Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 29 replies, 30 voices, and was last updated 18 years, 6 months ago by
.
- Posts
- Why do some people get so defensive about letting gay couples marry? For those who oppose gay marriage, please tell me how you think it would affect your life personally. I would appreciate a valid, respectful response.
User Detail :
Name : T. Wright, Gender : F, City : Pine Grove, State : CA Country : United States,I am 15 and a proud gay male. I am very used to debating gay marriage, so I'll try to explain the opposition's point of view. They usually argue that the 'Institution of Marriage' will be diminished more than it is right now. By allowing same-sex marriage, they think it will open the door for other types of marriage other than 'a man and a woman,' such as an animal and a person and an inanimate object (such as a computer) to a person. This makes no sense, since marriage should be between two consenting adults. An animal does not have the discretion to give consent, therefore it cannot legally marry.Another thing they use is that by allowing same-sex marriage the children will somehow be affected. There have been hundreds of studies by the ACLU, Children's Pediatric Association and American Psychological Society. All state that children from same-sex homes are not more likely to be involved in crime, suffer mental or psychological illnesses, be homosexuals themselves, or be confused about their sexuality. When comparing homosexsual couples to heterosexual couples, the studies showed that the children who are more psychologically better are the children who received more love and attention, regardless of sexuality.
Many people who debate against gay marraige do not know the facts but let themselves be led by pure emotion and morallity according to their religion. The last time I checked, we had a First Amendment right to have freedom of religion, but does this not also protect the right to be free FROM religion?
User Detail :
Name : Kevin, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Religion : Atheist, Age : 17, City : Los Angeles, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class,I have mixed views about same-sex marriage. I don't really oppose it because I don't think that civil marriage, in and of itself, is really 'marriage' in a social/spiritual sense. Some folks would argue that, though it may not affect them personally, it will affect society in general (and they are right), and therefore it is everyone's business because everyone is part of society. Why do men take positions on abortion? Why do whites take positions on racism? Presumably, it does not affect them personally. But it does affect their society and therefore it is their business to take a stance. People against same-sex marriage believe it will damage society, that it will further damage the institution of marriage, and that it will further encourage young gay people to enter a lifestyle that gay rights opponents consider degrading, destructive and sinful.User Detail :
Name : Tom24126, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 19, City : Yonkers, State : NY Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,You say "People against same-sex marriage believe it will damage society.' How exactly will it damage society? If you were to fall in love with a woman, marry her and have a family, how exactly would the fact that your neighbors were two married gay men affect your family? You say "that it will further damage the institution of marriage." Again, exactly how would two women marrying have any effect on your marriage, or any other marriage? You say "that it will further encourage young gay people to enter a lifestyle that gay rights opponents consider degrading, destructive and sinful." These gay rights opponents consider promiscuous sex sinful, so why wouldn't committed sex be better? Actually, they consider gay sex to be sinful no matter whether it is committed or not, and they do not want a gay man to marry their daughter, so they really want gay people to commit themselves to a life of loneliness and chastity. Is it any wonder that gay people object? Personally I think straight people have a lot to answer for in the way of destroying marriage ("Do you want to marry a millionaire?", 80-year-old movie stars marrying 20-year-old women, etc.). Also, abortion does personally affect men (since without it they would be fathers) and racism does personally affect whites (since they get advantages over blacks).User Detail :
Name : James D., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 47, City : Summit, State : NJ Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College,I think people get defensive because they are trying to get in other people's business. They are trying to make the world the way they want it to be, instead of focusing on their own family. It does not affect their life if two gay people get married. They don't like homosexuals and don't want them to be equal to them. It is the same as racism. It is not as bad as what black people went through, but the same mentality is behind it. They oppose it because it is different from how they are.As far as its effects on society, there are none. Men have veiws on abortion and whites have views on racism because these do affect innocent people. I don't have any serious views on abortion but it does 'kill,' and racism hurts people mentally and physically. If a gay couple get married, more than likely you won't know about it; it doesn't hurt anybody, and it is between those two people. People are saying it is hurting the sanctity of 'marriage' or whatever, but straight people already can get married and divorce or annul their marriage in less than 3 days. I didn't realize that is what marriage meant. If a heterosexual couple can do that, then a homosexual couple should be able to do that.
People should stay out of other people's business because it does not affect them or society at all. Religion shouldn't play a part in it, either, but it does, even with the politicians. This is because the Bible started the whole 'homosexuality is wrong' thing.
User Detail :
Name : AC, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : Black/African American, Age : 26, City : Orlando, State : FL Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College,I am bisexual, but I need to be honest about this. I am against gay marriage because marriage is a religious sacrament. If gays wanted civil unions, I would be less opposed, but I still feel in the end that it all has to do with obtaining health benefits and such. I am sorry for saying that, but I really feel that many want these rights for health care and social security benefits. And if we allow gays to have civil unions, where does it stop? We will then be forced to recognize polygamy and maybe even more. Where will the benefits train stop, and how much can our country handle before it is simply too much to bear? I am not angry, like you think some are. I just feel it is a sham to get to the money train for some. While not all are in on that, I think the ones who are pushing this agenda are in on it. I am speaking as an atheist also, so I am not a religious nut or such.User Detail :
Name : Dominic, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, City : Harleysville, State : PA Country : United States, Occupation : Busines owner, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Upper class,I don't oppose it but I don't think it should be called a marriage. I think it should be called a union, or something along those lines. I always think of a marriage as between a man and a woman.User Detail :
Name : Anna, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 23, City : Plainville, State : KS Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,The right-wingers in the U.S. Congress and many, not all, churches have tried to say that when same-sex civil marriages were permitted in several Scandinavian countries, marriage rates and such declined and their societies fell to pieces. They were almost completely wrong. Marriage rates were already on the decline, and they actually went up following their recognition of marriage for every citizen. We want to be a part of this very 'conservative' marriage ideal. Denying us the right to get some of the benefits afforded straight couples also deinies it to our children. There are millions of same-sex families in the United States, and they are the ones being punished because of ignorance in the name of religion (which I thought our government was supposed to stay out of). We have always been around and we will always be around. It's your choice to let us sit at the table or not. You condemn us for being promiscuous, and the moment we want to commit monogamously, you say 'no way.' In a Democratic society of the people, all should be welcome.User Detail :
Name : Michael, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Recovering Catholic, Age : 39, City : Fouquette, State : CA Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,You are a very smart young man and I look forward to whatever mark you make in the world when you get older. Keep it up!User Detail :
Name : Josh29129, Gender : M, City : Alexandria, State : VA Country : United States,The gay marriage question should be a moot point. The Christian Right seems to be challenged by same-sex marriages. I do not get it, either. Sure there is a reason, but nobody can give me a good one. Thirty-two graphic homicides on the major networks every evening between 8 and 11 and these people watching it are the same people concerned about same-sex marriages. Wake up, people.User Detail :
Name : R Hunt, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 59, City : Lake Placid, State : FL Country : United States, Occupation : Sales, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Josh, that was an informed and articulate explanation of how many in the opposition feel. I'd like to elaborate in that a core reason is also simply that people are afraid of change, especially during uncertain times. This is part of the appeal of organized religion. Who doesn't want to feel validated? One of the best ways to accomplish this is by belonging to a group of like-minded individuals. Ironically, at the beginning of the last century, many states had laws against biracial marriage, not to mention that the public overwhelmingly disapproved of it. History teaches us that equality is rarely ever achieved without struggle.User Detail :
Name : Frankie, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 37, City : Dallas, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : IT, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I listen to a Christian radio show daily (AFA Reports) just to hear them argue against same-sex marriage (which they do daily). Their reasons never make sense, like about children. They say same-sex marriage will destroy the lives of children. Of course, it won't, and nobody really has proof either way, but anyway... What does marriage have to do with children? I know plenty of same-sex couples with children, none of which are legally married. Of course they quote the Bible...blah blah blah.. I have also heard that it will lead to polygamy and a breakdown of marriage in general. Legalizing gay marriage is putting into law what God himself has called an abomination (blah blah). Children will have to start learning about homosexual relationships as early as kindergarten. But the dumbest argument I ever heard was taxes will go up because gay people will need more welfare and assistance for their children. That just makes no sense because a single parent (gay or straight) is more likely to need assistance than a legally married couple. It's frustrating, but I listen day after day and just smile as they complain about gay people getting the rights they want and Christians doing nothing to stop them.User Detail :
Name : Leanne, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 24, City : Fort Smith, State : AR Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College,My personal religious belief is that homosexual sex is immoral, and that marriage ought to be a sacred institution defined by God. Whether it is sacred in practice is another story, but I veiw morality as being about what it should be and not what it really is. However, I believe laws in a society with many religions should reflect the moral standards that the majority of society feels people need to abide by in order to preserve an orderly society. What bothers me most about the gay marriage issue is how it has been ordered almost entirely by courts or sometimes local officials - realistically, we need a national definition established by elected officials in order to avoid some rather thorny legal issues.I am willing to accept that a definition established by Congress is the law of the land, even if it does not match my religious beliefs. I think the most viable option might be to have some other sort of legal formality for same-sex couples - and possibly people in various nonsexual relationships who depend on each other economically - to share the same legal rights a married couple does. But whatever happens, I realize that gay marriage laws are not likely to change the number of gay people - nor are they likely to change the reasons people like me have for believing homosexual acts are wrong. It's some of the tactics being used to push for legalizing gay marriage that bother me, more than anything else about the issue.
User Detail :
Name : Matt, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 25, City : Oxford, State : GA Country : United States, Occupation : Engineer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I have listened for years to arguments for an against gay marriage. Top of the list is the absolute belief that marriage has always been an institution between man and woman santicfied by God. Fact of the matter is, it couldn't be farther from the truth. Different societies and cultures have had a variety of forms of marriage all dependent on the need of the society. A single Eskimo man would marry sisters. It was primarily so that a wife, left alone in the igloo wouldn't go crazy from a lack of adult conversation, and the solid belief that sisters would get along better than two unrelated women. Arab cultures to this day still practice polygamy. In some native American cultures, a strong warrior or respected man had several mates. One island society was known to have a grand ceremony that effectively married everyone to everyone. These societies created marital institutions that met their societal needs. Now it can be argued that these are all non-Christian societies. But arguably, the US is not a uniformly Christian society either. But ultimately, marriage comes down to two aspects. What a church recognizes and what the state recognizes. And as one of the primary foundations of our country is separation of church and state, as long as any two people are willing to abide by the agreements a marriage license requires they should be eligible for those rights. If any given church chooses not to sanctify a marriage by their religion that is their choice. And by the same token, no matter what law that outlaws gay marriages, if a church chooses to perform a gay marriage, then it is santictifed by God.User Detail :
Name : Jon Anderson, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 30, City : Seattle, State : WA Country : United States, Occupation : Patient Care Coordinator, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,I think that most people do not realize that there were very sinilar laws against inter-racial marriages not too long ago and the outroar against inter-racial marriages was about the same. I think that the gay marriage issue will be resolved in the same fashion as the inter-racial issue was solved. So far as the religious issue against homosexuality I think there are people who would like to believe they are special and choosen to be special but they are only special to themselves!User Detail :
Name : toni, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : a-sexual, Disability : neuological, Race : American Indian, Religion : Native American, Age : 42, City : cheney, State : WA Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.