Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences By PHILLIP MILANO
Question
I have a co-worker who cannot get off his cell phone. He’s been counseled twice by management but still constantly talks on it while working. What is his problem?
Alma, 51, Kempner, Texas
Replies
He’s a moron who won’t take “no” for an answer.
Lisa, 39, Fort Worth, Texas
Maybe it is obsessive-compulsive disorder. But . . . it could be something much more mundane, like being an – -.
Wayne, 43, Parsippany, N.J.
It seems to be an issue best left to management and Mr. Cell Phone.
Charlie, 54, Tampa
He’s too damn popular. Or he’s selling drugs. Maybe he just talks to himself a lot and holds a cell phone to his ear so people don’t think he’s mentally disturbed.
Taz, 33, Detroit
Do something every day for 30 days and it creates a neuron connection (habit) inside your brain.
Joe, 23, Houston
Comment on his conversations so he knows you’re familiar with his personal business. This may not end it but may get him out of your area.
MTM, 44, female, Northville, Mich.
If it bothers you, say something to him. If not, ignore it.
Missletile, Grand Rapids, Mich.
Folks who constantly talk on the cell phone have a need to feel important. They are saying “Look at me – someone wants to speak to me!” It is quite sad.
Annie, 49, Philadelphia
In this day and age where almost any behavior, no matter how inconsequential, violates someone else to some tiny little degree, now here you come because a co-worker is on the phone too much. My question is what is your problem?
Blake, 48, Fayetteville, N.C.
Unless he is a telemarketer, tell him to turn it off or get fired.
John, Vancouver, Wash.
Expert says
Let’s talk (not text) about the difference between addictions and compulsions.
Addictions give a person a sense of pleasure, letting them escape from worries, said Monnica T. Williams, assistant professor of clinical psychology at the University of Pennsylvania’s Center for the Treatment and Study of Anxiety.
Technology can fan the flames of a person’s addiction, such as a computer adding gasoline to someone’s porn fire, or, in this case, a cell phone whipping a person’s relationship addiction into a frenzy by giving them easy, immediate access to others, Williams said.
But she wonders whether someone can actually become addicted to cell phone use itself and is skeptical of such a diagnosis.
Compulsions, on the other hand, are not something to be enjoyed; they merely give a person relief from anxiety.
In that sense, it’s more likely that when a cell phone is over-used, the person is dealing with a compulsion for checking on things, or is pathologically indecisive, she said.
“Absolutely . . . I would say I’ve seen compulsion with cell phones grow as cell phones have become more affordable,” Williams said. “Cell phones seem to be an issue for people with OCD [obsessive-compulsive disorder].”
For example, a person may have a need to repeatedly check loved ones’ well-being, and become attached to a cell phone.
“People with OCD may have fears about anything, though, so a way to cope is to get reassurance from other people. For example, I had a patient who was worried about being contaminated from clothes. She’d call a friend and ask, ‘Is it OK for me to go into the store?’ and the friend would say it’s fine.”
Treatment can include behavior therapy to wean the person from the cell phone, or prescribing medication – although Williams encourages therapy first because it can provide longer-lasting gains.
“OCD can come out in many ways,” she said. “If you think you have a problem, get assessed by someone specializing in it. It’s not just about hand-washing or checking things.”