[Christopher D.]

A friend of mine works for an Internet Service Provider that hosts a personal ad service and says that men account for 97 percent of all email traffic. Women, why do you post personal ads but fail to respond to letters?

User Detail :  

Name : Christopher D., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 23, City : Arlington, State : TX Country : United States, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Lower middle class, 

[ELISE25302]

ALTHOUGH I AM NOT REALLY SURE AN IDEA MIGHT BE THAT AFTER INITIALLY PLACING THE AD THEY ARE TOO SCARED OF WHO MIGHT BE ANSWERING THE AD. I PERSONALLY WOULD NEVER PLACE AN AD IN THE FIRST PLACE BECAUSE THERE ARE TOO MANY HORROR STORIES THESE DAYS. PLUS I WOULD BE TOO SHY TO MEET SOME COMPLETE STRANGER, WHICH MIGHT BE ANOTHER REASON.

User Detail :  

Name : ELISE25302, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Age : 19, City : CARLSBAD, State : CA Country : United States, 

[Rhiannon]

I think women post more ads than respond to them in part because of the huge response rate. Because women know there are gobs of men for every woman in the personals, they know they can post their own ads, be specific about what they ask for, and get tons of responses. Another reason, I think, is that so many men are uncreative and sexist in their ad-writing. Many ads sound exactly the same, focus strongly on physical "requirements" and say so little about what the guy is really like that women are not inspired to answer them.

There are more men than women in general in the ads because women are taught that men are supposed to flock to us, and that we're not supposed to do any active things to find a companion, such as place an ad. Plus, in the case of Internet ads, there are more men than women on the Internet, so the pool of women is smaller to start with. When I was single, I placed a few ads (not on the net), and got piles of responses and met a few boyfriends that way. I was very specific, using "weed-out" words like "feminist" and "scholarly," and still got many good responses. I think more women should try it, as it is definitely a "buyer's market" for wome n- just be careful.

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Name : Rhiannon, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Jewish, Age : 29, City : Eden Prairie, State : MN Country : United States, Occupation : Professor, Social class : Middle class, 

[Beverly-B]

Within the impersonal society that many Americans find themselves in, it is not surprising that both men and women use the resource of the Internet to meet possible mates. A possible explanation for women not pursuing anything beyond an initial posting could be apprehension. As the primary receivers of sexual predators' advances (as well as the numerous horror stories about Internet romances gone bad), it may not be surprising that a woman's primary feeling of being lonely may be overcome by a second-guess for the sake of safety.

User Detail :  

Name : Beverly-B, Gender : F, City : Corvallis, State : OR Country : United States, 

[Patty30453]

I'm a bright, well-written woman with no interest in finding a one-night stand, married man, horny couple or fetishist. However, although I've posted ads before that I thought were literate, witty and interesting, and made all of the above clear as a bell, I still get responses including penile measurements, references to the need for absolute discretion, and an immediate interest in becoming sexually intimate. I do not respond. I won't dignify the e-mail with my time, period. So, I think that may be your answer. My experience with personal ads hasn't been good. Lots of guys (and girls) are better on the keyboard than they are in real life, and there's something about it that makes poeple lie, overstate and embellish things they never would, or could, in person. I'll keep trying, because I'm dumb and don't learn quickly, but I'm not expecting to find Mr. Not Insane.

User Detail :  

Name : Patty30453, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Methodist, Age : 29, City : Birmingham, State : AL Country : United States, Occupation : Computer Trainer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Jeff R.]

Rhiannon mentioned that women don't respond to peronal ads because men center their ads more toward sexist or physical themes rather than discussing more personnal or inner traits. I am a male and have an ad placed on the Internet. I mentioned that I am physically fit in my ad so that those who are concerned about that are told. I don't go into a bunch of poetry because anyone can just type, erase, type, erase, until they have that perfect, flowing ad. The way to get to know someone is to respond to their ad, get a little feeling as to who they are and talk to them on a phone (pay phone if you are concerned about your safety and privacy). But don't just simply not reply becasue they didn't include enough poetry about themselves.

User Detail :  

Name : Jeff R., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 36, City : Murrieta, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Management, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Anoymous]

An interesting question, well more of an interesting statement to provoke a discussion in my opinion, and you know what they say about opinions, never mind. I didn't look at the sex of the initiator but who cares what gender is posting the most ads. Sex sells I’m afraid and that ruins it for the...I was going to use lonely but it such a stigmatised word; I’ll choose 'people of socially romantic inadequacy'. I have placed an ad myself but it was a joke. It wasn't sexually orientated it was just me being bored. So I wonder how many jokers there is in the pack, you and I both know that secretly they hope to get a response but aren't pining any hopes on it, well I’m not. It nice that two people could meet and fail in love over the Internet, just as long as it isn’t as sickly as ‘You’ve got mail’, technology isn't all bad after all it would appear. No I take that back, I’m a sufferer of ‘you don’t get mail as often from that girl you fancy as you send her’ hands up if you have a similar complaint. My sympathies to the enthusiastic emailing romantic and the little puffs of disheartenment they let out when he/she hasn’t replied to their mails. Someone said that some people are better typers than speakers, that's because you can't be interrupted. Cheers

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Name : Anoymous, Age : 26, City : UK, State : NA Country : United Kingdom, 

[Dan]

Whenever I respond to a personal ad placed by a woman online, I take the time to compose a detailed, literate response. I don't send off form letters, nor are my responses sexually explicit. I'll sometimes spend as long as 30 minutes crafting a response -- the least that a woman could do is take a couple of minutes to say 'thanks, but no thanks,' just so I don't keep my hopes up. To blow off a sincere reply is not only rude, but very disrespectful of my time.

User Detail :  

Name : Dan, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 33, City : Denver, State : CO Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Terri24702]

Having placed and responded to personal ads, I've gotten to see both sides. I always answered the replies I got within a week - anyone can find a few minutes! I believe it shows respect for the man and the fact that he made time to reply to me. If I wasn't interested I politely told him so and thanked him for his response. As for the men who didn't respond when I answered their ads, I guess they weren't looking for a serious relationship. If they can't even tell a stranger, "Thanks, but I'm looking for something else in a woman," then they aren't the type of man who can be open in a relationship where it really counts.

User Detail :  

Name : Terri24702, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 33, City : Philadelphia, State : PA Country : United States, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, 

[Celeste]

As for a woman answering a man's first response to her personal ad, I would hope she has the courtesy to at least say thank you and to mention one or two similarities they share. If a woman is interested, she will be encouraging in some way. What kind of first response from a man leads to her encouragement? Please, no mention of physical aspects, dimensions or prowess; check your grammar and spelling; include expressions of interests in life, family, work, friends, leisure. These make for likely favorable first impressions. My suggesting this does not mean you should lie about who you are ... it simply means making a good first impression with your first email. Now, about your aol member profile... have you read it lately? You may want to consider what kind of impression that makes on a woman who is, essentially, seeking a mate and father for her children...:)

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Name : Celeste, Gender : F, Age : 60, City : Kent, State : OH Country : United States, 

[Scott W.]

I've placed an ad on the Internet and if the responses I've received from gay men are any anything like what straight men write it's no wonder women don't reply. Many men that write demonstrate poorer writing skills than my 6-year niece. They very often fail to say a word about themselves, instead merely telling me how much they liked my ad. (I can only assume they are so world-famous that selling themselves to me is beneath them?)

I believe men are unfamiliar with traditional courtship rituals these days, the application of charm and wit. And as a previous poster noted, mentioning your recent penis enlargement is probably not an effective wooing technique, although it does seem to be popular.

User Detail :  

Name : Scott W., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 32, City : New York, State : NY Country : United States, Occupation : Art Director, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper class, 

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