Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 26 replies, 27 voices, and was last updated 19 years, 5 months ago by
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- There have got to be some other males out there who are as fascinated with menstruation as I am. However, neither men nor women talk about the subject too much. I have always considered periods to be somewhat mysterious and extremely sensual. I would love to hear from other men who feel the same way. I'd also appreciate more than I could say hearing from some women as well. (How do you feel about your periods? Was your first period a pleasant or unpleasant experience? How do you feel about discussing your periods with the man or men in your life?) All replies will be greatly appreciated.
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Name : Bob, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Humanist, City : Virginia Beach, State : VA Country : United States, Occupation : Graduate student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College,I guess I am kind of ambivalent about my period; I don't really hate or love it. It's necessary. I think most women feel 'unclean' when they are menstruating, because of the odor, etc. Unfortunately, it's the time I feel the the most sexually expressive, and men want very little to do with having sex at this point (normally; there are exceptions). I think almost all women would give up periods forever if they were done with child-bearing or never wanted to have any children.User Detail :
Name : Erin W., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 29, City : Warren, State : MI Country : United States, Occupation : Purchasing department, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,Mysterious and sensual? More like a pain, an inconvenience, a disturbance, a mess, an interruption of my life. I tend to think that the term 'curse' gives quite a good idea of what it is like. I was younger than average when I first got my period, and my reaction was to pretend it never happened. I told no one, not even my mother. I wasn't ready to grow up; and if growing up meant THAT, I wasn't sure I ever wanted to. Now I discuss menstruation readily with my husband. He is interested because it is part of my life, and it helps me to talk about it and get some of the frustration off my chest. I complain to him and say it isn't fair that men don't have anything so inconvenient; he always mentions shaving but I tell him that's a choice and he should grow a beard if he doesn't like it.User Detail :
Name : CP19347, Gender : F, Age : 21, City : Montreal, Quebec, State : NA Country : Canada,Menstruation is just a fact of life for me. Life would be easier without it because it's just one more thing I have to deal with (like I don't have enough to do already). In addition to the blood flow that needs to be attended to, there are other factors, such as cramps, bloating, headaches, hormonal changes, and don't forget, fatigue (losing all that blood). Many women suffer from iron deficiency during menstruation. All of these factors are complicated by heavy or erratic flows. Not all women have a predictable cycle. But the cycle is what allows women to create new life, which is an amazing miracle.User Detail :
Name : Lucy-H22638, Gender : F, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Age : 25, City : San Jose, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Engineer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,What an interesting take - a man actually interested in menstruation. I had my menarche at age 11 and the thing that confused me was the dichotomy between my parents' reaction of their youngest child having made the 'passage into womanhood' and MY reaction to this newfound experience as a PAIN and inconvenience. Since then, however, I've become more aware of the changes that occur in me, both physically and emotionally, when I'm expecting it. I notice I'm really susceptible to getting sick when my period is approaching. My immune system becomes really weak, but the corollary is that my sensitivity to other things increases, so I'm more aware and in tune with other aspects of my life. Like Erin, I'm more sexually expressive during the entire course of my period, excluding those times when I get unbearable cramps. I get offended by the barrage of advertisements that sell women the message that we ought to keep the issue of menstruation hush-hush because it's our 'dirty little visitor' - to the point that they use that irritating blue fluid for pad commercials. No one would ever be embarrassed to talk about a men's issue like 'jock itch' with such shame and ambiguity, so why should we? It is my steadfast belief that if men could experience just ONE period like we do, then the world would be a VERY different place.User Detail :
Name : Taneia, Gender : F, Race : multi-ethnic, Age : 26, City : Toronto, Ontario, State : NA Country : Canada, Occupation : grad student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College,I think that if more people - male and female - thought the way that you did about menstruation, more women might have more forgiving attitudes about the lived realities of their flows. Like many of the respondents, I find the cramps, bloating, fatigue and messiness of my period pretty darn annoying. However, as my body has become more mature and my cycle more regular, I have come to really enjoy the heightened awareness of my body's ovulation, hormonal changes, ranges of fertility, the whole nine. Like Taneia, I am offended and hurt (and, sadly, affected) by the whole culture of secrecy and shame surrounding the whole thing: something that 52 percent of the population goes through is not a 'curse,' it's a miracle of evolution. And the more of us who recognize this, the healthier that 52 percent of us will be. oh, and you're not the only man to be fascinated by the subject: my husband's joyous and excited questions and attitudes (as well as his generous and frequent administerings of iron, calcium & magnesium, and dandelion root tea) have gone a huge way toward helping me feel even better during and about my period.User Detail :
Name : Jamyla, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : Black/African American, Age : 23, City : Brooklyn, State : NY Country : United States, Occupation : writer, dancer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I am not fascinated by menstruation, but perplexed that it is viewed as a 'curse' or dirty. It's nature and just part of a healthy cycle of womanhood. After all, it's mostly blood, and there is nothing dirty about that. I think a lot of the negative feelings about menstruation - primarily about PMS and possibly cramps - may well be just a manifestation of the negative light in which many view women's monthly visitations.User Detail :
Name : Butch, City : Miami, State : FL Country : United States,I used to hate having a period until I got it through my head that it is what sets females apart from males and reminds us each month that we are able to bring forth life from our own bodies. Now I tolerate it quite nicely. You might want to check out the online Museum of Menstruation (http://www.mum.org/). It's very interesting.User Detail :
Name : Lisa22751, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 29, City : St. Louis, State : MO Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College,It is interesting to hear about your fascination, but it does sound a little bit like you are turned on by menstruation. I find that a bit gross because it is so painful and as far from sensuous as can be for me! My friends, male and female, all talk about menstruation in a very open way, usually to moan about pain or discomfort or as a bit of a joke - i.e. cravings for chocolate and hot water bottles. So it is difficult for me to tell them how awful my experiences are - women think you are exaggerating because they can manage their own pain and men are over-sympathetic to every mention of period pain no matter whether it is minor or major. I missed a lot of school days until I found an anti-inflammatory pain killer that worked. At my worst I have vomited from the pain, and I go so white and my lips so blue that I look dead. And at the time I often wish I was! My first period was on my ninth birthday and at the time my primary school head teacher refused to believe that one of his 'children' was menstruating and so there were no facilities made available to me. At the time I was very much a tom boy, and having this period was defining me as female, which of course I hated. I've grown out of that now but I do still dread my periods. It may be a bit strange, but I'm really looking forward to the menopause!User Detail :
Name : Lockie, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 22, City : London, State : NA Country : United Kingdom, Occupation : student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Lockie, have you seen a doctor? It sounds like you may be suffering from a hormone imbalance or other disorder. I would suggest going on the Pill, it worked for me. I noticed that you are Catholic, but gee, this is a medical need! Best wishes to you.User Detail :
Name : Ninkasi, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, City : Houston, State : TX Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,From reading some of the responses, I suppose you may think that females lose a lot of blood during menstruation, but the truth is, less than half a cup is lost throughout the whole process. As for me, it was so easy the first two years. I felt no pain or discomfort. I actually liked having my period. Now, I think it's a nuisance, and dread the thought of getting it. For me, that's a whole week of constant changing and stained panties. Needless to say, I find it annoying and unfair to the female sex.User Detail :
Name : Orleanas, Gender : F, Age : 20, City : Boston, State : MA Country : United States, Occupation : Student,I wasn't aware that guys were fasinated with periods. The guys I know sort of squirm whenever they're within earshot of girls chatting about "that time of the month." I hate my periods. I hate the bloating, the cramps, the shock of finding visible stains on my clothes...all of that. Sometimes I wish I could switch into a boy during that last week of the month (the scheduled time for my flow's visit) and then switch back to a woman.But I never use my period as an excuse to get out of work. Whenever I want to cave in to a cramp, I think of slave women picking cotton, forced to grit their teeth and bear it, and I do the same.
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Name : T.R., Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, City : Newark, State : NJ Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I should first start out by saying that my periods have really never had a big impact on the rest of my life; not much pain and cramping, little or no PMS, etc. I'm actually more sexually attuned during the few days of menstruation. So maybe that's why it is easier for someone like me to say that I think it's a shame that some women regard menstruation as a "curse." It's a natural part of the rhythms of the female body and should not be perceived by anyone, men or women, as something dirty or bad. Of course, my attitude might be different if I had painful periods like some of the women who responded here. For those women, I would go see an OB-GYN (holistic or traditional Western) about your bad periods. There may be some treatments that could help you. I would hate to go through my life angry and bitter about a function of my body.User Detail :
Name : Lena22848, Age : 29, City : New Orleans, State : LA Country : United States,I have been taking depo-provera contraception injections(once every 3 months) since 1994 (with one break from Jan 96 to Aug 97 during which I got pregnant and had my son) and save for one period just before I conceived I have had --NO MENSTRUAL FLOW-- not a single drop of blood or cramp. I have often heard that doctors will, in cases with women experiencing extreme syptoms such as you described and not currently trying to get pregnant, prescibe depo to kill two birds with one stone. The lack of a period is a very common and normal side effect of the contraceptive, but not a guarantee. Hormonal contraceptives will affect each woman differently. In some cases, I'm sure, your doctor will spot certain conditions that would rule you out as a canidate, other times you just have to try it and see what happens. Depo-Provera is available by prescription and at Planned Parenthood clinics. For more info check out www.ppeci.org/depo.htmUser Detail :
Name : Katherine D., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 24, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : Soon to be student, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Lower middle class,Hi Bob. It's nice to hear you're taking an interest in our bodies. I had my first period at 14, which was a good age, because by then I had learned the basics and was expecting the day when it finally arrived. I'd have to say it's a pain, but a necessary part of female existence if one wants to bear children later in life. It is a nuisance, even if I feel more aroused than normal during my period. I think it's good to discuss this kind of issue with people so there aren't any misunderstandings or taboo kinds of issues that can lead to someone feeling uncomfortable. I'm not sure if many women would appreciate a man badgering her to have sex with her during her menstrual cycle, and I'd hope men respect women and their bodies and are understanding when it comes to that time of the month.User Detail :
Name : Sarah28145, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Asian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 20, City : Wellington, State : NA Country : New Zealand, Occupation : Student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,
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