I'm a 24-year-old white male who works in a store that deals with a large number of people on a daily basis. I've noticed that when I help a black customer who's middle aged or elderly, they're often very friendly and appreciative, often much moreso than their white counterparts. However, when I attempt to help a younger black customer, especially a young man, they're almost always dismissive or even rude for no apparent reason. Is there an easy answer for the discrepency?
User Detail :
Name : Ben23356, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 24, City : Morgantown, State : WV Country : United States, Occupation : Salesman / Customer Service, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, There is no clear-cut answer for what you have experienced from the younger black (particularly male) customers. In my retail experience, I have dealt with quite a few young white, Asian, black, and Middle Eastern (male and female) customers who were quite rude and dismissive, even though I was very courteous and attentive to them. Bad manners are present in all races, and I'm sure that many people in the retail industry can attest to that. It's unfortunate that you had to deal with a few bad apples that happened to be black, but please do not think that almost all young black men are rude to people who assist them.
User Detail :
Name : Liz22551, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, City : Washington, State : DC Country : United States, Older black customers are especially nice to you because they were conditioned to be that way by the racist society in which they were brought up. White men had the power to make their lives miserable, destroy their families and even murder them without recourse. Untold numbers of blacks were murdered for such offenses as not being polite enough to a white person. Younger blacks are less likely to be polite to you because they know they don't have to be. Generations of their ancestors were forced to submit to whites. Who can blame them for not wanting any part of it?
User Detail :
Name : Lucy22408, Gender : F, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Age : 27, City : San Jose, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Enginneer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, They probably think you are challenging their intelligence by offering to 'help' them, or they think you are suspicious of them trying to steal. I see quite a bit of arrogance in some younger black customers where I work that stems from a mistaken idea that they are perceived as inferior by all whites, and they think of themselves as inferior. A lot of young black (and white) males take on a macho pose, too. Most of the time, if you act normal and respond honestly and with respect, that 'hostility' will dissipate. Older people in general are more established and confident about themselves. There are of course some regional and cultural nuances that have to be delt with depending on the situation. Also, age might be a drawback in your case.
User Detail :
Name : Bob23117, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 56, City : Laurel, State : MD Country : United States, Occupation : customer service, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, I do not believe this is the behavior of excluselively young black men. (Hey Bob!)
User Detail :
Name : michael20713, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 24, City : Laurel, State : MD Country : United States, Occupation : video/satelitte/audio, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Lower middle class, Put the 'old blacks grew up in an oppressive society' and 'young blacks think that a 'hello' is equivalent to 'whacha gonna steal?' arguments to rest. Old people are nicer in general, and young people are more likely to be rude. It's just a common thing in a lot of countries, not just the United States. If it makes you feel any better, all races of teenagers are treated as potential shoplifters. Simple fact is, most caught shoplifters ARE teenagers and thats a stigma they will all have to bear until they grow up. I had to put up with it and so did many others. Trick is if you don't act like a jerk in a store, be polite and smile often merchants and security won't hassle you. Just one of life's lessons.
User Detail :
Name : Allan-M, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 22, City : Halifax, Nova Scotia, State : NA Country : Canada, Occupation : Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, I don't think the older folks are being nice because they are afraid of you, but possibly because you ARE helping them. If you are used to being ignored or followed around, and someone genuinely wants to help, you do appreciate it. Think about it: if you're getting older, maybe your eyesight isn't what it used to be, or maybe you can't lift as much, etc., so when someone offers help, you take it. As for the younger people, there are many instances in which store employess have unfairly profiled black shoppers as if they may steal something. And they don't have to be young or poor. It happened to Oprah in New York City. If I go into a store and leave without buying something, sometimes I feel like they may think I am stealing.
User Detail :
Name : Senetra28033, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Baptist, Age : 28, City : Anderson, State : IN Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, My experience is that in general, elderly people of any race are more polite, except for a few very very very cranky ones, than young people. I suspect that if you observed as carefully the white, hispanic, etc. people you serve, as you do the black people, you would notice this too about every race. In other words, it's a generational thing, not a race thing.
User Detail :
Name : Kelly, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, City : Austin, State : TX Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Young black males have this defensive attitude that they exude by being offensive. All that they have read and been told through the popular media like rap music, 'black' movies et al have all played their part in making them feel that they are inferior. But I would blame the black people themselves for not fighting this victim mindset but infact perpetuating it because it seems the easy way out. I think it is high time that black people in general realise that the only thing that they are hurting is themselves when they keep playing on this victim mindset b'cos it hurts their efforts to be accepted as full fledged members of the society and keeps their dependancies on the state and other forms of outside govenmental interfernce high which in turn feeds white anger and irritation. A lot of minorities in our society have been discriminated against including women, handicapped people, Jews, people of Asian descent, etc but they didn't use this as an excuse for asking for gevernmental handouts but infact went the other way and by sheer dint of hard work and skill obtained their rightful place in society. Perhaps some major introspecting needs to be done by the Black community as a whole...
User Detail :
Name : Jack21198, City : Milw, State : WI Country : United States, I disagree with most of these, especially the conditioning arguments. Although I am white myself, my understanding of history is that older black folks were brought up in a time of Martin Luther King Jr, a time of peaceful riots, of non-violence and public discord. And they won the battle, these young black students through peaceful ways won the right to eat wherever they wanted to, to sit wherever they wanted to. While they were still more repressed than contemporary black americans, They fought a non-violent battle and won. Of course they are friendly, happy people. They are far better off today than they ever were in the past. Meanwhile, the current young black generation has never known the same racism their fathers felt, but they have grown up with the same economic desparities. Unlike their fathers, where any step was seen as a step forward, these blacks feel that since racism has been abolished they by all means should have the same socio-economic status as whites. Unfortunately the hundreds of years of racism has created the black ghetto, and the ghetto is a sort of blackhole.. once you get sucked in, it's very hard to get out. So younger blacks are angry at their positions in the world, they see that the whites claim racism no longer exists, but then they also see that whites are far better off than blacks. I would be angry in the same sitatution myself. Their parents saw racism out in the open, it provided a reason for the economic discrepancies. Younger blacks see it that the racism has gone underground, which is a much more frustrating situation. This is clearly reflected in black music. Look at the black pop music of the 60's... it was motown, soul, good feeling music. Blacks were doing good then, they were making advancements in white society. Look at contemporary black music, rap and hiphop. This advancement has stagnated, and music shows the anger of this.
User Detail :
Name : Ian-S, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 19, City : Portland, State : OR Country : United States, Occupation : Engineer, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, I find your situation interesting. I am Canadian and wonder if there is a reciprocal situation north of the border. Anybody out there to comment? Myself, I've never had a problem, no matter the ethnic background. If people are polite or rude, it seems to be their background or upbringing... nothing else. One of my mixed friends has commented on receiving less than optimal service from others. ???? I live in Australia now and have learned that there is much discrimination against the Aboriginals, depending on the area, similar to Canada, (and I am sure, also the States), and would like to hear from some of these groups to know the opposite side.
User Detail :
Name : Rebekah, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Ha ha, Disability : Human in a time of inhumanity, Race : Does it really matter?, Religion : What do you care?, Age : 28, City : Melbourne, State : NA Country : Australia, Occupation : Teacher, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, A few people who responded have credited racist conditioning for the politeness of the older customers. Oh, please. Impolite jerks can be found equally distributed throughout the population, but there seem to be a lot more among the young. People, black or white, aren't being taught manners anymore. And did you notice, in these postings, that the young, who whine the loudest about racism, are the ones who apparently 'know they 'don't have to' be polite, because they haven't been 'conditioned' like the old? It's not real racism if the consequences of it can be switched on and off at your convenience.
User Detail :
Name : Bill, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Episcopalian, Age : 45, City : Tempe, State : AZ Country : United States, Occupation : graphic designer, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, Ben, I think the older black folks realize that their rioting days are over, so they mellow out. DC.
User Detail :
Name : Dan-Cubrich27332, City : Omaha, State : NE Country : United States, I don't understand some of these responses that equate 'politeness' with 'conditioning.' Is it a BAD idea to treat someone with the same kindness and manners they have afforded you? Is it a subordinate response to react with politeness and dignity and regard? I think, in general, older people are more polite, and I am disturbed by the fact that people would construe good manners as some sort of plot by 'the Man.' Grow up.
User Detail :
Name : Chris32189, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Religion : Buddhist, Age : 29, City : Pittsburgh, State : PA Country : United States, Occupation : writer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, Most young people are not raised to have the good manners older people have. It's the child worship syndrome in action.
User Detail :
Name : L., Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 44, City : Honolulu, State : HI Country : United States, Occupation : clerical, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences .
