[LEAH]

Why don't black parents teach their kids about name-calling? They don't want to be called names because of their color, so I would think this would lead them to teach their kids that any sort of name-calling is wrong. I heard a black student tell a white student to 'sit your white a** down.' Isn't that a racist comment? With my kids, all it took was to point out to them how it makes them feel when someone calls them a name. If you put your kids in the 'wronged' postion, they have a better understanding as to what it feels like rather than just telling them. Teaching kids that it goes both ways is a must.

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Name : LEAH, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Pentecostal, Age : 39, City : Bartow, State : FL Country : United States, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, 

[Trey24888]

You quoted one incident and attributed the incident to all black people. As a black male teenager, I have been taught very well that name-calling and stereotyping is wrong. It is wrong no matter who says it.

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Name : Trey24888, City : Seattle, State : WA Country : United States, 

[Tha-Real-Deal24730]

My black parents did teach me about name calling. Therefore, there are black parents teaching that. Maybe you meant to ask 'Why are SOME black parents not teaching their kids about name calling.' I have been called racist names before, so it goes both ways. There are some parents, white and black alike, who just are not teaching this information. It is more than 'a black thing.'

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[Paula19817]

I've noticed that, in general, African Americans refer to color in all situations - not just abusive ones. Whenever a black guy comes on to me on the street, he will always refer to race, i.e. 'hey pretty white girl' or 'you're the sexiest Caucasion women i've ever seen,' etc. It's weird. I've never had Latinos call me 'blanca' or 'gringa.' Also, when interacting with each other, African Americans often use lots of race-conscious words such as 'chocolate,' 'cocoa' or 'ebony,' even if a description of the person is not necessary.

To directly address your point, African Americans do operate on the false notion that racism can only come from those in the majority, and that any racially based hostility from them is somehow OK and does not affect the recipient. I think over the next few years there will be a huge backlash as whites and other groups get sick of the racial double standards and stop being so extra-sensitive to others perceiving them as racist.

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Name : Paula19817, Gender : F, City : Boston, State : MA Country : United States, 

[valerie]

Have you ever been to a probation office? I had occasion to go to one on business. What a mess: 90 percent of the people there were black. They don't know how to say hello, goodbye, yes ma'am, no sir or much else without a grunt or a grumble. They can't seem to fill out the paperwork or have an appropriate response to a question. You mentioned that you teach your children empathy. These people who make up a lot of the black community haven't been taught to read or write, much less basic behaviors. Most don't have positive role models. You're not going to fix something that has been broken for a long time.

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[Adam25146]

Take the focus off of race and put it on the parents. That's where it starts. It's not a black thing or a white thing. Kids are becoming worse with each generation because parents aren't raising them. They send them off to school thinking that's all that needs to be done. You can't expect kids to know better if that's what they see at home. You can't change the world by attempting to point the finger at one gender, race, ethnicity or anything else. You start by asking that child why they would phrase it like that. Then you educate them. My mother taught me that people are people, regardless of color.

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[Danielle]

I am a young black female honor student, and I admit I have name-called. But everyone does it, not just blacks. You are mistaken if you think that when you aren't around your children aren't cruel to others. In school, our mentality is being cool. If someone does something to you that you don't like, you are supposed to stand up for yourself in front of your friends. If you don't, you are labeled a punk and your friends make fun of you. Name-calling is the way to gain respect from friends and to look tough.

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Name : Danielle, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 14, City : St. Louis, State : MO Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : Less than High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, 

[Kristina26265]

I can understand why you would think that was racist, but it really isn't. Blacks of this ilk don't limit name-calling to a certain ethnicity. They will make fun of whomever doesn't look, dress or act like them. Racial slurs can be part of this process, simply because it perhaps is the ultimate 'put-down.' Also, blacks do not feel it is racism to make fun of whites racially, because they hold the position of power. Anyway, these are low-class black kids who have to put down others because they ultimately have low self-esteem for themselves. Not all blacks behave this way.

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[L26179]

Why would you make an assumption about what 'black parents' teach their kids vs. what you taught yours? You have described one incident of poor behavior from a black student and used it to assume not only that that student's parent would have approved of the child's behavior, but also that it's somehow representative of how all black parents must teach their children to behave. Did you teach your kids to think that way, too, and should we assume that it's because you're white?

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Name : L26179, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 23, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : writer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Dominique]

It looks to me that if you would just take 'black' and 'white' out of your posting, you would see it applies to all rude children whose parents have not taught them better. Why are people so quick to label an entire population based on their experiences with a few? There is no way in hell anyone can say 'most xxx people do this' because you don't know most of those people. How dare you assume all black children are disrespectful in this manner. If I were to assume that all white college students call their black counterparts 'nigger' (because of my experiences with this) instead of their name, you would say that was ridiculous.

Of course 'sit your white ass down' is a racist comment. But then again, so is 'sit your black ass down,' which I have been told a few times by whites. That would leave me to ask the same thing you did, only with white in place of black.

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Name : Dominique, Gender : F, Age : 20, City : Houston, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Scientist, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower class, 

[Carmela]

Dear Leah, I think you may have confused that one poorly raised child with all black children. I teach my child not to call names, he is 3 and he does not call people names because I won't allow it. I think that child may not have been taught the Golden Rule, do unto others as you would have them do unto you. But I would appreciate it if you didn't make sweeping generalizations about black parents across the board like that. That was one child, if I had a penny for every child I heard calling names, black or white, I would have hundreds of dollars. I think you are confusing racial issues with poor parenting, which is something that crosses all color lines. And correct me if I am wrong, from time to time, even good kids misbehave, maybe he was just not at his best that day, does that mean his parents have not taught him not to call names? Nope, it does not. I think you may want to analyze your thinking on black parents and step away from the stereotypes that are clouding your thinking about black parents. Think about this, if that child had been the same race as you, would you have thought all the parents of your racial or ethnic background did not teach their children that it is rude and wrong to name call, or cuss? What that child says,I think qualifies as cussing, not name calling. I would like to know what the white child said to the black child that told him to sit his 'white a**' down. It sounds like they may have been having a disagreement of sorts. On occassion I have heard black folk tell someone to sit their 'black a**' down. I think it is more a description of the person's a** than a racial slur. All the same,it is not appropriate for a child to talk like that and I don't allow my child to use such language and I don't think many black people allow that.

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[Adolf–Hitler]

I, guess black parents are the ideal dissfunctional family, huh. We let our ghetto children do anything they want without teaching them anything. On the other hand white people handle their kids the best, i mean just ask the students at COLUMBINE. Lady, kids are kids black kids and white kids resort to name calling wether or not you put them in the 'wronged position'. You heard one black kid say sit your white a#% down and now all black parents dont teach thier kids anything.

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Name : Adolf--Hitler, City : Somewhere, State : NA Country : Germany, 

[Angel]

'why don't black kids teach their kids about name calling?' Let me identify the first mistake you said black parents instead of some black parents (stereotyping) I am a black parent and I would not tolerate such a thing. Guess what my child got called a name by a white child and I certainly didn't say why dont white people teach their kids not to call names you cant stereotype a whole race for what one person did that is ignorant and its just stereotyping I got a question for you why do a lot of white people base their thoughts on how they think of a black person based upon what one black person did When will people learn we all have our faults no matter what color we are no one is superior to the other and are all created equal in Gods eyes now back to the child who made the comment to the white child well If it bothered you so bad tell the childs mother and I bet she would flip sometimes kids do things they would not do if they were in our supervision this goes for black kids, white kids, and any other race hope this helps have a blessed day :)

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[Serene28045]

You post made me chuckle. First thing I thought of was her ass a diffrent color than the rest of her and therefore remarkable. The second thing I thought was that the speaker was just being rude. I am sure you are aware that rudeness knows no color or ethnicity. Finally on the subject of name calling, I thought back a million years ago when I was a teenager. I was with a group of friends-- about 6 white and 2 blacks, we were listing the various 'bad' names we had ever heard the other called. As hard as myself and the other black kid could we only came up with 'honkey', whitey' and Mr. Charley. I must say that the list the 'white' friends came up with was much longer and quite impressive. They seemed to be really shocked that we hadn't heard of most of them and even more shocked to know that we-as in black people don't sit around calling each other names and spead very little time calling others names based simply on prejudice or race. You are left wondering if the speaker was being racist, most likely she was just being rude. Is is racist to say that a person is white, if that person is white? Is is racist to say that a person is lazy and shiftless because they are white? Is it racist to assume that a particular group of people think or feel a certian way because of the color of their skin? Those questions will lead you into finding out about racism and bigotry>

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[Natalie]

There are a lot of white parents who don't know how to raise their children, either. Why do white children call black children 'nigger'? I see so many white parents who don't know how to correct their children. Their children talk back to them any kind of way.

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Name : Natalie, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Methodist, Age : 24, City : Baltimore, State : MD Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 

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