Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 25 replies, 26 voices, and was last updated 14 years, 8 months ago by
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- I have two questions. - Is the vagina of a woman who has given birth significantly looser (sexually speaking) or 'less tight' than that of a woman who has never given birth? If so, how much so? As shallow as it may sound, when I have considered becoming romantically involved with a woman who has a child (or children), that question seems to concern me. - What about a woman who has had a long-term sexual relationship (i.e. several times a week for a few years) or has been very promiscuous with multiple partners, versus someone who has only had sex a few times? You hear jokes about 'hotdog down a hallway' or 'compact car in a three car garage'... but what is the truth of the matter?
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Name : Frankie21711, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 19, City : Cleveland, State : OH Country : United States, Social class : Lower middle class,The vagina does have some elasticity to it, and returns to its normal state. The older a person gets, the less elasticity in their skin. Now if she has 10 children and starred in a hundred porn films, THEN you have a problem. The vagina does get a little looser with each child. But this can be corrected with exercise, or surgery in a worst-case senario. As for multiple partners, worry more about diseases than how tight she is.User Detail :
Name : Taz27459, Gender : M, Age : 33, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States, Social class : Middle class,Can it be less tight after childbirth? Yes (if a vaginal delivery). After all, a big ole' head and body came through there. But I have been involved with women who had a vaginal delivery, and have had wonderful sexual experiences. Remember, sex is about sharing your body and giving pleasure to your partner--in spite of any physical 'difficulties.' Don't be so concerned with your own pleasure. My experience is that if you strive to pleasure her, she will strive to pleasure you (and then some). Remember, a natural, vaginal delivery puts a great deal of stress on a woman's body. And until relatively recently, it was rather dangerous (yes, life-threatening -- for her). Don't shy away from her because there are natural changes in her body from giving birth. After all, what are you going to do if you get married and your wife gives birth through a natural childbirth?Oh, I've also heard that the 'loose vagina' issue can be helped by the woman performing 'kegal excercises.' I don't really know much about that.
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Name : Wayne24412, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Baptist, Age : 44, City : Parsippany, State : NJ Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,The vagina is like any other muscle in that if it's toned it's tight. Childirth can be tough on the body but it's just like any other physical challenge: she either gets in shape after the trauma or she doesn't. Someone who is out of shape, doesn't work out and has no muscle tone might not have any 'down there' either. If there were complications during childbirth and she doesn't have the ability to work back to where she was, you might experience something that doesn't work for you. But trust me, the worst sexual experience you have in your life won't be an out-of-shape vagina. It will be a sexually transmitted disease, someone who isn't adventurous in bed, or something emotionally unsatisfying. You are 19 and if you want to sleep with her, chances are she is in shape from head to toe. Wear protection. Even if you can't 'see' something and she doesn't know it's there, you can still get it. Forever.User Detail :
Name : Jen30998, Gender : F, City : Miami, State : FL Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College,I've been seeing a married woman who's had 3 sons, the last one 21 years ago. He weighed 10 pounds at birth. Her vagina is so tight that she once asked me to remove my middle finger from it and substitute a different finger because of that. We've never had intercourse without my going down on her for quite a while first.User Detail :
Name : Rick29964, City : Miami, State : FL Country : United States,I have two children, and I'm as tight as it gets. I am not very sexual active, but every man I have been with has commented me on my vagina. I'm not trying to sound conceded, but the true is the truth. Don't let women with children shy you away from having a relationship with her. Now if she has sex like a hoe, that's another story.User Detail :
Name : Me, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Baptist, Age : 26, City : Des Moines, State : IA Country : United States, Occupation : Law, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I think a factor that is at least as important as the concerns you've stated is that different women 'grow' to different sizes while they're having sex -- just like men do. That's part of the reason why foreplay tends to be important for women...if she's not ready for it even a finger can hurt, because she hasn't had time to expand and lubricate. Also, generally it isn't much fun for the woman, either, if 'the car's too small for the garage,' although if you get creative there are definitely ways around that.User Detail :
Name : Lindsey22728, Religion : Pagan, Age : 25, City : Titusville, State : FL Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I've had sex with several women over the years who have had children by normal vaginal delivery. One who had two children, did feel like the Grand Canyon. So much so that normal vaginal sex was unsatisfying. OTOH my second wife, who has borne 3 children, is a very nice fit. My conclusion is having had children may not be what makes a difference.User Detail :
Name : Bruce19297, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 52, City : Houston, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Accountant, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Wayne is right about each trying to please the other. But on the more practical side, there are muscles either side of the vagina and the regular flexing of those can help a great deal. If these are flexed during intercourse it has a 'milking' effect and can make you delerious with pleasure. I've heard that a woman with narrow hips tends to be 'looser.' I wonder if there's any truth to that? Why is there no woman in this forum?User Detail :
Name : Vail24484, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : mutt, Religion : Atheist, Age : 40, City : Philly, State : PA Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,The traditional position for a woman giving birth in a hospital in the United States is lying on her back. This is probably the worst position a woman could be in. The weight of the baby puts great stress on the relativly fragile skin between the vagina and anus. Doctors usually perform an episiotomy shortly into labor. For those who don't know, an episiotomy is when the doctor cuts a slit from the vagina to the anus. They do this because if they don't, the weight of the baby will rip the skin anyway and a scalpel cut is much cleaner. This leads to a lot of the 'looseness' associated with a woman's vagina after childbirth. Time and proper healing can restore its properties, but the best thing would be to give birth squatting. Strange as it may sound, it is the least stressful position for you and the baby to be in during childbirth. Of course I'm not a certified doctor, but any rudimentary knowledge of human anatomy would probably lead you to the same conclusion.User Detail :
Name : Jackson, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 19, City : Tucson, State : AZ Country : United States, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Lower class,Well, speaking from my personal experience, those who have had sex with me after giving birth say that it feels as tight as it did beforehand. And there are some wonderful kegal routines that can be done anytime...even during sex! Don't worry, I felt the same way you do before I had my child. I was so nervous about how it would feel afterward...but I haven't had any complaint other than it seems TOO tight some times.User Detail :
Name : SoulSista, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 24, City : Windy City, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : supervisor at CSC, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower class,My wife has had two children - both vaginally. My first son was 9lb 4oz and my second was 9lb 3oz. If you do not know much about birth weights - both of my sons are considered very large (Most weights that I have been told about are 6-7 lbs) Surgury following my first son makes it such that I can not relate the subject following his birth (Complications with the birth) For the second son. He was delivered easier than my first. But - following the birth - I really did not notice any looseness. There may have been a bit - but that only helps me fit better. I have to pull in part of the answer from one of the other posters. The vagina does stretch some - but returns to basically the same after birth.User Detail :
Name : Thomas24782, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 28, City : Cullman, State : AL Country : United States, Occupation : Engineer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,I have had 3 children delivered vaginally, and my husband struggles to enter me. He's not John Holmes, either. I simply do Kegal exercises every time I think to. Not only does it help to 'tighten' the vagina, it also helps to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles. That will pay off when I'm older. Women who don't do their Kegals' after childbirth may have problems later in life such as prolapsed uterus, (a condition where the uterus literally 'falls out' into the vagina), prolapsed bladder, (it doesn't fall out, but collapses in a way), and may suffer urinary and/ or fecal incontinence. However, if a woman has only had 1 child, she should be in good shape. The vagina is a very elastic organ. And returns to near normal condition soon after birth. As far as promiscuous women, I'd been more concerned about disease than anything else. But, since you asked, I have talked to several men who have had 'loose' women, and that term is used for a reason. Anything that is over-used will show signs of wear. The same goes for a monogamous relationship. If there was lots and lots of sex, it could been 'worn out', too. However, being divorced myself, I can assure you there was no sex 'several times a week'. The sex is the first thing to go in a bad relationship. Anyway, I guess you'll have to look at it like a lottery. Just as a woman doesn't know what size penis a guy has she's interested in, a man doesn't know if he needs to strap a 2x4 to his ass to keep from falling in. Just go for it and hopefully everyone will be pleasantly surprised by their mate. *please sign Tonya K.User Detail :
Name : Tonya Kincaide, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Baptist, Age : 32, City : evansville, State : IN Country : United States, Occupation : automotive repair, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class,The other responses covered some of the basics, but left out is the effect of arousal. The vaginal sheath, the labia & the clitoris all contain erectile tissue, just like in the penis. A woman can, in theory, become so aroused that her vagina swells shut, for all intents & purposes. I found that knowing this improved my & my male partner's sex life, despite my having given birth vaginally three times. Thus, it's not just altruism that should motivate getting her excited, but self-interest, too. The more aroused she is, the more swollen with blood her genitalia become, the 'snugger' the fit. I've heard that vaginal massage (aka, fisting), done appropriately, actually improves vaginal muscle tone, which is opposite to the looseness hypothesis. Also, kiegel (or pelvic floor) exercises can increase the sensitivity to arousal by both men & women.User Detail :
Name : Kia M, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Buddhist, Age : 39, City : Chico, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : writer & intellectual, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower class,As a woman with a child I'd like to answer this. Giving birth or long term sexual relationship really have no effect on looseness or tightness. I think it's just the thought that may have started the myth. Yes, for a short time after birth there might be some 'looseness' but it goes away and things return to what they were before. Personally, I don't see anything wrong with your question. That is how one learns - by asking questions.User Detail :
Name : Candice A, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 34, City : Spokane, State : WA Country : United States, Occupation : Detailer, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Lower middle class,
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