[Tatum]

I am part of an interracial couple. I am African American and my boyfriend is Italian American. We are considering moving to Charleston, S.C., or Wilmington, N.C. We visited there a few times and received a few stares and negative reactions from people. I want to know what others feel about interracial couples in the South. Do you think, from your experience, it would be a bad choice to move there?

User Detail :  

Name : Tatum, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, City : Manasquan, State : NJ Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, 

[Matt]

In the Atlanta area, I usually spot a few interracial couples each week while out shopping, at parks or in other public places. I've dated outside my race before, and if there are people giving me rude looks for that, I don't notice it (quite possibly because I try to give my date most of my attention). I've only had one person tell me to my face that he thought interracial dating was a bad idea. This came up during a conversation on relationships and he appeared to have been basing this on his past dating experiences.

Are there people here who hate interracial couples? I'm sure there are, but I haven't had one give me any trouble over dating outside my race yet. Atlanta isn't always 'the city too busy to hate,' but anyone who wishes to give each and every interracial couple here a full 10 minutes of quality personal hatred a week is not likely to have enough spare time to do such a thing. The situation may be different in other parts of the South; I can only speak from my own experience.

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Name : Matt, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 25, City : Oxford, State : GA Country : United States, Occupation : Engineer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Eric]

While in advanced individualized training (AIT) in the Army, I experienced a lot of stares and reactions in Georgia. I am a white man who has dated interacially in the past in Kansas City. I also had some experiences that I didn't experience in Kansas City with other white people. While by myself, if another white person struck up a conversation, they would somehow bring race into the conversation (usually a snide comment about African Americans). Also, in the Army, other soldiers from the South tended to make comments about pictures of women I dated back in KC that I had in the barracks. Back in KC, I've noticed that African Americans living there from rural areas in the South are more fearful of white people than African Americans born in KC. All I know is that the South got problems.

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Name : Eric, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : disorganized religion, Age : 27, City : Heidelberg, State : NA Country : Germany, Occupation : Military, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 

[K26965]

There are loads of white chicks dating latinos and blacks in and around my area, esp. in RURAL areas. Yes, rural Alabama. It's a bit of a token-rebellion in both directions- the guys got 'em a white girl, the girls get 'em a boy their daddy can't stand. They don't get hassled, not that I've seen, and I've seen them everywhere from Bham's best restaurants, to some podunk rodeo 2 hours from nowhere. It's not that big a deal. I notice it, yes, but this isn't the South of the 1950s and 60s.

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Name : K26965, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 34, City : birmingham, State : AL Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 

[Steve27662]

I'm in an interracial marriage and considering a move to the South. My knowledge comes from talking to friends and relatives, so this is all ancedotal. In general, it's changed for the better. I was advised to avoid the deep South and seek out the larger cities where there is more diversity. I've also been told the North Carolina research triangle area is a very diverse area.

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Name : Steve27662, Gender : M, Race : Black/African American, Age : 33, City : New York, State : NY Country : United States, Occupation : teacher, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Mark]

I think you should treat your visiting experiences as being 'typical'. These are both big tourism cities, so it's inevitable that you will encounter some people who react negatively (whether they are 'locals' or not), and that may vary depending on whether it's tourist season. Personally, I'd love to live in either city. If you're uncomfortable, you may want to consider Charlotte, or Raleigh.

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Name : Mark, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 37, City : Durham, State : NC Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Lonnie]

From experience, I think you're going to find some of the same responses you would anywhere else in the states. While I dated interracially here in Columbia I got inquiring gazes, none of which I found threatening. Charleston is much the same as any other city in America, and I would try and treat it as such. You're going to have your bad apples, but that is the case everywhere. From my account, I don't believe you will have any trouble whatsoever. Some have even argued that because Southern states have a higher ratio of black to white that the people in those states are likely to be more tolerant of interracial dating. In my opinion, the people of all the states have become more tolerant and it will only get better. You and yours will be welcome in Charleston. It's a beautiful city, and I feel confident you will like, probably love, living there.

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Name : Lonnie, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Episcopalian, Age : 33, City : Columbia, State : SC Country : United States, Occupation : audio producer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 

[Jane]

I think anywhere in the South you live, someone is going to find interracial couples strange or different enough to elicit a few stares. Remember that that behavior, coming from anyone, regardless of race, is childish. My husband is white and I'm from Alabama. When we started dating, I lost a couple of friends (who clearly weren't good friends to begin with) but found that most people who knew me were accepting of him. I expected to have more stares and strange looks, but that's not been the case. We have lived in California and now in North Carolina, and we are finding that people don't seem to notice much or that they don't place much emphasis on us. We live in Raleigh but visit Wilmington all the time (my father-in-law lives there). It's a much more insular town than Raleigh, but it definitely has a better racial history than anyplace in South Carolina. I say live where your hearts take you and you can't go wrong!

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Name : Jane, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Atheist, Age : 35, City : Raleigh, State : NC Country : United States, Occupation : Paralegal, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Jay31091]

Maybe you should consider Chapel Hill, N.C., instead - it's a college town and much more open than the rest of North Carolina. Also, you could live near military towns (i.e. Fayetteville or Jacksonville) as you see interracial couples all over the place. I am white and my ex-hubby was black, and funnily enough, HE would always think people were staring, but I never noticed it.

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Name : Jay31091, City : New York, State : NY Country : United States, 

[JessTsab]

I'm married to an Asian male. I think Wilmington is a great place. Sure, you might find an ignorant person along the way, but every town has them. Wilmington is such a diverse melting pot that it would probably be the perfect place for you. My valedictorian in high school was half white and half African. If it weren't for Wilmington, I don't know if I would have grown up so accepting of interrracial dating and marriage. But obviously I did, because I have found the love of my life and have never been happier.

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Name : JessTsab, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 20, City : Norfolk, State : VA Country : United States, Occupation : Military Police, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[John29399]

Opponents of 'interracial'* dating fill our minds with BS propaganda (at least I think) that it's bringing 'bad-blood' or whatnot into one's gene pool. So, at the same time, could you consider dating within your own 'race'* as incest? Also, stares may not be bad. Many people are not used to seeing it. My dad and a female friend of his (both White) will often look at an interracial baby in restaurant and comment on how beautifull (sp?) it looks. They especially do this when looking at a baby who is part Black and part Asian. I just hopethe couple knows they're thinking good things :) As for females around my age, 19, I think that the more diverse her ancestory, the better she tends to look. Jessica Alba is a good example. Just to bring in an example from another species, I used to work at a place that borded (sp?) dogs while their humans went on vacation. Mutts tended to be healthier and more robust than the purebreds. *I put interracial and race in quotation marks because I believe race to be a subjective thing. This is not necessarily to say race doesn't exist, but that it is created in the mind of some and planted into the mind of others.

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Name : John29399, City : Chestnut Ridge, State : NY Country : United States, 

[Elise-T]

In my experience in the South, interracial couples aren't uncommon. However, different areas tend to have a different outlook on the situation, and while this is a bit of a generalization, racial tensions as a whole are heightened in rural areas. I went to junior high in a tiny Southern town, and I recall having a boy named Marc ask me out. Very excited about having such a kind, witty boy show interest in me, I told my parents all about it. A couple weeks later though, my dad took me aside to have a talk with me. He said that while he and my mother will be very supportive of me no matter what I choose to do, people around town will give us a hard time because Marc is black. He emphasized that he and my mother love me and would love to meet Marc, but he wanted me to be forewarned that others will likely not be so understanding. It didn't occur to me until years later that I never told my parents he was black. It simply never occured to me to mention that, and to this day I have no idea how they found out. Still, more developed Southern cities (such as Knoxville and I would assume Charleston) -believe it or not- are usually more progressive than others might think. True, there will be remnants of ignorance, but out of racial tension comes an elevated effort to be accepting of black people, especially extending to interracial couples.

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Name : Elise-T, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Pagan, Age : 18, City : Knoxville, State : TN Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Upper middle class, 

[C]

Well me and my wife dont see to many BF/WM couples. But where we live it is mostly Hispanic when we do go to the white part of town we might get a look but not so bad. Plus I believe that Military towns and college towns are more open. I have always dated outside my race, growin up in Cali I caught more grief than I do here in TX. Well good luck with your move

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Name : C, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 32, City : SA, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Medical, Social class : Middle class, 

[Pastor-Lyle]

I can definitely identify with your quest and with some of the responses because I am a 'European American' male married to an 'African-American' woman in the Carolinas. We have lived in both North and South Carolina, and yes, we do receive our share of stares. We love the Carolinas and want to continue living here. And while the stares may be a bit uncomfortable at times, they usually don't seem dangerous. But we realize, too, that there seems to be a sort of 'time warp' when we go out into the more rural sections, and for that reason, would never consider living there. My advice would be to live where you want most to live, because [if you choose to be in an interracial relationship, you will even get stares at times in places like Disney World or Washington, D.C., but you will also be testifying to the world that we are all just people who really need to get along as though there were no skin pigmentation differences.

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Name : Pastor-Lyle, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Methodist, City : Durham, State : NC Country : United States, Social class : Upper class, 

[Gene S.]

I have lived in SC for 30 years. In that time I dated several women of other races. I noticed no hostile looks and have had no problems. In 98 I married a younger black woman with 2 daughters. they are now my daughters, eventhough I divorced their mother. Nobody gives us any trouble, the teachers accepted me w/o question. I thought the stares my ex and I got were because she is so sexy. Come on to Beaufort we need moore new people than charleston.

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Name : Gene S., Gender : M, Religion : Lutheran, Age : 49, City : Beaufort, State : SC Country : United States, Social class : Middle class, 

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