Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 17 replies, 18 voices, and was last updated 21 years, 2 months ago by
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- I am a heterosexual female and recently I have noticed that almost every woman now claims to be either a lesbian or bisexual. Almost all my friends are following this 'talk show' trend, and I am just curious: Why? I know that sometimes oral sex and foreplay (the only things two women are genetically capable of doing together) are a lot of times more enjoyable to a woman, but why are so many of us just giving up on the men? I could never be intimate with a woman even if I wanted to 'fit in,' so what is going on today with this latest trend? Am I a part of a dying out, true heterosexual breed? Am I the only one who sees this? Remember, Eve was the one who gave Adam the apple that got them both thrown out of Eden.
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Name : Tiorea T., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Age : 19, City : Wayne, State : NJ Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,There are not necessarily more lesbian and bisexual women around now than there were in the past. Remember that in bygone days, heterosexuality was more or less "compulsory"; there were few options for women outside of (heterosexual) marriage. Women these days have the option to express their true sexual nature, which may well be lesbian or bisexual, at least for part of their lives. Add to this the fact that apparently everyone and their sister wants to be on a talk show, another recent phenomenon.User Detail :
Name : Crystal, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Pagan, Age : 30's, City : Oakland, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Office manager, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Statistics seem to show that women are the minority in the openly homosexual world. Of course, due to the mechanics of sex, it is easier for a gay woman to conceal her true sexual orientation (i.e. her lack of interest in her partner) than a gay man. Also, there seems to be a lower incidence of "butch" lesbians than effeminate gay men, so female homosexuality is probably harder to identify in general to both the woman herself and other people.Either way, heterosexuals are not a dying breed. The impression that all women harbor some degree of lesbian tendencies is a myth perpetuated by Springer-esque TV talk shows and straight porn in which lesbianism is commonly depicted.
Furthermore, it is ludicrous to think that a straight woman would "switch" due to either social trends or a dissatisfaction with her male partners. Sexual orientation is a fixed, innate part of who you are, and if gay people have a hard time trying to be straight, then you can only imagine how much harder vice versa would be (as you said yourself).
As for the Bible, many women have quibbled with Eve's alleged temptation of Adam. And even if it did happen, it should not be held against all women any more than Bill Clinton's peccadilloes should be held against all men.
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Name : Dan31677, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 22, City : La Salle, State : IL Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College,When I was your age, I had a brief romantic relationship with a woman. It wasn't exactly experimentation - it was a close friendship that kind of took off and broke the boundaries. I know many heterosexual women who have had similar experiences. I suspect it's very common among young straight women to have a lesbian experience or two. Women are much more comfortable than men with romantic/sexual feelings about people of the same sex. I learned quite a bit from my lesbian experience. I learned that sexuality is not a multiple-choice, either-or thing. I also learned that relationships with women are crucial, and that heterosexual women can and should have strong emotional relationships with women. Perhaps some of your friends are going through similar experiences.User Detail :
Name : Rhiannon, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Jewish, Age : 28, City : Minneapolis, State : MN Country : United States, Occupation : Media studies graduate student,Many of the younger people of today have been indoctrinated, unsuspectingly many times, over the years by activist school boards. The school boards have traditionally had the trust of parents who have simply assumed that the teachers of today are of the same moral fiber as the teachers of yesteryear. The aim of some of these school boards may have been laudable, but the result is that young people often see homosexuality as no different than other lifestyles. It takes a strong person to stand up and say "No" to this sort of influence.User Detail :
Name : Normand19948, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 50, City : Alameda, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Blue-collar, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I think it's possible that you see more females (and males) being open about their sexuality, so it seems that "almost every woman now claims to be either a lesbian or bisexua." Gays and lesbians have always existed, but have had to keep their true selves under wraps for fear of ignorant comments at best, outright physical violence at worst. That pall of fear is lifting, albeit slowly, so you see many more self-declaring other-than-straight people. Your statements give credence to the truth about orientation: It is an inborn characteristic, not a learned trait (either from watching TV or from lax school boards) that can't be changed. Sure, physical impulses can be acted on to satisfy curiosity, but the core being of an individual can't be changed to suit societal expectations. You are a straight woman, you have heterosexual sex and are perfectly comfortable with that, as you should be. Be proud that you have the freedom to be yourself without fear of discrimination!User Detail :
Name : Mark B., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Cathedral of Hope - UFMCC, Age : 39, City : Dallas, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Financial analyst, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,I disagree that schools are to blame for this trend. Rather, it is becoming much more acceptable to the general population to be bisexual and homosexual. Many psychologists claim that you cannot be either heterosexual, bisexual or homosexual, but that it is a sliding scale, and that some people are more toward one end than others.You might be one of those people siding on the heterosexual side, but many women tend to be less toward either end. In addition, I feel lesbians are accepted more than gays in society; not that they have it any easier with discrimination, but in many situations the lesbian lifestyle is viewed as exotic, especially by men, while the gay lifestyle is usually frowned upon.Don't worry Tiorea, the heterosexual lifestyle is alive and well. This might seem to be declining merely because more people are voicing their own opinions, rather than conforming to a societal rule, but heterosexuality is nowhere near extinction.
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Name : Saied A., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Korean and Persian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 18, City : Alameda, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,Not everyone is secretly bisexual. I think that now that many communities are more open-minded about the fact there are plenty of people who are homosexual or bisexual, more people are willing to be open about their true selves. Schools are not making anyone become gay or bisexual. They are trying to allow students to find out and announce what their true orientation is without being afraid of what people will do to them. I think it is wonderful that people can be themselves and not have to hide an aspect of their life in fear.User Detail :
Name : Jessica, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 18, City : Santa Cruz, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I think it has become easier to be gay/lesbian. I also think it has become accepted to blame school and other institutions for this. To say that our youth are so easily swayed is to say that we are surrounded by idiots. The youth of today are more informed than ever, and I am a firm believer that knowledge is power. Even if more information is allowing them to be the person they want to be, isn't this better than being surrounded by depressed and unhappy people who are living a lie? You and I make choices about our lives every day that we feel are appropriate and the 'right thing.' Who are we to judge the choices of others just because they don't fit our mold?User Detail :
Name : Megan S., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 27, City : Rancho Santa Fe, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,Sure, blame the schools, and of course the 'radical homosexuals.' Growing up, the only folks I ever saw passing out recruitment materials were Evangelical Christians (in schools and on street corners). If 'almost every woman' around you is claiming this, then look at your surroundings. On the other hand, it's probably just more likely that people today can and are more open about their relationships. Straight people 'flaunt' their sexuality all the time - it's just that we're all pretty much used to it.User Detail :
Name : Michael C., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Methodist, Age : 38, City : Houston, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Intranet Manager, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,If the discussion of homosexuality in school constitutes 'indoctrination,' then surely schools were indoctrinating pupils to be heterosexual before, which is surely just as bad. Coming from a school in which homosexuality has never been mentioned by a teacher, I do not see how I could possibly have been indoctrinated. I believe that issues such as homosexuality should be freely discussed in school in order to give people the knowledge to make the choice that is right for them.In answer to the issue in hand, I think more people are coming out as gay/bisexual because society is more accepting. And what on Earth has Adam and Eve got to do with this? (I'm seriously looking for an answer here).
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Name : Hero21316, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : edging towards gay, Religion : Atheist, Age : 16, City : Aberdeen, State : NA Country : United Kingdom,Homosexuality is no more a lifestyle than hetersoexuality. We're not talking about picking out a pair of shoes or a car. I'm tired of people assuming we can 'pick' our sexual orientation, and the silliness of that assumption points to the lack of scientific information under which statements are made. If it were because of schools or some of the other influences previous responses have alluded to, we would be a whole nation of gay people!With that said and out of the way, my thoughts are that women are far more fluid in their sexuality than men. You see this quite often in older women who have either divorced, widowed or are alone and take on a female lover for companionship. I think most people make the mistake of believing that the only criteria for picking a lover or a mate is that the person be of the opposite sex. I think there would be less loneliness and less social ills if companions were picked on the basis of personality rather than gender. There would be far more options open to a person, and possibly less crime in the area of battering, bashing and suicide, as some of these crimes have to do with self-loathing and trying to fit into a 'one size fits all' mold that society has fashioned. Anger and hatred is then turned outward (battering and bashing) or on oneself (suicide). I think it's a very archaic view of basic human sexuality; we are far more complex than that. If you look all through nature, you will find variations of sexuality. As Kinsey found, there is a continuum: 80 percent of the population is some variation of being bisexual, with 10 percent truly homosexual and 10 percent truly heterosexual.
Now, the bisexual part: well, you may or may not act on it. Most of us are conditioned to look at being gay as a negative thing (hence gay people marrying straight people in hopes of turning straight themselves). Again, personality (and how someone looks) has a lot to do with sexual interactions on everybody's part. Rule of thumb: know thyself. Do what is correct and good for you, and that harms no one else, and allow others to do the same. No one can dictate what another should do.
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Name : Kim H., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Humanist, Age : 44, City : Minneapolis, State : MN Country : United States, Occupation : Actress, Playwright & Director, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I think the reason women are coming out as either lesbian or bisexual is that they sense that the social climate is currently more tolerant toward those different from the 'norm.' It is not a fad. There is nothing wrong with homosexuality. It's amazing how intolerant and unforgiving most Christians are, considering that those ideas are the basic tenets of their religion. If the Bible works for you, that's great. But don't expect others to live by your beliefs.User Detail :
Name : Brian22984, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 33, City : Minneapolis, State : MN Country : United States, Occupation : Temp Slave, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower class,Your question had me agreeing with you right up until you made the Biblical reference, and then you lost me. I am a heterosexual female. While I can appreciate the internal and external qualities of women, I'm not physically or sexually attracted to them, nor would I want to explore my sexual options just to 'find out' what it's like to be with a woman rather than a man. I agreed with your observation that many females nowadays seem to be experimental in their sexuality, and THAT, I think, is indicative of a greater sense of 'gender liberation,' in which many people do not feel as constrained by rigid gender roles and explore their options because they CAN, not necessarily because they affiliate with ONE orientation or the other. The Biblical reference, however, made me question whether your query was hinting at the 'Rightness' and 'Wrongness' of sexual orientation, in which case I'd have to change my answer to reflect my opinion that hetero/homosexuality is not something governed by trends or choice, but rather, something one knows intrinsically to be 'true' of him/herself.User Detail :
Name : Taneia, Gender : F, Race : multi-ethnic, Age : 26, City : Toronto, Ontario, State : NA Country : Canada, Occupation : grad student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College,How typical to blame the 'evil schools' for something beyond anyone's control. A person's sexuality is a private matter that can't be controlled like one's consumption of food or drink. Beliefs like yours are what cause the 'lack of responsibility' mentality today. Blame someone else, that will solve everything ... right.User Detail :
Name : Chris32150, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States,
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