I think people ought to do what makes them happy and everyone else should mind their mutha truckin' business.
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Name : Myra20219, Gender : F, Race : black / Native American, Age : 21, City : Boston, State : MA Country : United States, I am a 21-year-old single mother of Irish/Italian heritage. I feel it is wrong for me to date or be in a relationship with a black or Arabian man because of the confusion it might cause my daughter. Granted, interracial relationships are more and more accpted, but I cannot see myself in one. I do not damn anyone else for having interracial relationships, becaue I know many people who do. What do others think?
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Name : Megan21939, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 21, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : account executive, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, Confuse her how? By teaching her that 'A good man is a good man -- regardless of race?' That we are all human? That you should not let everyone else dictate whom you choose to love? That we are all gods children? That you should judge people individually based on their actions rather than what others say about them? That you should think for yourself? Instead you can teach her these things! As long as the person looks like you, thats great! Even if they are mentally or physically abusive, at least they look like me? Do whatever the group says I should! Hate anyone who is different! You might not think that you are teaching her hate, but you would definitely be putting her on that path -- as you have been put on that path, even though you apparently have resisted following the path to its end. You should date whomever you feel attracted to. You should date whoever is good to you -- regardless of race or national origin, or religion. What matters is your feelings for each other, your mutual outlooks on life, respect for each other and each others views, and how that person treats you and feels about you and your daughter. Dating (or marrying) someone of another ethnicity will not confuse your daughter. Though other ignorant people might. But then, do you want to teach her to do what other ignorant people tell her to do? I hope not.
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Name : Wayne C., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Baptist, Age : 41, City : Parsippany, State : NJ Country : United States, Occupation : Marketing, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, I think you may be using your daughter as an excuse. Either that or you do not typically understand children. Your daughter would never be confused if you were dating a black men. Children tend to see people as people, not by their skin color. It is what their parents teach them that caused them to have such prejudice. If you think interracial dating is wrong, you are not confusing her, but instead, teaching her to pay attention to skin color. Teaching her that it is what is most important. Whether you love a man, or not, never to date them unless they are white. Which is just a color. Nothing more. The color of one's skin is just as insignificant as the size of one's nose. Just because I have a small, round nose does not mean I will not date men with big, long noses, or whatever. If you do not want to date a black or Arab man, that is on you. You are already grown, and if you want your mind and heart to be blocked by one's appearance, that is your business. But do not influence your daughter. And also, you are of Irish and Italian heritage. I guess you could say you are mixed with 'white' and 'beige', so is that a problem? Why would skin color and ethnicity differ, since there are high yellow and ink black Arabs?
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Name : Nicole20040, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 19, City : Washington, DC, State : NA Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower class, As recently as the time of your own grandparents, Italians used to be considered another 'race' (which is a fraudulent idea with no scientific backing, by the way) that were not 'white', and so many people refused to let their daughters date or marry them. Arab or Arabic is not a 'race', it is a culture with members as light as Marlo Thomas and as dark as Anwar Sadat. For that matter some Americans considered 'black' are lighter than some Italians. Who is darker, Colin Powell or Al Pacino? Whatever gave you the idea that people of mixed backgrounds or in 'mixed' relationships are hopelessly confused? There are tens of millions of us just in this country alone, and I think as a group we cope better with the issue of racism than most so-called 'pure' people. You seem to be using your daughter as an excuse for your own feelings, with no evidence whatsoever that she would be harmed by such relationships. Who you date is your own choice of course, but let's hope you don't pass your own irrational fears to her. If you were to openly verbalize what you have said here to her, the message you would send to her would itself be very confusing: mixing is OK for other people, but you and I better not. Somehow your own parents overcame the same fears you have, the only question is: why didn't you?
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Name : ACC25073, Race : Mexican and American Indian, City : Phoenix, State : AZ Country : United States, as a 16 yr old white female i think that it is ok for you to date someone of a different race. if you really like the person then go for it. the color of the person shouldnt stop you from something that could turn out to be the best thing for you.
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Name : Megan, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 16, City : bellmawr, State : NJ Country : United States, Occupation : highschool student, Social class : Middle class, I think I understand part of your concern. I have dated interacially since my teens. I just happened to marry and divorce a black man and raised my daughter on my own. It did change the scope of my dating choices, especially those who were fortunate enough to be allowed to meet her. I allowed very few men to get that close. However, there was a conscious effort to be considerate when introducing people to her. I wanted to make sure that she had the 'skills' necessary to answer up to anyone else's questions. We do live in a racially charged world. I knew I had done my job, when she was showing pictures of an outting to one of her friends and the friend exclaimed 'He's White!' My daughter said 'No, He's Mike' LOL. My point is I wanted her to know that a person is not just a color but a nice person regardless, however I did want her to be at an age where she could be confident and field any negativity that came her way. Her preference now? Any man who treats her with respect, dignity, honor and well--none of which are color based!
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Name : Serene28048, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 43, City : Chandler, State : AZ Country : United States, Occupation : Business Owner, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, I'm a black female with two children. I have dated outside my race and have no problem with others who do or don't. My dad is bi-racial and I have many uncles and aunts and cousins who have no black features. Back when my father was growing up he told us horrible stories of being bi-racial. Today it's more torlerabe by others so kids have a lot less prejudice to go through. I personally wouldn't have kids by a person outside my race, not even if I was married to him. But one never knows. We all bleed the color red.
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Name : amanda31509, City : chgo, State : IL Country : United States, I am a black woman and have just ended a 6yr marriage to a white man, we have one son. I, personally, choose now to date within my race only because I feel I need a change of scenery... but that's the choice that I make and like you I condem no one for making the chouce to date in their own race or outside, to each his own. However, your decision, I think, should be based on what you feel is right for you... if you;ve raised your daughter to bean open-minded thinker I don't think there's cause to be concered about confusing her. Kids can adjust amazingly well when they've been taugh that people are basicly the same and that skin color dosen't matter. Good luck to you in whatever you do
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Name : Kathy, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Age : 26, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, Hello, You stated that your daughter may have some confusion if you dated an African-American or an Arabian man..... why would she be confused? What would she be confused about? No matter what the race is of a man that you date, you must be sure that your daughter's interest are met. The man must be good to you and to her. There are good men in all races and there are bad men in all races. You need to figure out what you and your daughter need in a husband / father. Or are you just looking for someone to hang out with?
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Name : E Henderson, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : African Methodist Episcopalian, Age : 37, City : Oakland, State : CA Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, okay, well you are already irish and italian, and many people would consider that mixed already, seeing as most ethnic italians are much darker than the irish. as for the confusion of your daughter, what confusion are you exactly worried about? that you're daughter, assuming she is white, will become confused as yo her ethinic heritage if you happen to date a black or hispanic man, for instance. Are you worried that your daughter will forget she is white? honey, give your daughter some credit here. i have never heard of a black child mistaking themselves for white, or vice versa. children are very much aware of the differneces between them and others and i dont think your child would become confused at all.
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Name : marijke, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : white/asian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 18, City : chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, Really - I thank God probably every day, that I'm multi-racial. On one hand, I think well... I didn't actually DO anything, but I guess that's just one of the many benefits - being brought up, wholly naturally, with a bit more of an open mind. I'm half Italian, half Pakistani. The Italian side of my family (mothers) refused to accept my father, who was a very hard-working, normal, all around nice guy. But he wasn't Catholic, he wasn't European, he wasn't white, he wasn't Christian, and just didn't 'fit the cut'. I would have loved to have my Italian relatives actually care that they have nieces and nephews, and a wonderful brother-in-law. But as a child of parents from different cultures/races - the plusses by far, outnumber the negatives. If you question being in a mixed-race relationship because of your daughter, you shouldn't. Every mixed person I know, is by far thankful for it. The effect it would have on you, is another question. But again, speaking from the daughter of mixed parents - I'm very thankful for the fact.
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Name : anonymous23711, Gender : F, Age : 22, City : Washington DC, State : DC Country : United States, How would dating outside your ethnic group confuse your daughter? Would she get confused by the hostility that some narrow-minded people would direct towards you all as you walked down the street holding hands? You explain that by telling them that some people choose to live in ignorance. Would she be confused that you and your lover's skin tones don't exactly match? You explain that by simply stating that everyone don't exactly look alike. Your daughter would hopefully learn that her mother has feelings for another person despite their differences. Love is colorblind. The fact that your lover would be of another ethnic group is irrelevent. What she would most of all learn is that there are many great people in the world independent of his/her ethnicity and how it would be a shame to rule out an individual b/c of a different skin tone.
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Name : nashyel, Gender : M, Race : Black/African American, Religion : New Age/Metaphysical, Age : 30, City : San Antonio, State : TX Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, If you don't have to date who you don't want to. It's that simple. However, I think it would be a bad thing if you were to treat those who are of mixed race or are in mixed relationships negatively on that basis alone. But it seems like from what you've written that you are far from that category.
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Name : Bruce19294, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Asian, Age : 27, City : Farmington, State : CT Country : United States, Occupation : medical student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, I date outside my race because people are just people. I don't think the color skin has anything to do with anything. Culture and belief does. Being caucasian, I can see myself dating just about ANYONE...but I don't think I could handle dating someone who had diabolically different beliefs and values than I do. If someone of a different race had differing ideas than me, I probably wouldn't date him...but it wouldn't be because of the color of his skin.
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Name : A.R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Humanist, Age : 30, City : Astoria, State : NY Country : United States, Occupation : Actor, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, 
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