Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 39 replies, 37 voices, and was last updated 18 years, 4 months ago by
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- Well, I would have to say yes and no to your question. You see, it is possible to be attracted to the differences evident in races (I myself have had this). However, very rarely is the black race idealized as being beautiful. Yes, we do have a few like Halle Berry, or Vanessa Williams, but even these women almost always prescribe to a whiter standard of beauty than black. How many black women in the media that are portrayed as beautiful will have very dark skin, hair in a natural style, and a thick 36-30-42, 145-pound body frame, typical of an average-sized African American woman? Therefore for these reasons, black men are often geared to want white women before their own, especially the successful black men. To them, the white woman because of how she has been idealized in the media is a status symbol. The thought of also having light-skinned children with curly hair may also be a factor for them, especially if they have been teased all their lives for being dark. On the other hand though, some may date white women the same reason why black women date white men; they feel they are treated better by the other group. Others may do it because there may be few blacks around in the areas they live at; whites are the only choices for mating & dating. I myself though don't care about black men dating white women, as I have had plenty of men of all races attracted to me to worry about what one group is doing. I think more black women should take this attitude.
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Name : Kristina, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 20, City : Washington, State : DC Country : United States, Occupation : Transcriber, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,I just want to know why the black guys end up with the really fat, ugly white girls. You can't tell me the black guys are attracted to THOSE women!! Puuleeease!!User Detail :
Name : Cindy31947, City : New York, State : NY Country : United States,I think there are probably a lot of different factors that contribute to this phenomenon, but one of the big ones is the media, especially television. I do not believe most people watch television critically and thoughtfully; therefore, a large part of the population propably tends to subconsciously accept what TV tells us about female beauty: it is white, it is thin, submissive and has big boobs. It's hard to find beautiful black women on TV, with the possible exception of music videos, but I don't believe women are appropriately portrayed there, either.The first guy I kissed was black. I was 14, he was 15. I realize that what motivates teenagers and adults are two different things, but I remember that his race was a non-issue to me - until my parents threw a fit about it. It didn't occur to me that his blackness would matter to anyone; I thought that was the old-school racism of the 1950s. It shows how naive I was! All I saw was a sweet, attractive boy who seemed to think I was sweet and attractive. I wish all of society could feel that way.
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Name : Erin25265, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Pagan, Age : 21, City : Shelbyville, State : KY Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,I feel that people will be attracted to other people, regardless of race. As for myself, I am Filipino, and I find Black and Hispanic women attractive, not to say that Filipino women aren't, but that just happens to be my preference. This question of black/white preference should be the prerogative of that individual. I think the reason why people write and ask about these things, is because deep down inside, it bothers them to the point that they lose sleep and want to find out why it is so. Personally, if someone finds someone outside their race attractive outside of looks, i.e. personality, intelligence, etc. then I have no qualms of why they shouldn't be together. In my part of town, I was at the mall, and what seemed to me at every glance was a black/white couple strolling. I wasn't phased by it, nor did I think anything of it either. I just feel that if one has mutual feelings for another of a diff. race then I don't have any problems with it.User Detail :
Name : Christion, Gender : M, Race : Asian, Age : 24, City : Los Angeles, State : CA Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper class,I'm a white,European female who has dated all races and I can confirm that guys of other races like me for the same reasons that white guys like me - coz I'm intelligent, easy-going, friendly, funny, quirky,low-maintenance, and cute! I hate drama, don't take life too seriously and am open minded. I am most definately not particularly 'freaky' and I take shit from no-one. I think those who list negative/shallow reasons why 'we' white women date black men, or why 'they' date 'us' reveal a desperate need for self validation (at the expense of others). And the idea that people of the same race have an innate ability to provide, what other races can't, for those of their own race is absurd. As someone who has and continues to have meaningful relationships with those of other races, I am living proof that we all have something unique to offer others that is not restricted to those of our own race.User Detail :
Name : Jay20860, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, City : New York, State : NY Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Someone's comment that white women are 'freaknasties' in bed is extremely thought-provoking and deserves attention concerning how culture has evolved. Historically, male slave owners have always gravitated toward the beautiful black women slaves for more excitement in bed. Thier wives ascribed to the Puritan mentality of sexuality - for reproduction only. So, now, perhaps, black American culture is beginning to steer black women toward Puritanism, while white culture is pushing white women to break the long held chains of history that have restrained their sexual enjoyment.User Detail :
Name : Jessica, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 23, City : Huntsville, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Why don't you talk to some black guys about it? Then compare what they say to the comments of black women. After all, you live in SC. There is bound to be a lot of racial baggage, but you might get some perspective. Blacks have a higher female to male ratio. White women are preferred as trophy mates for the same reason by Blacks as they are by Caucasions. Afro Americans have a matriarchal culture, males are often given prominance, but little power. European women come from a culture where they are given lip service and denied control. (Do I see a common bond here?) Many males will 'pimp' on a women whether she is white or black. To a lot of Black males that is one of very few options available. Then, of course, there is always love.User Detail :
Name : Bob23122, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 56, City : Prince George's County, State : MD Country : United States,I can't speak for all black males who date white women. But I find them much more intelligent. They want to better themselves, unlike black females, who are looking for someone to always do for them instead of them doing for themselves. It's also almost impossible to find a black female 18 to 30 who doesn't have 2 or 3 kids by 2 or 3 different men. Seventy percent of black children are born in single-parent homes. What's that say about black females?Plus, to hold a conversation with a black female whose vocabulary doesn't extend past MF and Bitch is almost impossible. Black females' lives seem to revolve around what other black females are doing - 'this ho and that ho' - and it's tired. White women have so much more to offer. Black women's whole being seems to revolve around their booty. It's sad. Instead of always putting down black men, raise yourselves up.
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Name : Jake21070, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Baptist, Age : 33, City : lawton, State : OK Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I've dated Black women, White women, and Asian women, but mostly Black women. I agree that the reasons that Black men date interracially are complex and not the same for all people. Some people date out of self-hatred. Some people date because of stereotypes. Some people date to experiment. Some people have been raised in predominanly white environments that make them feel more comfortable around white people than Blacks. Some people just don't care about race in the dating context. I think for me it's been a little of each on different occasions. One idea that I don't hear to often is that some people want to get away from the familial aspect of dating someone of the same race. I have a biological sister and I don't want to date anyone who looks too much like my sister because I don't want to think about my sister when I'm in a sexual relationship (incest, no thanks). I want some aspect of foreignness in whomever I date. There can be an aspect of foreignness when dating within my own race because not every Black woman looks like my sister. But it clearly happens when I date outside of my race because there are no white or asian women who look much like anyone in my family.User Detail :
Name : Tubbs, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 28, City : Silver Spring, State : MD Country : United States, Occupation : between jobs, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I am a Black woman and I agree Black men do go there because of the comments made by Black women also, I agree with you. I think Black men find White women more appealing not because they are, because all women are beautiful, but because thats the message society has sent us. You being a White man should know this, White women are portrayed as beautiful and better whether a wife, girlfriend or friend. White women are considered the standard of beauty and like all men, Black men want a woman that is considered beautiful also. I think Black men and not as many men from other races seek White women because Black women are not considered beautiful and appealing and Black women lack White features like Asian, Hispanic and other women. Black men are seeking White women because they want what all men want, a beautiful woman. Look at it this way, if the majority of the people in the U.S. where Black/African American with Black features and if Black women where considered beautiful and appealing by socitey, Black men, White men and other men would seek Black women because thats what would be considered beatiful. Things would be the other way around and White women would be losing out on the dating game, while White men chased Black women (only if things were the other way around). Unfortunately for Black women most of us are not considered Beautiful, if we were, the majority of interracial relationships would not exist because Black men would be happy with their woman, their beautiful Black woman.User Detail :
Name : Tiffany-Hill24233, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Baptist, Age : 23, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,I would like to say on my behalf that all the black/white couples I know are together because they have a connection.I know black males who go after white women but only because they are attracted to them. I belive as time continues on our generation will mix more because we belive there is nothing wrong with mixing, each indivual is just that, AN INDIVUAL we have our own prererences and and go after whoever we find attractive dispite race or religion and pre-cincieved notions about each race or religion.User Detail :
Name : J. Smith, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 14, City : Buffalo, State : NY Country : United States, Occupation : student-high school, Social class : Middle class,Statistically speaking, blacks in the U.S. do not date outside of the black community. The black communtiy being people who have any genetic connection to africa (one drop rule). Once again the media has pumped this up. With the help of white folks racist mythology. The numbers per the last census taken. 30% of the asians marry interracially. Asain women doing it the most. Latins come in second at about 20%. Black women 2% and black men 4%. This per their population groups. If you don't believe it? look it up for yourselves. Also, what looks one way is not always so. There are millions of people in this country where as you can not tell their race. Many black men are married to women that appear to be white but they have black or latin ancestry. Whites made up the one drop rule not us black folk. My wife appears to be white she is even blonde, but genetically she is not even close to pure white. There are so many others in her background. And my reality is that I really have just 40% african ancestry, although I am not ashamed of any of it. I think that I am great just how I came to this earth and so is she. If you are a person waiting for some pureness to come around so you can marry, whether that person be pure white, pure asian, or pure black, you will wait a long time. marry for love people! It works! Maybe half of our marriages will stop ending in divorce.User Detail :
Name : Moe20299, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 38, City : Portland, State : OR Country : United States, Occupation : Network Admin, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,One could always flip the coin when it comes to interracial relationships. There a number of white men who date black women. Myths aside, I think in a basic sence, we are drawn to what appeals to us. It doesn't always follow accepted paths. There's also some curiousity as to what lies on the 'other side'. The whole thing of 'forbiden fruit' tasting sweeter, or 'are they really better in bed', does play into it. But if you find someone who you really like, then i'd say you have to play out the hand, and see where it takes you...User Detail :
Name : chris32164, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 45, City : burlington, State : NJ Country : United States, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class,Many of you have touched on the issue of black men forming relationships w/ white women b/c they are more likely to take their 'sh!t'. Though that's another issue entirely; why is it assumed that all black men have this 'sh!t' to give? Anyways, in my situation I don't interact with many young black women at all. My school is predominately white. As is my neighborhood and as are the settings of the organizations to which I belong. What is one to do then? I'll have to admit I'm not entirely into the mainstream black woman. The fake hair, nails, eyes, et cetera and the inescapable 'niggerism', as my mother so eloquently puts it. The idea of waking up to a 'sista' sans her weave and her make-up is frightening to me. In my future, however, I do envision at least one of my marriages to be with an African American woman. It's just that said woman is going to need that light skin, that naturally straight hair and those beautiful blue, green, hazel or light brown eyes that I love so much. Adios.User Detail :
Name : Naj, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/Italian/Native American (Ima Sambo), Religion : Episcopalian, Age : 16, City : Miami, State : FL Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Social class : Upper middle class,Why do I always see arab men with blonde women? they just use them for one thing. Its like they dont even like their own culture. As soon as they go to europe or usa they instantly want someone who appears 'white'. But in the end they just marry a virgin arab girl. But frankly choosing a white girl is favouring another culture than to one's own, which is wrong as to be proud of one self, one must stick to one's own culture. Are we seeing that by marrying a white woman that our race is less superior, and that by marrying one we become superior ourselves? from 20 year old, englandUser Detail :
Name : Leilani, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Disability : normal, Race : persian/arab, Religion : Muslim, Age : 20, City : london, State : CA Country : United Kingdom, Occupation : student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,
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