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DARE TO ASK: The truth about waste in space

By PHILLIP MILANO

Question

How are astronauts’ bodily wastes handled when orbiting?

Paul H., 39, Jacksonville

Replies

Vacuum pressure moves the waste to a collection tank. For liquid waste each astronaut has a private collector, like a funnel that attaches to a vacuum hose. For obvious reasons, the system has check valves to prevent backup. The sink is a plastic bubble that the user places hands into, foot pedals operate the water and soap, and vacuum pressure moves that waste water into collection bilges.

C., 38, male, Pontiac, Mich.

The storage container is emptied externally – I would assume back on the ground for the spacesuit model, but who knows for the shuttles and space station.

Ann, 39, Kansas City, Mo.

Experts say

We normally don’t do politics at Dare to Ask, but we waited, and waited, and waited, for this topic to come up during the campaign season, and no one spoke up. Not a peep.

So in the interest of public service, even though we now must wait until 2008 for movement on this controversy, here is a brief white paper on (No. 1) the relevant talking points, and (No. 2) the technical “how it’s done” details – the latter of which come from NASA spokesman Robert Mirelson.

The environment: Oh sure, Democrats and Greens talk a good game about global warming, but where have they been on this travesty? Yes, some solid waste from the International Space Station gets compacted and sent home on the Space Shuttle for disposal, but some gets jettisoned on a Progress Supply Vehicle, which re-enters our atmosphere and burns up over the Pacific Ocean. Just the thought of all that “material” crossing anywhere near our ozone layer at 18,000 miles per hour . . . pray for our children and our children’s children.

Astronaut abuse: Shouldn’t everyone be up in arms about this? Picture our men and women in silver, subjected to wearing “super-Depends” type diapers as they boldly go where no one has gone before while spacewalking. We realize they can’t take a break and just come in from the cold, but please, NASA, no ill-timed video feeds.

The deficit: The GOP doesn’t get off easy, either. If the country had to go on a spending spree and run up such a huge debt, couldn’t we at least have created a space-waste system that doesn’t force astronauts to drink their own urine? We know water takes up a lot of space, and that all liquid on space trips – even sweat – gets distilled for re-use, but how ’bout a few bucks for the Culligan man to tag along with some extra jugs of fresh H20?

Privacy: Let’s not leave out the Libertarians, who preach so much about our personal freedoms. Why haven’t they protested the cameras used inside astronauts’ toilet bowls, which help ’em “line things up,” so to speak, so that everything goes to the right place when they strap into their “Zero G” pressurized, vacuum toilets? (Don’t believe us? Go to edspace.nasa.gov/livespace/gottago.html)

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