[Jude]

How do I know whether or not a disabled person wants to be helped out, like with opening doors, or if they feel they can do it themselves?

User Detail :  

Name : Jude, Gender : F, Religion : Catholic, Age : 18, City : Marietta, State : GA Country : United States, 

[Roxy]

Ask.

User Detail :  

Name : Roxy, City : Aneheim, State : CA Country : United States, 

[Rachelle]

I have cerebral palsy and use a walker to get around. A lot of the doors around hear are very heavy and hard to open, so when someone offers to help me I am always appreciative. Some people have a hard time with asking for help because they don't want to be seen the way some people might think and they choose to try to be independent and do things on their own. Sometimes asking people before you do anything helps us a lot. :)

User Detail :  

Name : Rachelle, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 19, City : Jackson, State : MI Country : United States, Occupation : college student, Social class : Middle class, 

[SB]

Well if you ask the individual, they shouldn't have a problem with calming answering. If a person's struggling with a door, it would be fine to just ask. Asking is always good. Some people don't like others to help them, but many do.

User Detail :  

Name : SB, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Disability : Visually impaired, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 20, City : Madison, State : WI Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Middle class, 

[Mango]

My bet goes towards the surest way is asking them 'excuse me, would you like some help? ::smile::' Remember, everyone is different, one person might find this the sweetes thing in the world, while another might find it most offensive.

User Detail :  

Name : Mango, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Greek, Religion : Atheist, Age : 14, City : Portland, State : OR Country : United States, 

[EW]

Ask them in a polite way if they would like help. If they say No then just back off If they say Yes then you can help them

User Detail :  

Name : EW, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 54, City : Lake Havasu City, State : AZ Country : United States, 

[alex]

when they say help me...usually lots want to do it themselves. this helps them to build stronger self confidence, and also a stronger physical state...depending on what they are doing.

User Detail :  

Name : alex, Gender : F, Race : *poweRpuFF greeN*, Age : 19, City : houston, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : *maDsCienTist*, 

[Jesse]

Only one way: ask. It's never wrong to offer assistance in a general way. 'May I give you a hand with that?' is always a polite inquiry. Then listen for their response. What infuriates me are: 1) People who grab things out of my hands. 2) Folks who do ask, but phrase the question assuming I'm incapable. For example: 'You can't open that door, can you?' 3) Folks who ask but don't listen. I'll say, 'Thanks, can you hold the door open from the left side?' yet they'll stand in the doorway. There's no way for me to go through the doorway without running over their toes.

User Detail :  

Name : Jesse, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Disability : wheelchair user, mental illness, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Jewish, Age : 47, City : Madison, State : WI Country : United States, Occupation : civic activist, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Upper middle class, 

[kellyn]

Try just treating them as you do anyone else. For example, if I walk through a door and my able bodied friend is right behind me, I hold it open for my friend. I would do the same if my friend were physically challenged. I work with a disabled man and he is quite capable of asking for help when he needs it. As I've gotten to know him, I've learned what he consistantly needs help with and usually offer to help. If you just relax and get to know the person, knowing when is appropriate to help will come to you naturally.

User Detail :  

Name : kellyn, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 30, City : clute, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : tech writer, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Middle class, 

[Jeff Cobner]

I have opposite experience. When I need it cant find it and vice versa. Guess thats the way the world is?

User Detail :  

Name : Jeff Cobner, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Disability : Blind and wheelchair, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 25, City : Richmond, State : VA Country : United States, Occupation : College Student, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Lower class, 

[Jeff Cobner]

I use to wait for help, but people offering help varies with area, Harrisonburg versus Richmond. I have the mind set of help or get out of the way.

User Detail :  

Name : Jeff Cobner, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Disability : Blind and wheelchair, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 25, City : Richmond, State : VA Country : United States, Occupation : College Student, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Lower class, 

[Don]

I often have this dilemma at work and in other parts of life. I usually simply ask 'need some help?' or 'can I help you with that?' I just try not to make a big deal out of it. Sometimes I get nailed for it, sometimes I get thanks. either way I do not let it affect me for more than a few seconds. I have had problems opening a door with my arms full of groceries.

User Detail :  

Name : Don, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Episcopalian, Age : 31, City : Columbia, State : SC Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Josh]

Seriously, I like to help people in situations like opening a door or lifting something heavy or out of reach, and I always ask first. Just try not to sound condescending. It's easy to do these quick, helpful things. I'm not disabled physically, but I still appreciate some one taking even a moment to think about me instead of themselves. I can only imagine that most people with disabilities would feel the same way.

User Detail :  

Name : Josh, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 25, City : Arcata, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Cook, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower class, 

[JR]

Hi, I am a disabled person. I am capable of doing a lot on my own. I have 3 teens and a full-time job. I am a slow walker and do have problems with stairs. I prefer to do as much as I can if I am able. Usually most disabled persons will ask if they need help. And when in doubt, it is OK to ask if they want your help. I do need my children to do things for me when I am tired, but mostly I do just about everything around the house. I hope that helps some of you understand better.

User Detail :  

Name : JR, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Disability : Orthopedic Problems and MS, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 44, City : Seattle, State : WA Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Brandi]

My boyfriend has spina bifida and there is one main thing I have learned - ask them if they want help or not. Something like 'would you like me to get that for you?' or the like, same as you might do for anyone else. It works.

User Detail :  

Name : Brandi, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Pagan, Age : 28, City : Tallahassee, State : FL Country : United States, Occupation : Social Worker, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 

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