[Matt]

My sister has William's Syndrome, a little-known, very rare (1 in 20,000) disablity that gives kids physical, emotional and educational problems. While William's kids do have a certain "look," it is not as recognizable as a Down's look, etc., because it is so rare. This leads to funny looks from strangers when my 10-year-old sister (who looks like a normal kid) does things such as fussing and whining over small things, etc. I get embarrassed by my sister doing these things, and strangers just thinking she's a spoiled brat. Is this right? My parents says she's my sister, and I should learn to live with it. Also, my parents say this does not reflect on me, just them, because they are the parents. I say they are wrong, it reflects on everyone with her, including me. What do other people think. If you saw a 10-year-old girl who looks normal doing something like crying and whining over small things, what would you think of her, and the people with her?

User Detail :  

Name : Matt, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Jewish, Age : 15, City : Arlington, State : MA Country : United States, Occupation : High School Student, Education level : Less than High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, 

[D.G. Brown]

My sister, who is just a year younger than I, is a high-functioning autistic. I can relate very much to what you're saying. Aside from her posture (she slouches sometimes), she appears as a perfectly normal person. This is only appearence, though. Even at 18, she still throws tantrums in stores, screams, yells, cries and just about everything that should make me feel self-conscious in those public places. What I've learned has been a difficult lesson, but a good one. First, I know that I can't apply the world's rules of logic to her. This means that anything can happen at any time and it's not her fault The second thing is the realization that I don't care what people around me think. She's my sister and I love her more than anything in this world. Your concern shouldn't be with image. Trust me on this. You've got to be a good big brother for your sister. You've got to be there for her and try to understand her, no matter how frustrating it gets. And never be ashamed of her, please, just never be ashamed of her. In many ways you're blessed to have her as a sister. Trust me on that, too.

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Name : D.G. Brown, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 19, City : Tigard, State : OR Country : United States, Occupation : College Student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Beth]

I understand how bad being embarrassed in public can make you feel. My brother is not disabled but throughout my childhood I was known as the sister of Daniel the weirdo. He used to wear deliberately awful-looking clothes and spoke in a voice that nobody else used. Even now as an adult he has this amazing ability to embarrass me in public. Obviously my situation is enormously different, and I was perhaps able to argue and fight with my brother in a way that you are not with your sister. I know that people will always say to you that it doesn't matter what other people think, and that the only opinions you should really care about are from your friends and family. Of course that's true, but it doesn't prevent embarrassment. The only thing that prevents embarrassment is having enormous self-confidence, something I'm getting more of the older I get.

By the way, if I saw you with your 10-year-old sister while she was crying/whining, I would think how mature and responsible you are to look after your sister when she is upset. Big cars and expensive trainers aren't the only things that impress people.

User Detail :  

Name : Beth, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 24, City : Edinburgh, State : NA Country : United Kingdom, Occupation : Post Graduate Student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Mike L.]

My understanding of Williams' Syndrome is that your sister, although challenged with limitations in her reasoning, has extremely heightened hearing, musical ability and emotional depth. You need to understand that no two people receive information the same way, and less so for your sister.

However, as you continue to finish your education, you need to understand that you will, more and more, learn to appreciate your sister's heightened abilities as gifts. Compared to the person you are going to be when you are 25, right now, you are a mess. Otherwise, there would be no further need to educate you, and you would be on your way to the world of the working week at the age of 15.

I'm not saying it's easy, just that you need to understand that you will be compensated for your patience, if you don't abuse your situation too much.

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Name : Mike L., Gender : M, Age : 29, City : Walnut Creek, State : CA Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, 

[Tina24605]

I think your feelings about your sister are very normal and that you shouldn't make things harder on yourself by feeling guilt about them. You are 15 years old and at an age where you feel as though everyone notices everything about you. This is normal too. People will tell you that it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks but anyone who remembers accurately what it feels like to be a teenager will understand that is not a helpful statement. I would try to focus on the important things. Your sister can't help herself. She deserves your compassion and love. I think it is sad for you that your parents don't understand that her disability affects your life every bit as much as theirs. I would try to cultivate some other avenues of support. Friends, religous and school leaders etc. Remember that your life is important too and try to develop your own interests and goals. Good luck to you.

User Detail :  

Name : Tina24605, City : Eastpointe, State : MI Country : United States, 

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