[Anna]

Darlin', women are like night and day. Some of them, I'm sure, don't like any artificial smells. Some probably like the stuff poured on. I'd say a consensus among my girlfriends and I would be as follows:

Be clean generally - clean teeth, clean hair, clean feet. .. clean HANDS.
Generally men's deodorant is designed to smell good. To us. So go for it. Also a consensus: Old Spice is good.
Cologne is unnecessary, but not necessarily unwanted. It should be good quality, used sparingly ... and maybe most importantly, used far enough in advance to give it time to blend in with your smell, because that's the real point. Pity the man who has no scent whatsoever. That's what we really want, just a "you"-smell.

Good luck. And if she buys you cologne ... wear it. Duh! You have no idea how many guys don't get this.

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Name : Anna, Gender : F, City : Rutland, State : VT Country : United States, Social class : Middle class, 

[Anna]

I don't think I would say that women are 'obsessed' with a great body on a guy. Did you have an experience that made you feel this way? I think when women get together in a gaggle (like we dooo) there's a tendency to be very, mm, what a great behind, damn look at those pecs, viggo this brad that... but in a way that is comparable to the way men would view good looking women when the men are in one of their gaggles. In addition, there are lots of grunting, bulky gym rats that are a huge turn off. I think that a better way to attract women than lifting weights is to dress 'nicely,' exude confidence, and don't generalize about what women want.

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Name : Anna, Gender : F, City : Rutland, State : VT Country : United States, Social class : Middle class, 

[Anna]

you have my sympathies! I grew up in New Hampshire and moved to Atlanta my first year of high school, then back the following year. it was easily the most difficult, painful thing i've ever done. i think probably a big piece of what you're dealing with is just culture shock in general. moves are hard under the best of circumstances, but i think north to south has to be one of the most extreme contrasts in culture. the stress of that, combined with homesickness, tends to create a sort of antagonistism towards the new setting. I had the same problem when I moved to Atlanta. I hated everyone we met at first, they seemed to candy-coat their bullshit with this gross fake niceness. i despised it, i hated how no one seemed real. but after a while, after you've met lots of different people, i think the ratio of awful people to neat people works out to be roughly the same in most places. and the neat might be different than the neat in the place where you came from, but that's good. and the awful might seem more awful than the place where you came from... but it's easy to idealize old homes, old comforts and familiarities. your kids might be finding this out in school. i adjusted a lot quicker with a huge pool of people to tap into than my father, who worked, and my mother, who never worked and never adjusted. The last thing, though, is that I'm not sure how rural Canton is, and that might play a big role in seeing eye-to-eye or understanding norms. And it's possible that people are treating you differently because you're a 'Yank?' Atlanta is pretty cosmopolitan, but even there there's lots of latent anti-northern sentiment. I guess my final response boils down to two parts: first, give yourself some credit for how difficult it is to move. let it be difficult, allow yourself to be sad and frustrated and struggling (just dont stay there...). and then... don't stick 'southerners' onto every jerk you encounter. jerks will be jerks, but i'm sure there are lots of neat people where you are, too. maybe finding some would help you adjust. (hobby clubs, book groups, etc, blah blah) and good luck! really i identify so strongly with your difficulties, my heart goes out to you. i hope any of this helped in even the smallest way.

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Name : Anna, Gender : F, City : Rutland, State : VT Country : United States, Social class : Middle class, 

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