[RaphaelS.]

Pay close attention to what Darnell Hunt said. I believe he is right on the money. Sure, Denzel is in a lot of movies, but he is rarely portrayed as an actual romantic partner. In The Pelican Brief, there was clearly sexual tension between him and the female protagonist, but they were never allowed to actually hook up. If he had been white, it would have been a no-brainer that they would have been in bed before the end of the film. He is "safely" placed only with black women, which is not bad in and of itself, but the reality is that interracial relationships are very prevalent now but still rarely portrayed on the big screen. Black men are sexualized but not romanticized. The way we are portrayed on screen helps perpetuate stereotypes. I think Spike Lee's movies during the 80s and 90s actually contributed to the problem, because he has also never made any secret of his belief that interracial relationships are wrong -- so he portrayed the sexual situations but always had something bad happen as a result. He never allowed interracial love to blossom and the couple to have a happy ending together. One movie that I believe was pioneering in this subject matter was Anaconda. I will never forget that the first time I saw it, I was surprised that Ice Cube actually got the girl (Jennifer Lopez) in the end. This movie was unusual for its time, as the black guy survived to the end, came out the hero, AND got the girl. Normally when white people create the movies, the black character is one of the first to die, and he definitely doesn't get the girl. Even though the movie wasn't exactly Oscar quality and won't be highly remembered for much, this one thing still stuck in my mind, because it showed that Hollywood was becoming more open-minded about these things. I have also noticed that they are just now beginning to portray interracial relationships in commercials. This is something that for a very long time I would NEVER see, up until very recently. These are things that most people probably don't even notice, but they influence us on a subconscious level and should not be underestimated. I think I am particularly sensitive to these things because I am in an interracial marriage, and we deal with prejudice from many different types of people, including my own. Our marriage is very loving, so it will survive the ignorance of the people around us, but I think Hollywood and the images spewed at us by our media help contribute to a lot of people's false perceptions.

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Name : RaphaelS., Gender : M, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Baltimore, State : MD Country : United States, Occupation : Web Developer, Social class : Middle class, 

[RaphaelS.]

From a man's point of view... I am married to my best friend, a woman who innately understands me very well, with little or no explanation. Needless to say, she has a very good relationship with not only her father, but also her brothers. I totally believe that, just as a man's ability to have a healthy relationship can be gauged by his relationship with Mom, a woman's ability to have healthy relationships with the opposite sex is strongly influenced by the men in her family. When I look back on past relationships before I met my wife, it seems that the women I had the most problems with had either 1) an absent father, or 2) a father that she disliked or hated. What I find especially interesting is that they would say I reminded them of their father (a bad guy), just as my wife says I remind her of HER father (a good guy)! The conclusion I have drawn is that if you don't like Daddy, you also won't like your boyfriend/hubby -- even though you may not see this or admit it to yourself on a conscious level. On the flip side, if you LOVE Daddy, then you are more apt to love your significant other the way that he deserves to be loved. I'm no psychologist, but I have drawn this conclusion from my own personal experiences. I will even take it a step further and use my own mother as an example. Her father was killed in a car accident when she was just four years old. Her stepfather also died when she was a teenager. But even though both father figures were a part of her life only briefly, they both were very loving toward their children/stepchildren, and her memories of both men were positive. My mom is still married to my dad after 40+ years. Although they have had a few rough spots, it's still pretty clear to me that they love each other very much. So ladies, if you are finding you are having a lot of trouble in your relationships, this may be something worth looking into. As with anything else, the more you are willing to be honest with yourself, the greater your opportunity for improvement and success. :-)

User Detail :  

Name : RaphaelS., Gender : M, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Baltimore, State : MD Country : United States, Occupation : Web Developer, Social class : Middle class, 

[RaphaelS.]

I lean toward thinking that people generally choose as long-term partners someone that already favors them in looks. I also agree that when you are very compatible, you tend to spend a lot of time together, do similar things, and eat the same things -- so this would also cause you to look more alike. My wife and I have been together for five and a half years. She is of German-Irish descent and has bright red hair and fair skin. I am of African and Native American descent and have medium-dark skin. However, if you were to totally disregard our hair and skin color, you would see that our other physical features are very similar. We both have large, sort of pointy noses, high cheekbones, and big heads. We are almost exactly the same height (she's taller by a little less than half an inch), we are both very slender in build, and both of us have big feet. I suspect that when we have kids, it will be hard to figure out which one of us they look like. LOL

User Detail :  

Name : RaphaelS., Gender : M, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Baltimore, State : MD Country : United States, Occupation : Web Developer, Social class : Middle class, 

[RaphaelS.]

It is a relief to find someone like Roger of SC, who is open-minded and objective regarding this subject. Just last night, I was posting and reading an online message board. The topic was the NBA brawl that occurred several days ago. It saddened and amazed me just how many people, both black and white, resorted to using racial namecalling and stereotyping to express their opinions. There is still a LOT of hatred in our society -- it's just gone more underground than it was 50 years ago. I do dispute Roger's statistics that state black men are more likely to commit crimes. Before I would believe it, I would first ask whether they have tested a cross-section of socioeconomic backgrounds. It seems reasonable that a black man who grew up in a slum would be more likely to commit a crime than a black man who grew up in the 'burbs, because his environment is more about surviving from day to day and doing what he feels he must do just to take care of his most basic needs. He also may not have the parental influence you might expect from a guy that was blessed with a few more things in life. Conversely, I would also expect a white male who grew up disadvantaged to be just as likely to commit crimes as a black man in a similar situation. So -- if you are to compare black and white, compare them on equal levels, then see what the statistical results are. Last, I would also expect that black males are more often targeted by law enforcement for arrests. Recent studies by the NAACP and the ACLU suggest this to be true (racial profiling). I believe it, because I was once stopped by a cop who ADMITTED that he stopped me because I was black. But I had no recourse in court, because in this state, police can run your tags without any probable cause. It turned out there was a problem with my license that I did not even know about until after he stopped me. However, it still angers me to know that if I had been white, he would never have even bothered to check.

User Detail :  

Name : RaphaelS., Gender : M, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Baltimore, State : MD Country : United States, Occupation : Web Developer, Social class : Middle class, 

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