Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 24 replies, 25 voices, and was last updated 18 years, 1 month ago by
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- I am 18 and my mother was the one in my family who 'didn't allow' me to be interested in boys at school. I felt driven to experience for myself what my mother kept hidden from me, and I ended up in some trouble. In a society that worships sexuality and encourages role models that double as sex-icons, it is only natural to expect our young girls to have desires and curiosity. Make sure your daughter is made to feel she can communicate with you about her 'boyfriends.' Speaking openly to her about what you will allow and what she should look out for is really what is going to save her a lot of heartache in the end. As for your husband, I can tell you this from experience, he could potentially drive her in the opposite direction, if he refuses to lighten up.
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Name : Jessica L., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Age : 18, City : San Diego, State : CA Country : United States,I think the answer hinges on whether she likes this boy as a love object or a regular pal, sports partner, intellectual match, etc. I would have been very upset had I been kept away from boys in high school. It did not occur to me to want to date a boy (I thought I was just innocent at the time), but I had some great buddies. (Caveat: having male buddies won't make your child gay, either.) You could say it's OK to have this friend and do regular friend activities (movies, sports, homework) in and around the house, but no dances, no kissing, no parties, etc. I agree that 14 is too young to date, but there can be rich friendships without the romantic connection.User Detail :
Name : Alice31380, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Jewish, Age : 25, City : Danbury, State : CT Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,Your daughter is under two influences, that of a religious subculture (Mormonism) and of her peers at school. How does your daughter feel about being a Mormon and the restrictions placed on her? If she resonates with your spiritual ideals, then you don't need to worry about this boy because you can trust your daughter. If she's more into the boy than religion, I suggest throwing her in a wet basement under lock and key because hormonal love at that age is extremely powerful. P.S.: Don't feed her.User Detail :
Name : Andrea-M, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 24, City : Los Altos, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I don't think there is any problem with boys calling a girl's house at this age. My parents are very protective of this, and when boys started calling my house, they were kind of aggravated. You have to let your daughter live her own life. You're just there to set the guidelines and hopefully set her along the right track. That's not saying that everything she tries to do you have to have a rule about. Make sure you tell her everything you want her to know. If you're worried about sex, tell her. I would never think about that at my age, but I know that my parents think that that's what I want. As long as you both set the guidelines and agree, I don't think there is anything wrong with your daughter going out with boys - or boys calling the house. Picture yourself in her position. It's not a good thing. You feel like your parents don't trust you, and it's not a good feeling.User Detail :
Name : Meghan, Gender : F, Age : 15, City : Rochester, State : MI Country : United States,To Margaret Z: I think it's you who is being a bit harsh. I am 17, left school at 16 and have been in full-time work the past 7 months. I am planning on going to University in September. I'm afraid I'm not really up to speed on U.S. laws but speaking from experience, I think you've got to stop being so overprotecive, certainly by the time your kids are 16. I'm quite a slow developer, and to be honest I'm not really interested in dating at the moment anyway, but I have a friend whose parents, particularly her father, are very overprotective, and as a result she has been dating boys on the sly since she was 11. She spends as much time away from her parents as possible, and they don't have a clue what she's up to. I think it's fine for a 14-year-old to have boyfriends, especially if she feels she can talk to her mother about any serious problems she's having. Generally at that age kids aren't really interested in doing anything serious with their boyfriends, anyway. If you try to segregate boys and girls, they are going to grow up as unbalanced people.User Detail :
Name : Indigo, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 17, City : Aberdeen, State : NA Country : United Kingdom,Don't put too many rules on your daughter, not only will she rebell but it will take away some of her self confidence. You don't have to worry about too much 'happening' between your daughter and 14 or 15 year old boys, as long as you make sure that you have SHOWN her what would happen if she becomes pregnant. Some good ways to do this are to enroll her in a class either in school or your community that teaches her about a pregnancy, how hard it is to care for a baby, and how especially hard it is when you are a teen. You may want to keep a few small rules, such as you must be home when they are together. Don't try to push to hard on the rules or she will feel like she is your puppet, and rebel.User Detail :
Name : Ben23362, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Age : 15, City : St. Charles, State : IL Country : United States,I am 14 and probably don't have a right to answer, but I don't think it's fair for a father to not allow his daughter to talk to guys on the phone and so on. Think about how you would feel. I don't have very many 'boyfriends,' but I have had a few, and they're nothing big - just crushes and flings. However, my best friend is a guy, and I love it. I have liked him before, but we are too good of friends for anything to happen.My answer for you is probably to talk to your daughter first, find out her feelings and then talk it over with your husband. I think she's getting to the point where she is going to start talking to guys all the time, and you can't ban her from it. Trust me, she'll hate you.
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Name : Christina32071, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 14, City : Houston, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : student,My advise to you...Don't let your daughter date until she is atleast 16 yrs old. I have friends who began dating too young and things didn't turn out so well for them. When you begin to date too young, you get too comfortable. You will start off just kissing the first boy you date, and as the boyfriends come and go, you get more comfortable doing things you shouldn't. I am one that can say I am glad I waited to date after 16. Your daughter may hate you for not letting her date now, but she will thank you for it later:)User Detail :
Name : Amanda, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Mormon, Age : 19, City : Irvine, State : CA Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Upper class,I think it's completely fine for a girl to like a boy at this age. As long as she keeps her standards and minds herself, you should be fine.User Detail :
Name : Ck, City : Lacey, State : WA Country : United States,My parents were the same way. I was not allowed to 'date' until I was 16. Then once I turned 16 my parents found ways of grounding me and only letting me hang out with certain friends that they approved of...no boys. I counted down the days until I could go off to college and do as I pleased. And I did, and almost failed my first year of college. I know this sounds like an extreme case, but it happens quite often. I feel as though when social life in high school is smotherd it back fires when the teen is grown and has to make their own choices. At least while shes in high school if she makes a wrong choice you will be there to catch and guide her. It would be better for you to approve of her having a boy as a friend that way she can talk to you and be open about it, and not have to go behind your back.User Detail :
Name : Christi19664, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 22, City : Philadelphia, State : PA Country : United States, Occupation : banker, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,
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