way our government wants it, then I as a straight woman want no part of their marriage. I choose love and respect any day.User Detail :
Name : Denise, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 24, City : Dover, State : NH Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College,Most of the people I've met who are opposed to same-sex marriages were taught that gays are the biggest sinners in the world by their parents and preachers. While we are supposed to view all sin as equal and love others like Jesus did, many Christians are taught that homesexuality is the worst sin of all. Personally, I think homosexuality is genetic, and I have several close friends who knew they were gay from puberty. They want to be able to marry the people they love, and they should be able to celebrate and honor that love. Same-sex marriage will not harm heterosexuals in any way. Unfortunately, because many opposers were taught to hate gays from childhood, they will not condone anything 'pro-gay,' yet they have heterosexuals in their family who are in physically and emotionally abusive marriages. And that hatred, I feel, is a more serious issue.User Detail :
Name : Sally28528, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 30, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : IT, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,My partner and I have been together for 21 years, and we had to pay $2,000 for wills and power of attorneys to ensure that family members will not strip us of our rights when one of us dies. If you only want people who can 'reproduce' to marry, God help any woman past menopause who meets a man she loves and wants to marry. Get your facts straight, people, over half of the new cases of HIV are straight people, which by the way brings up an interesting point: If only gay people have AIDS, how did it cross over to the straight community? Also, pedophiles are straight men over 40, and yes, I can prove it. Get the data from any state or federal agency. I am sick and damn tired of being slandered by people who compare gay Americans to Americans they hate. Oh, and by the way, in 1930, black Americans could not marry white Americans - got a problem with that? I'm gay, I'm an American and I will fight for my rights until hell freezes over.User Detail :
Name : Alma31451, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Methodist, Age : 50, City : Kempner, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Government employee, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,Are you for real? I think you'd be hard pressed to find a sigle gay man that had sex with a 100 guys in one night. Do you really believe that. I would think after the 50 time your penis would fall off. Get off your church wagon and get a life.User Detail :
Name : JZ, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 29, City : Milwaukee, State : WI Country : United States, Occupation : CS, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,It amazes me how brainwashed my people are. So-called 'Christians' have taught us to hate others as they have hated us. Now you have black people (especially women, who also seem to become apoplectic when the subject of interracial relationships come up) spewing poisonous words of hate toward people they deem a threat to society who simply want to fit into it. Black preachers ensure that no one sees the light by selectively picking out Bible quotes (none of which are from the New Testament) and spreading their lies as only they can. Before you think of discounting my arguments, I'll have you know I am as straight a man as can be. However, I don't go out of my way to denigrate someone who is different. I say 'Live and let live.' Maybe I just developed a resistance to the BS that organized religions put out as facts. If you want to go back to the '30s, go ahead. Just watch out for the lynch mob that would come after YOU with as much fervor as they would the objects of your animosity.User Detail :
Name : Vincent Blake, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : No religious affiliation, Age : 30, City : Minneapolis, State : MN Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,2. One response talks about gays seeking "special rights." What, exactly, would those be? Name one right that gays have demanded that would be "special" (more than) other people enjoy right now. By this logic, Rosa Parks was unfairly demanding the "special right" to sit at the front of the bus. And the Chinese were seeking the "special right" of not being denied housing based on their race/ethnicity in California. And Blacks were seeking "special rights" by not having to take "literacy tests" in southern states that whites never had to take. The only thing that makes gay rights "special" is that certain people in this country don't want gays to have them. The only example that comes close is the "gay high school" issue [Harvey Milk], which if someone had taken 5 minutes to actually learn about would find admits students regardless of sexual orientation; any student at risk due to harassment by other students will be admitted. One poster requests a "Christian-only" school. Fine. Point me to a community where Christians face the daily bullying and violence that gays often do in our public schools and I'll support your school (and no, refusing to teach your pseudo-scientific "creation theory" in biology class doesn't count). 3. By now you're surely saying "But Coyotefred...what makes their rights 'special' is that gay people CHOOSE to be gay, while your other examples were not due to biology." A first response to the "choice versus biology" issue might be "so what." People choose to be Republicans and Baptists as well. Is that reason to deny them equal rights compared to Democrats and Catholics? But if you insist on fixating on the choice issue, I ask you a simple question: acknowledging what any honest person must about the daily bigotry, intolerance and outright violence gay people face in the country every day, WHAT REASONABLE PERSON WOULD CHOOSE TO BE GAY??? You can pretend if you want that we now live in a "Will and Grace"/"Queer Eye" world....but we all know what happens in 99% of our communities when a same-sex couple walks down a public street holding hands. WHY would anyone WILLINGLY CHOOSE to risk becoming the next Matt Sheppard??? And if you can't answer that question maybe you need to rethink your position on this issue. (And no, you can't weasel out by arguing the choice is somehow "unconscious" etc., which no longer makes it a "choice" now does it?)User Detail :
Name : Coyotefred, City : Sunflower, State : NE Country : United States,Actually, interracial heterosexual marriages were still illegal in the USA state of Virginia until - believe it or not - June 12, 1967. (That law imposed a 1 to 5 year prison sentence for heterosexual interracial marriages in the state of Virginia.) On 6/12/67, the US Supreme Court decided the 'Loving vs. Virginia' case, and ruled that Virginia's law against interracial heterosexual marriages was unconstitutional. Info: RICHARD PERRY LOVING et ux., Appellants, v. VIRGINIA 388 US 1, 18 L ed 2d 1010, 87 S Ct 1817 Argued April 10, 1967. Decided June 12, 1967 In an opinion by WARREN, Ch.J., expressing the view of eight members of the court, it was held that the Virginia statutes violated both the equal protection and the due process clauses of the Fourteenth Amendment. Mr. Chief Justice Warren delivered the opinion of the Court. My favorite part of the ruling is the ending: 'These statutes also deprive the Lovings of liberty without due process of law in violation of the Due Process Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment. The freedom to marry has long been recognized as one of the vital personal rights essential to the orderly pursuit of happiness by free men. Marriage is one of the 'basic civil rights of man,' fundamental to our very existence and survival. To deny this fundamental freedom on so unsupportable a basis as the racial classifications embodied in these statutes, classifications so directly subversive of the principle of equality at the heart of the Fourteenth Amendment, is surely to deprive all the State's citizens of liberty without due process of law. The Fourteenth Amendment requires that the freedom of choice to marry not be restricted by invidious racial discriminations. Under our Constitution, the freedom to marry, or not marry, a person of another race resides with the individual and cannot be infringed by the State. These convictions must be reversed. It is so ordered.' For more info, see: Association of MultiEthnic Americans, Inc. P.O. Box 341304 Los Angeles, CA 90034-1304 http://www.latinoculture.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?site=http://www.ameasite.org/loving.htmlUser Detail :
Name : Carol, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 46, City : Pennsauken, State : NJ Country : United States, Occupation : IT Training & Documentation Manager, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,A few observations, based on my own 34 years on this planet and more importantly my experience teaching hundreds of students in college diversity classes, where sexual orientation is often discussed. 1. The first post is right...it isn't primarily fear driving anti-gay feelings. Most of the time it's simple blind adherence to religious doctrine. To answer the original post's question: yes, it is the religious community. I have yet to find ONE student who strongly opposes gay marriage (or homosexuality in general) who has not based that conclusion on their religious beliefs. It is easy to understand why the major Proselytic religions of the world (esp. Christianity and Islam) have most frequently been interpreted as condemning homosexuality: it's bad for business. The "business" for these Proseltyic religions is to increase membership. One can do this though conversion ("missionary" work) or, more fundamentally, procreation (breeding). Children are quite likely to share the same religion as their parents, and thus encouraging procreation (Gen 1:28: "Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the earth...") increases membership. In this context, it is easy to understand why many religions oppose practices which limit procreation, from homosexuality to contraception to non-procreative sexual contact (oral and anal sex). With more than 237,000 new people added to this planet each day, I think religious believers can move on to portions of their doctrine we humans haven't followed so effectively (e.g. poverty and wealth).User Detail :
Name : coyotefred, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 35, City : sunflower, State : NE Country : United States, Social class : Lower middle class,
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