Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences 
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- I've only traveled to London twice, spending a week each time. But I have noticed a few things to offer a limited opinion. First, I think the levels of racism and xenophobia are pretty much equal between the British and Americans. But what amazed and shocked me about the British I encountered was the blatant nature of the racism. Granted, people in Chicago, and the rest of the US for that matter, have been known to guard their purses and wallets a little more closely around Blacks. But in London they have an almost frightening reaction to encountering a Black person on the subway or the street. I lost track of the number of times their clutched their belongings with fervor unmatched here in the U.S. at the mere sight of me standing there, even burdened with a huge suitcase hanging on one shoulder and a large backpack behind me.I was regaled with a story of the 'pushiness' of Jews by a shop owner on the other side of the Tower Bridge, leaving me to wonder what she would say about me when I left. I have been nearly 30 yards away from people while walking the path through Regents Park to the zoo, glanced over that considerable distance and seen people respond to my mere look by clutching their hand over their Walkmans to (apparently) prevent me from leaping Superman-like over that great distance, stealing their radio and flying away, I suppose. I have read the papers about a 'steaming' incident where teens flooded a train brandishing a knife robbing riders, and the article sought to make it clear the assailants were Black, while an adjacent article on the more than 300 incidents of drunken bar brawls and assaults on one night in the London area failed to mention the fact that the assailants were white. As for xenophobia, the sports sections of the newspapers were filled with articles about the exploits of the British participants at Wimbledon, but very little about the players favored to win the whole thing: Pete Sampras and Venus Williams. The newspages of the various papers I read had very little on news from the rest of the world, content instead to a series of articles on why the Royal Family didn't attend the opening of a kids playground dedicated to the late Princess Di. The one place where I felt completely at ease and was treated as just another human was Notting Hill, and particularly Portobello Road. I realize that America is far from perfect but its faults are equalled, and in some cases, surpassed, by England.
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Name : Ken, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Catholic, Age : 32, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : marketing, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,You've got to be kidding. A calm, sit-down, brain-storming session with members of the KKK? A group that has been responsible for the deaths of thousands of people throughout the years, simply because they are of a different color or belief? A group that, for the most part, wants the removal of every minority group from U.S. soil, through one means or another? A group that distributes literature that promotes the most hate-filled, vicious and false stereotypes available? Sorry, but I don't think reasoning with them is going to get any positive results. They have had ample time and opportunity to read and discuss their 'problem' with those of other groups and perhaps come to understand that we all must live in this country together if it is to survive. Yet they still choose to vilify and attack anyone who doesn't look like them. Because they haven't changed their tune in the hundreds of years since their existance, people know what they are going to say, and they haven't disappointed yet. In fact, the 'reformed' David Duke was on television the other night, and he sounded just like the 'old' David Duke. I have yet to hear a member of the KKK plead for peace and understanding between the races. You're right, the shouting does seem kind of pointless. I'm in favor of simply ignoring them, and that goes for the media, too, whose presence gives them what they crave: Attention and the chance to promote their 'cause.' Sorry, but the KKK's stance is pretty predictable by now and shows no sign of changing.User Detail :
Name : Ken, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Catholic, Age : 32, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : marketing, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Well I wear them for some of the reasons mentioned above, as well as a few others. There's the old auto accident theory (you know, mom always warned you to wear clean underwear in case you get into an accident) which prevents unnecessary embarassment at the hands of paramedics. There's the problem of rashes from rough fabrics like denim. And there's the problem of, um, "undisguised arousal" which could be prevented by well-fitting underwear which can keep everything in check.User Detail :
Name : Ken, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Catholic, Age : 32, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : marketing, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Are you familiar with DMX, Li'l Kim, Big Pun or Nase? If you are sitting there scratching your head, unfamiliar with any of those names, you should know that they are some of the biggest names in music (not just rap) today. Does that make you sheltered?Everyone has different tastes in music. I couldn't tell you the name of five New Age artists, but I don't think that makes me sheltered. I just don't have a real interest in it. Hence, I don't pay attention to the goings on in that field of music. Your young co-worker isn't interested in the rock bands you described. But he is only 20 and young people tend to have a more myopic view of the world (I know I did). Give him some time, and while you're at it, ask him to let you listen to some of his music. You might pick up a few things as well.
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Name : Ken, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Catholic, Age : 32, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : marketing, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I think, first of all, it may have something to do with geography. In some parts of this country (and the world, for that matter) no one really gives it that much thought. Interracial dating, while still something of an oddity (as compared to the rest of the dating population) is not seen as an earth-shaking development and is just a casual, matter-of-fact thing. In Jacksonville, however, it may still have a stigma attached to it, and that makes it an out-of-the-ordinary, eye-catching thing. Because of the climate of the area, you might be more attuned to it and notice it more than, say the number of white men who date Asian or Hispanic women, the numbers of which may be just as great. Secondly, the media may have a lot to do with the desire of some men and women to date interracially, particularly in the case of black-white relationships. Through television commercials, beauty pageants and even kids toys (don't forget Barbie), the idea that white American women are the end-all and be-all of beauty is perpetrated daily, even hourly. On television commercials for beauty products, white women are glorified; in almost every television program the female lead is usually young and white. Only now are African American, Asian or Hispanic women being featured in those outlets, and even then their numbers are few. And when you are bombarded with images that tell you that 'white is beautiful' and all else pales in comparison, it naturally becomes desireable. Your last statement is very telling: The guys you overheard didn't ask if there were any 'beautiful' white women at the club, just if there were white women. If doesn't matter what they look like. They, according to the media, are the pinnacle.User Detail :
Name : Ken, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Catholic, Age : 32, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : marketing, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,For the same reason Asian have the features they have, and Native Americans have the features they have, and Hispanics have the features they have, etc. Every ethnicity has some special feature that makes them, well, that particular ethnicity. A lot of whites have features I find unique to them as well: Larger, bony noses; thin necks, big ears.. Right now, you're probably saying, "Hey, we don't all have those features." Well, guess what? We don't, either. Does Colin Powell have large lips? Does Kobe Bryant have a broad, flat nose? C'mon, look around.User Detail :
Name : Ken, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Catholic, Age : 32, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : marketing, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,If you're coming out of the sun, chances are you are probably sweating. And sweat on anyone, whatever the race, doesn't necessarily smell good. I used to write sports for a newspaper and went into many a locker room. Trust me, a sweaty 330-pound white lineman does not smell good when he comes out of the sun.User Detail :
Name : Ken, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Catholic, Age : 32, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : marketing, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I believe they do it because they can. For years, whites have made blacks the butt of a lot of their jokes. From minstrel shows to early comic strips to the Our Gang comedies to Amos and Andy to Rochester to J.J. from Good Times, blacks and their supposed mannerisms and actions and dialects have been fodder for jokes. Blacks have been directly addressing humor at the expense of white people only since the '60s (at least that is my estimate, taking into account people like Dick Gregory). Imagine Damon Wayons making his jokes in the 40s. He'd have been blackballed from the stage, if not outright killed. So now, the pendulum has swung the other way, and sorry to say, you have to listen to some of the humor now.Incidentially, if you don't think whites are making jokes at the expense of blacks today, look at such white-produced crap like "Homeboys From Outer Space" or the Jackie Childs character from Seinfield. Yes, I know Childs was based on Johnnie Cochran, but how far removed was that character from Kingfish on Amos and Andy?
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Name : Ken, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Catholic, Age : 32, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : marketing, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,There are Miss White America contests, only they aren't called that. Whenever they crown a Miss St. Patrick's Day parade queen, a Pulaski Day parade queen, a Columbus Day queen, that is a "Miss White America" pageant. And if you ask some people, the Miss America Pageant itself is a "Miss White America" contest, Vanessa Williams notwithstanding. When there is a Miss Black America contest, they are honoring African-American heritage, not simply skin color. Your idea of a Miss White America contest sounds like you just want to honor someone simply on the basis of their white skin. White is not an ethnic group; Polish is, Irish is, African American is, Hispanic is. It was called the Miss Black America pageant because that was the term used to describe the racial group at the time the pageant was created. If you want to honor your ethnicity, fine. If you want to honor someone because of the color of their skin, a semi-random configuration of DNA, then I might find that strange.User Detail :
Name : Ken, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Catholic, Age : 32, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : marketing, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,For one, the rebel flag represents a region and time in our nation's history associated with slavery and the pain and suffering it has caused generations of African Americans. You may see it as simply a pretty design, but many blacks see it as the representation of an era of servitude, lynching, the selling of human beings like cattle, murders, etc. It is not an era that black Americans hold dear, and seeing that symbol brings up that anger.Secondly, that flag is regularly used by hate groups such as the Ku Klux Klan, an organization not exactly known for its racial tolerance. When they make comments that are derogatory toward blacks, Jews and other racial groups while waving that flag, the words and images become one. I don't know how you feel about other races, but when you display that flag, especially tattooed onto your skin permanently, you can expect people to assume you think along the same lines as the Ku Klux Klan. As an example, some women may be offended by a man with a nude woman tattooed on his arm. They may assume that he's a bit of a chauvinist (and he may be) and become offended by that.
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Name : Ken, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Catholic, Age : 32, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : marketing, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I think the responses to my query kind of missed the point. I wasn't saying that women like to shop and men don't. If you read it again, I was just asking if there is a difference in the way men and women shop. If anyone would like to repsond to that aspect again, please do.User Detail :
Name : Ken, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Catholic, Age : 32, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : marketing, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,When the merchants see someone who looks well-to-do, they assume they have a lot of money to spend. So they cater more to them in the hopes they'll part with some of that cash. If they think a person doesn't have $500 to spend on a two-ounce bottle of perfume, they won't "waste their time." That's a stupid assumption. Sam Walton used to drive around in a dirty pick-up truck with overalls and work boots, and if he walked into a store, I doubt if he would be asked if he wanted to sample cologne. They would have no idea, however, that as the owner of Wal-Mart he was worth billions. Their loss.User Detail :
Name : Ken, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Catholic, Age : 32, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : marketing, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Like John, I don't understand this aspect of female behavior, either. If you are wearing a short skirt (and I mean a short skirt, not one that comes to just above the knees) then logic would have it that you are displaying your legs, because such a skirt cannot be comfortable or practical. When a woman wears a blouse or dress that has a low-plunging neckline, with clevage exposed, then it seems to me that she is accentuating a part of her body she feels is worth displaying in such a manner. High heels were designed by men to accentuate female calves, considered a sensous part of the body, and from the look of them and the way some women walk in them, they cannot be comfortable, so what conclusion should one draw? Tight pants and dresses cannot be comfortable, so I can't think of too many reasons a woman would wear them, other than to accentuate different parts of her body.If a woman, or any person for that matter, wanted to dress to "please" herself, then why not wear more loose-fitting clothes, which seem to be infinitely more comfortable? There are so many other options in clothing, for both sexes, that I can only draw one conclusion about a woman who wears shorts skirts, high spike heels and a form-fitting top: She is trying to appear attractive to a member of the opposite (or in some cases same) sex. And why is there something wrong in admitting that? Some men do it as well. Do you think men who wear tight, crotch-hugging pants and shirts unbuttoned to mid-chest do so because it makes them feel good about themselves? Because they feel comfortable? I don't think so.
Why can't we just admit that, like some species of animals (of which we are one) we like to spruce up our appearance for the sake of drawing attention to ourselves?
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Name : Ken, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Catholic, Age : 32, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : marketing, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I don't think it's a question of men being 'better' at suppressing their emotions. I think both sexes are emotional. It's just that men are taught not to show their emotions, or at least specific emotions, that much. I could just as easily ask why women aren't as aggressive as men. It's not that they aren't as aggressive, it's that they have been taught (even in this 'more liberal' age) not to be aggressive. Not to yell and scream and get mad and get into fights and such, lest they be called 'pushy' or worse, 'bitchy.'Men are permitted to be emotional as long as that emotion is aggression in some form. Men are not told it is OK to cry or be afraid, lest they be labeled 'weak.' And believe me, in private, they do cry and all of that.
So it's not that men aren't as emotional. It's that in this society, we are told to suppress certain emotions.
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Name : Ken, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Catholic, Age : 32, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : marketing, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,My definitely unscientific theory is that the reason some men think that way is that some women play up that stereotype. There are more than a few 'beautiful' women (and I'm sure you know a couple) who have been told all their lives how good-looking they are and discovered their looks have gotten them a lot of attention and things they want, moreso than their brains. I have seen 'beautiful' women use that shy, coy, 'Oh, gee, I don't know how this works, help me you big, strong man' stuff to get their way. So I guess men are just responding to what they have seen and heard. And other 'beautiful' women who are intelligent, funny, etc. suffer for it. I wonder if some women think 'good-looking' men are kind of dense as well...User Detail :
Name : Ken, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Catholic, Age : 32, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : marketing, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,
