I am a 15-year-old overweight girl. It pains me in society when people stare at me for no reason or make fun of me with fat jokes. I have tried to diet and exercise, but being a dependent teen, I have no choice about what I eat for dinner, and I have no way of exercising because of my mother's rules. What am I supposed to do about that? I have been teased since I was a young child about my weight. My whole family was overweight though my two brothers somehow lost the weight. Any suggestions?
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Name : Olivia, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Pentecostal, Age : 15, City : Wichita, State : KS Country : United States, Education level : Less than High School Diploma, I am not sure what you mean that you are unable to exercise because of your mother's rules. Does she oppose you playing soccer or other sports? Is it possible to sit down, and reason with your mother, saying that you feel uncomfortable about your weight and would like to become more physically active? Even bicycling for 1 hour a day will help. Can you talk to your doctor about a program that would cut down your calories, and make you physically more active? If that is not going to work, you can try to tell her that just as smoking and drinking are dishonouring to the Lord, it is also dishonouring to the Lord to be overweight. (It shortens your life, and is not healthy.)
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Name : Ronald-V29466, Gender : M, Religion : Christian, Age : 50, City : Edmonton, State : NA Country : Canada, Social class : Middle class, Maybe you should go to see your doctor and have him or her talk to you mother about the health risks associated with obesity. With the doctors orders of 'more exercise' and 'less fatty food' she may change her rules. If that doesn't work, couldn't you do more sports at school? Are there any after-school programs that involve physical exertion? Could you maybe walk home from school instead of taking the bus? Do you have any neighbors that have dogs that you could walk? Try to do stuff that your mom will not consider 'exercise' but that will help you to burn calories. Also, at the dinner table, you should fill your plate with low-fat items instead of nothing at all so that she doesn't think you're dieting and give you mounds of fatty foods. Maybe you could even volunteer to cook dinner a couple of nights a week to 'help out' so you can all eat something healthy and low fat. I wish you well.
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Name : Jay31090, City : New York, State : NY Country : United States, Olivia - my heart goes out to you! Just remember , if the only thing people can think of to criticize about you is your weight, you must be a pretty cool chick! Unfortunately, our society places way too much importance on what's outside, instead of what's inside. Can you ask your brothers what they've done to lose the weight? At 15, you're still growing, so you may lose some of it as you reach 18, without much effort. I know you feel like you have no choice, but here's some things you can try - 1) Never empty your plate, always leave something, or if your Mom insists you finish everything, take smaller portions. Also, I used to tell people I wasn't hungry or I didn't like what they offered because I was a very picky eater(I wasn't really, I just said that whenever relatives or friends offered unhealthy snacks). 2) Exercise - always choose the stairs over escalators and elevators whenever possible. Do you spend time alone in your room? You could do sit-ups or push-ups, who would know? When I was your age, I used to put on music and dance in my room - my parents didn't care as long as it wasn't too loud. Good Luck to you, hope this helps!
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Name : Susan27493, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 38, City : Canoga Park, State : CA Country : United States, Although I think that our society's obsession with slim people is ridiculous, it understandable that the most socially desirable and acceptable people will be those who look healthy. This is what insures the survival of a species and being overweight is a strain on good health. Extremely thin people are also not desirable. This we can not change. What can be changed, if the will is strong enough, is to learn about healthy eating patterns, chose to eat those foods on our plates, walk as much as possible and drink as much water as possible. All these things will help you lose weight, even if you do not cook for yourself and exercise not possible at home.
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Name : Martha Hicks, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Unitarian, Age : 53, City : Bielefeld, State : NA Country : Germany, Occupation : teacher, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, Unfortunately, you're in a lot of company. Most Americans are overweight. Good for you for doing something about it, but do it for yourself not others. Diet it important but so is exercise. Using those weightloss products many help in the beginning but are harmful over the long term. Enlist the help of others such as a doctor or gym teacher who could explain the consequences to your family especialy your mother(diabetes, heart disease...) and design plan that everyone can live with.
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Name : Steve27658, Gender : M, Race : Black/African American, Age : 30, City : New York, State : NY Country : United States, Occupation : teacher, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, Olivia, have you discussed this with your mother? Tell her your concerns and ask for her help. If she has restrictions for exercise, can you jog/walk in place at home? How about dancing to music you like. If you are confined to the food choices your mother makes, do the best you can. Get out measuring cups and measure out amounts. Searching the internet for appropirate food choices and serving sizes will help too.
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Name : Vicki-Imerman, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 43, City : Boone, State : IA Country : United States, Occupation : Nursing Instructor, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, Do you mean to say your mother won't allow you to exercise? If that's the case, perhaps there's a gym teacher or counselor at your school that can help you devise a plan to overcome that. As far as the boneheads who stare and make comments: there's nothing you can do to change their stupid behavior, and although it may be hard, you can choose to ignore them. Does your mother force you to eat everything on your plate? You can choose smaller portions of whatever it is she cooks, and that will help. Notice how I keep using the word 'choose'? You have choices, even if it seems as if you don't. If your two brothers lost their excess weight, you can too!
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Name : ED25469, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 46, City : Kansas City, State : MO Country : United States, First, please realize that you ALWAYS have a choice when it comes to YOUR life. My suggestion is that you start talking with your mother about this. Since you had the courage to post your question, you need to build the courage to talk to your mother, and tell her the same things you posted here. You also need to check into activities in school, church, or in the community that will allow you to exercise. If your mother won't let you, then you need to start reading books on exercise and health and do the exercises at home. Finally, I think you would benefit from reading books on self-esteem and self-image because even if you do not lose the weight, you need to realize that you can still be a valuable, beautiful person, regardless of what your body type.
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Name : Rashid, Gender : M, Race : mixed race, City : Washington, State : DC Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, I have a lot of sympathy with you. I've was teased about my weight all through primary and intermediate school (when I was between 7 and 12). I started dieting when I was 8, and yoyo dieted for the next 20 years. After 20 years I realised I would never be able to keep the weight off and stopped dieting, despite still being told I should diet, I should just have more will power, I just have to 'really want to lose the weight'. Weight is still an issue for me. There are more people saying now that it's better for people's health to concentrate on setting up a moderate, healthy eating and excersize plan that you can maintain for life. That includes keeping away from rigid, restrictive diets and not letting yourself stay hungry. Suggesting some changes towards healthier foods might be accepted by your mother more that pushing dieting. I wonder if your mother is worried about you going on restrictive diets. My main suggestion though is don't diet, it doesn't work long term.
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Name : Jenny30928, Gender : F, Age : 38, City : Wellington, State : NA Country : New Zealand, Social class : Lower middle class, While you may have no say in what your mother prepares for dinner, you do have a say in how much of it you put in your mouth, and that is the key to weight loss. First, make a point of telling your whole family that you plan to lose weight for your health. All mothers want their children to be healthy. However, you can't make her change her eating/cooking if she's not ready, so just control your portions; weight loss is all about cutting calories. When you eat out or at your school's cafeteria, choose more healthful and lower-calorie dishes, such as grilled chicken. Ask for your brothers' advice and search the Web for weight loss success stories. In time, perhaps your example will inspire your family. I was obese in my teens but lost 100 lbs. over a year ago, so I understand how you feel. Good luck.
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Name : Holly-A, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 22, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : Secretary, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, I understand about having family pressures to stay overweight. My grandmother would pressure me to eat if she thought I was getting too skinny. I had a friend who was very overweight as a kid, largely because of what she was fed at home. Also, her mom was never supportive of her losing weight when she lived at home. Finally, when she moved out, she started to diet and exercise and lost 150 lbs the healthy way. Any kind of exercise will help--any change from a non-active lifestyle will help. You could take PE classes at school if possible, or walk to school if you have that option. I had a strict upbringing, too, and you just have to learn to work around it. Take a slightly smaller portion of food at dinner, enough to not be noticed. Drink something unsweetened instead of something sweet (sweet drinks are 120 cals usually, tea or diet sodas are 0). You just have to be clever.
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Name : Abby, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Methodist, Age : 26, City : Memphis, State : TN Country : United States, Occupation : homemaker, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, That's a difficult one. First, since you have acknowledged that your family has a problem with their weight, you will need to take into account that you also share these genetics and that you may never be a thin person. However, what you can do is exercise at home. You can jump rope, do jumping jacks, sit-ups in your room, etc. for 30 minutes a day and tone up some areas that are not toned. This will not only help facilitate losing weight but it will also help keep your body fit. And when people stare, STARE BACK. Make them see how ridiculous they look and don't take fat jokes personally because the person making the joke is probably just an extremely insensitve person anyway!
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Name : Jane, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Atheist, Age : 32, City : San Diego, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Legal Assistant, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, are you obese or are you just overweight? If you are obese then you should go to the doctor and see if he could talk to your mother? If you are just overweight you can do excersises at home, try doing weights, because they are very effective. women get scared because they think they'll bulk up but that only happens if you have as much testosterone as a guy or if you specifically have a very high protein intake (impossible on a normal diet) or if you take steroids. So it is impossible for you to bulk up. You do have to be carefull when excercising because people assume you don't have to watch what you eat, the bad thing is when you excercise you get hungry and end up eating more, when really you just need more water. (drink at least six glasses a day) other than that, ignore what kids say. DO well at school: it's the best revenge. When you have your high paid job, and your freedom, you can join a gym and get a personal fitness trainer. Going through tough times will give you more character when you enter the world, just remember to remain strong and confident. If you need help on how to excercise try some websites, a good one is http://www.jorgecruise.com/ good luck and keep your head up.
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Name : katie26697, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Age : 30, City : ny, State : NY Country : United States, Social class : Lower middle class, Well that's no fun. It's possible that your brothers just sort of naturally thinned out when they went through puberty, because some people are lucky that way, and you might be too. Speaking as a teenager who has also struggled with her weight, I can give you two pieces of advice: drink lots of water and don't drink anything that has calories. Do that and try to take smaller portions at dinner and you should start to see results after a while. Have you tried just talking to your mother about your desire to lose weight?
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Name : Meghan M, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : bi-curious, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Wiccan, Age : 17, City : Vienna, State : VA Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : Less than High School Diploma, Social class : Upper middle class, 
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