[Matt T.]

How does a male tell another male he's attracted to him when he doesn't know his orientation without offending him or getting beat up?

User Detail :  

Name : Matt T., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Pagan, Age : 38, City : Olympia, State : WA Country : United States, Occupation : Laborer, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Lower middle class, 

[Chuck A.]

I'll assume this exchange is taking place in a 'neutral' environment such as a shopping mall or a museum, and not at a gay bar. First, you must keep in mind that most men are straight and would not welcome the attentions of other men who confess such attractions. That having been said, however, there is the significant possibility that the object of your attraction is indeed gay or bisexual. Eye contact is important: If the man engages in longer-than-usual eye contact with you and accompanies it with a friendly smile, that's a good sign. Striking up some conversation is the next step: Are you in a music store? Have you noticed that the object of your affection is interested in a lot of the same recording artists as you are? You might remark, 'Oh, that's a great CD.' Different social environments call for breaking the ice in different ways, but once the conversation has started, you can begin to gauge how interested he might be in you depending on how much personal information he chooses to disclose. If you already have a lot of gay friends, your 'Gaydar' may be sufficiently well-honed for you to figure out whether the man in question might welcome your attentions. If you have not confessed your attraction to him, and yet he agrees to join you later for a beer or a bite to eat, you may have at least made a new friend. If anything, be discreet, and don't rush things.

User Detail :  

Name : Chuck A., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 41, City : Spring Hill, State : WV Country : United States, Occupation : AIDS Educator/Part-time radio announcer, 

[Dondi M.]

There are a couple different ways you could work on this problem. First, most gay/bisexual men and women have what is called gaydar. It actually does exist and works very well. I can almost always tell with 75 percent accuracy if someone is gay or not, just by the vibes, subtle body language, mannerisms, speech and so on. Sometimes not even that much is needed; I can just look at someone and know. And they don't have to be flamboyant, either. But it sounds like you're unable to get those vibes off this guy you're interested in, or you haven't perfected your gaydar yet. In that case, if this guy is a friend of yours, what you can do is bring up the topic of homosexuality and see how he responds. Just say something like "A friend of mine came out to me as gay. What do you think of that?" and see what his comments are. It's also a really good way to find out if a friend is homophobic or not. Now if this guy is a stranger, your best bet would be to just observe him, without stalking, and see where he goes. Does he go to a gay bar? In the bookstore, is he looking at gay-themed books? And so on. I'd be interested in finding out how things go for you.

User Detail :  

Name : Dondi M., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 27, City : Vancouver, State : NA Country : Canada, Occupation : Systems Administration, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 

[George21651]

The easiest way is to talk about the subject, see how this person reacts to gay activities, and see if he may be interested in experimenting. If he reacts very strongly against it, let it go. Otherwise, go ahead slowly but surely...

User Detail :  

Name : George21651, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Age : 22, City : Oahu, State : HI Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper class, 

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