Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 24 replies, 25 voices, and was last updated 19 years, 2 months ago by
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- What does it mean when people say someone is "high maintenance"?
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Name : Debbie Williams, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 18, City : Miami, State : FL Country : United States, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class,The term "high maintenance" generally refers to women who expect a lot of attention and a lot of money spent on them by their boyfriends. These are the women who won't date a guy unless he buys them gifts and takes them to expensive restaurants all the time. Some high-maintenance women even expect the man to pay for them to get their hair and nails done, buy them clothes and pay their credit card bills. Personally, I don't think this is right and people should pay their own bills and not be so materialistic, but to each his own. And I guess if a man wants to be a sucker, then that is entirely up to him.User Detail :
Name : Lucy22381, Gender : F, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Age : 26, City : San Jose, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Engineer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Someone who's 'high maintenance' is often very opinionated and want things the way THEY want them. Or, they can be very sensitive, so you always have to watch what you say or they may take it the wrong way. Or, you may be trying to go to a restaurant and they have a long list of foods they hate or want things done just so (see 'When Harry Met Sally...'). Or, just someone who takes forever to do their hair, makeup, get dressed, etc. In short - just a pain in the behind!!User Detail :
Name : S-Roman, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Age : 24, City : New York, State : NY Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College,It's a term lazy, non-communicative men made up because they don't know and/or don't care how to please a woman. They are only concerned about themselves. When a man mentions the phrase "high-maintenance," I get away from him instantly. Anything valued and worth having, in my book, is high-maintenance.User Detail :
Name : Anonymous23737, Gender : F, Age : 38, City : n/a, State : FL Country : United States,I've heard the "H.M.U." ("High Maintenance Unit") phrase used in a couple of settings. The first setting was from an acquaintance who provided guide services for an adventure sport outfitter. When a client/adventurer was labeled "H.M.U.," it was because they required an inordinate amount of attention, energy and pampering. The woman who was carried up (and back down) Everest during the disastrous climb described in Into Thin Air comes to mind. The other time I have heard the phrase "H.M.U." was when another acquaintance was lamenting the amount of time, energy and emotional-tiptoeing required by a fragile "friend" who was sucking all the energy and life out of their relationship. I think H.M.U.'s could fairly be regarded as the equivalent of psychological and emotional black holes, consuming much more energy than they release.User Detail :
Name : Cheryl32331, Gender : F, Religion : Humanist, City : New Haven, State : CT Country : United States, Occupation : Occassional adventurer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,It is a term used by either gender to describe someone who is usually very self-centered. High maintenance people usually are unable or unwilling to contribute fully to the relationship. Think of a piece of machinery that always has to be coaxed along to get it to do its job and you will have an idea of high maintenance.User Detail :
Name : James20880, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, City : Tucson, State : AZ Country : United States, Occupation : health care, Education level : Over 4 Years of College,High maintenance is one of many car/woman metaphors that men have come up with over the years. A high-maintenance woman, like a car of the same persuasion, is one that doesn't function without a lot of pampering. This means that regular unleaded fuel (home-cooked meals and average restaurants) is not enough. You have to go out to expensive restaurants and 'dress up.' Regular-weight oil (being civil and nice) is not enough to grease her pistons; you need to buy lots of flowers and spend lots of money and time on gifts. Overall, a high-maintenance woman is generally thought of as being very expensive and time-consuming. The only reason someone would get involved with one is if she's 'worth it' (i.e. has a good body - I mean chassis.)User Detail :
Name : Brian23002, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 25, City : Peru, State : IN Country : United States, Occupation : management, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,When my friends use the term it can be used for either a male or female. It means an individual who can never go with the flow, always has to be the center of attention, creates his or her own crisis day after day, and in general is exasperating to be around.User Detail :
Name : Dennis, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 42, City : Boston, State : MA Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College,'High-maintenance' is a matter of perception. It is when you believe that a person demands a lot of emotional and material attention, but you don't feel like they are giving you enough in return. It is a hurtful situation because you are afraid the person will leave you if you stop giving, but your own needs are not being met. Because men are often in the role of wage-earner and protector, usually it is men who feel this way.User Detail :
Name : Damien, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 29, City : Boston, State : MA Country : United States, Occupation : Computer technician, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,It refers to women who require constant attention from their lovers to the point at which their lover takes on the appearance of a personal servant. It is synonymous with the term 'princess.'User Detail :
Name : Justin27066, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 26, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : file clerk, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,To Anonymous: That is wrong. It has nothing to do with how to please a woman. I don't understand why people have to bring gender into everything. High maintenance simply refers to oneself or one's partner requiring a lot of attention in order to be happy. It could be in the form of physical and emotional attention, or the need to buy lots of gifts for that person to keep him or her happy. I hear the term used more often in the gay community than the straight community (as in 'I have a high maintenance boyfriend'). And it's not always something bad that one needs to run away from. Some people just require that they are fawned over a little bit more in order to feel accepted in a relationship.User Detail :
Name : Don25595, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 28, City : Vancouver, British Columbia, State : NA Country : Canada, Social class : Upper middle class,To Anonymous: I beg to differ with your response. When I think of a 'high maintenance' woman, I think MONEY. When I hear a woman talk this way, I run, because all she thinks about is my wallet. My heart is bigger; so is my love.User Detail :
Name : Harvey21427, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Catholic, Age : 47, City : Los Angeles, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : sales, Education level : 4 Years of College,I agree with Anonymous: men use this to attach a negative connotation to a woman who has a lot going for her. They believe they have to invest more of their time, energy and money to keep her happy than they want to. These are usually the type of men who simply want to 'creep' and are not interested in building a stable, long-term relationship. They want to play around with several women without actually having to (gasp) date them and spend a significant amount of time with them.I was slapped with this label a few years ago, and at first I resented it because I didn't understand it, either. Now, I say, 'Yes, I am high maintenance.' Let them think what they want. Trust me, by the time you're my age, you'll see that comments like that are made by insecure people who envy whatever you have going for you.
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Name : Cindy, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : African Methodist Episcopalian, Age : 35, City : Topeka, State : KS Country : United States, Occupation : Manager, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,The term 'high maintenance' is a good, old-fashioned engineering phrase used to describe equipment that needs constant attention in order to run. It is not considered a good thing. In human relations, it means exactly the same. It denotes someone or some relationship that needs constant attention in order to thrive. We all experience it. With some people, building trust seems effortless, and with others, we need to provide constant reassurance. One would suspect that Hillary Clinton considers her relationship with Bill Clinton 'high maintenance.' In more general slang, most guys consider their girlfriends or wives as high maintenance and their golfing/fishing/drinking buddies as low maintenance.User Detail :
Name : Steve27873, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 44, City : Houston, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Engineer, of course, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,I object to Anonymous' male-bashing response. Let's keep this board civil.User Detail :
Name : Bill23245, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 42, City : The land of civility, State : VT Country : United States, Occupation : Father/Husband, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,
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