[Crystal]

Why do heterosexual couples need to be covered by domestic partnership laws and insurance? Why don't they just get married, since they can legally do so and gays can't?

User Detail :  

Name : Crystal, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Pagan, Age : 30's, City : Oakland, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Office manager, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Rhiannon]

Many heterosexual partners choose not to marry because they disagree with the ideology of the institution. It has been tainted for many years by oppressive gender roles. It has become a consumerism-fest, with $20,000 weddings and pretentious wedding registries and the expectation of the "two months' salary" engagement ring. And worst of all, in my opinion, it is tainted by the dominant belief in our culture that heterosexual, monogamous married couples are the only legitimate relationships. The expectation that one must get married to be a real adult still lives in our culture. That said, I'd like to mention that I may well get married someday, maybe - I'm about to move in with my boyfriend. But as long as the law blatantly discriminates against gays who choose to marry, I will give serious consideration to permanent domestic partnership.

User Detail :  

Name : Rhiannon, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Jewish, Age : 28, City : Minneapolis, State : MN Country : United States, Occupation : Media studies graduate student, 

[CV31715]

Rhiannon, I share your concern about the incredibly outrageous wedding ceremonies that consume most couples for months before and consume their and/or their parents' resources for months or years afterward. I'd be interested to see a study that supports your contention, however, that most people who choose not to marry do it because of ideological disagreement with the institution of marriage. I would guess that it often has a lot more to do with fear of commitment. We live in an age when you can't even get someone to commit to serving on a committee for three months because it might close off other options for that time slot. Marriage ought to be about making an all-out commitment to "love, honor and cherish" the other person. It also ought to be about saying, "If I'm going to bring children into the world, I'm going to give them the best possible chance at growing up healthy and well-adjusted." And studies do show that a two-parent home is most likely to accomplish that goal. (I'm not dissing single mothers, just stating a reality of life for children.) Oh, and studies also show that living together before getting married isn't all that good an idea if the hope is "we'll get to know each other well, and then make the commitment." People who have lived together before marriage divorce at a higher rate than those who haven't. I'm not offering these observations in a condemning attitude, just in an attitude of concern that people understand what they are really doing when they make the choice to live together "without the piece of paper."

User Detail :  

Name : CV31715, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 40, City : Small Town, State : IA Country : United States, Occupation : Pastor, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[DykeOnByke]

Some opposite-sex couples choose domestic partnerships over marriage for a variety of reasons. Retirees have been one of the largest groups requesting opposite-sex domestic partner benefits. Widows and widowers may not want to lose their deceased spouse's pension plan by remarrying. Other couples may be separated from spouses but not remarry for religious reasons, but rather live with a domestic partner.

User Detail :  

Name : DykeOnByke, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 48, City : Southfield, State : MI Country : United States, Occupation : Engineer; corporate diversity council member, 

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