Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 11 replies, 12 voices, and was last updated 16 years ago by
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- I was adopted as an infant, as was my brother. I was shocked when my English professor took me to task for writing a 'What if' paper as if I had already met my birth mother. His exact words were 'Why on Earth would you embarrass yourself and your family by revealing such a shameful secret?' I have always known I was adopted, and while some kids were unkind, I never thought of adoption as shameful. I have since learned that many people think of adoption as shameful. Why?
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Name : Ricci, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Disability : Paralyzed, Race : Unknown race, Religion : Bits of all religions, Age : 27, City : Denver, State : CA Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Point Blank, your Professor was an idiot. I dont know anyone who think of adoption as shameful, some say stupid things like 'your real parents', but I dont know anyone who finds it shameful. Personally Id report the idiot.User Detail :
Name : Calvin19208, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 40, City : Cleveland, State : OH Country : United States, Occupation : Sales Manger, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,All I can say is that your English teacher was COMPLETELY out of line! What an insensitive ass. If I were you, I would report this outrageous, offensive and hateful behavior to the dean of your school. Who knows how many other people he has hurt by behaving like an idiot? As for people thinking that adoption is shameful, I have never encountered such a thing. I myself am not adopted, but I have family members who are, and no one I have ever spoken with has indicated that they think adoption is a bad thing on anyone's part. As someone who was basically shuttled around between relatives as a kid, let me say that you and your brother are absolutely blessed to have parents who love you and care about you, and who elected to bring you into their home. God bless them!User Detail :
Name : Melody, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 40, City : Kansas City, State : MO Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College,Although I wasn't adopted, I was in foster care. When I was asked to write a family paper about my family, it was assumed that I lived with my parents, and that I was dependent upon them, ass with most college students. Whenever I told anybody that I was in foster care, either people instantly felt sorry for me and treated me like a lost puppy. One person even told me 'If I were you, I wouldn't say that around some of there rich people on campus.' I don't know why is it shameful on your part, but I can see it as concievably shameful towards the parent who put you up for adoption. There is a well known news story about a custody battle out right now (as of January 2005)User Detail :
Name : Peter, Gender : M, Race : Black/African American, Age : 20, City : Jacksonville, State : FL Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,Ricci, Adoption is not shameful and shame on those who make you feel that it is. I am a 44 year old adoptee. I have never felt that being adopted defined me. I was adopted at age 6 months, and aside from the fact that I came into my family in a 'different' way, once it occurred, we were a family just like any other. I have encountered more than my share of uninformed people, who think I must be some how be wounded by the experience, or who just don't get it. I am a librarian and the library I work in has an 'adopt a book' program. We were recently asked to change the name because it was 'offensive' and compared children to books or dogs from a pound. Please! The person who complained was well meaning, but really way off base.User Detail :
Name : Jenny, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 44, City : Red Creek, State : NY Country : United States, Occupation : Library Director, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper class,My opinion, people see being adopted as shameful because it insinuates that there is 'something wrong with you' because you're birth parents 'didn't want you.' That is ENTIRELY FALSE. Your prof. had absolutely no right to say that to you, and frankly, I would go to the board with that! Adoption is a WONDERFUL process. It means that your birth mother loved you enough to let you go and fulfill a better life that she felt she couldn't give you. Then it means your adoptive mother wanted you so much, she would go through anything to get you. It's a win/win situation. Giving up your child is the hardest thing to do, any mother who is selfless enough to do so shouldn't be considered a 'bad mom.' At least she didn't murder you by abortion, like so many people do. Don't be embarrassed or ashamed that you are adopted, it just means you have 2 sets of parents who love you dearly, even if you've never met.User Detail :
Name : Susan21459, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 29, City : Northville, State : MI Country : United States, Social class : Upper middle class,Personally, I have never felt, or heard, adoption reffered to as shameful. To me, it sounds as if this professor has some seriouse issues to work out with a therapist. There might have been a stigma attached in years past, as many unwed mothers had to give their child up for adoption. So adopted children became the children of 'degenerates' to some. Unfortunetly, rape and incest are also a common cause for giving a child up for adoption. So some might decide such a person was less 'validated' as 'pure' then others. But in this day and age, considering everything going on in the world, I cannot understand how anyone could come to such a conclusion.User Detail :
Name : aysha, Gender : F, Age : 27, City : Ammon, State : ID Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College,I have no idea why anyone would be embarassed by it. I wish more people would consider adoption, especially of older children(as opposed to solely looking for infants to adopt)User Detail :
Name : Ty24265, City : chicago, State : IL Country : United States,I'm appalled. Your English teacher is an idiot. I don't think it's shameful, and I don't know anyone who does. The 2 people I know who were adopted didn't think so either. I think you should bring it to the dean.User Detail :
Name : Ryan26573, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Buddhist, Age : 29, City : Santa Barbara, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Grant Writer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,This is a hard one to explain. The idea often originates in people who assume all kids given up for adoption are 'unwanted'. And thus must be 'tainted' otherwise a birth mother would have kept the child. As you know this simply isn't true. They are wanted by someone, their adopted mother. The other reason it could be considered 'embarassing' is that it may be that someone is adopted because the adoptive parents are infertile. Know that they are wrong and do all you can do to reverse your professors ideas.User Detail :
Name : Jesse, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 28, City : Huntington, State : WV Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,hey, if you still looking for a response, write on in here and the date you wrote it, and i'll respond back to your question. Until then, peace be with you, and chaoUser Detail :
Name : Outcast, City : Ada, State : OK Country : United States,I have never thought of adoption as anything but wonderful. I can't answer your question but I just wanted to say that I don't think that way.User Detail :
Name : DanielPfalmer, Gender : Male, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 22, City : Fairbanks, State : AK Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,
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