After the Honeymoon

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  • #11116

    Joan30563
    Participant
    To people of interracial marriages, especially black/white: Has it been difficult for you when socializing with your mate's group of friends? Do you feel just as comfortable with people of your color as you do with people of your mate's color? My daughter is dating black men, and I am afraid. I've only heard bad reports (not about the men, but about interracial marriages). Let me hear some good ones, from people who've been married five or more years.
    Original Code R344. Click here to see responses from the original archives. Click "to respond" below to reply.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Joan30563, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, City : Seattle, State : WA Country : United States, 
    #40692

    Jessica
    Participant
    I've been dating a black man for almost a year, and we are becoming quite serious. My parents have great concern with this, not because they have a problem with black people, but because they are afraid I might be socially stigmatized by my relationship with him. For example, they say some white boys may not want to date me. I don't need ignorant individuals like that in my life, anyway. Or they ask me how I will feel about the looks I get pushing a dark baby through our suburban mall. Like Joan, I'm looking for a few words of support and wisdom, but I could really use some advice on how to ease my parents' fears. How well-founded are they?

    User Detail :  

    Name : Jessica, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 22, City : Framingham, State : MA Country : United States, Occupation : teacher, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, 
    #34023

    Stacey-P
    Participant
    Your parents' fears are justified. Despite all the hype about racial equality, etc., this country is becoming more and more racially divided. I have noticed that white people especially are becoming less and less tolerant of white women having babies with non-whites. Childhood is hard enough these days; why would you want to make it even harder by having biracial children, who often are treated like outcasts, rejected by both blacks and whites?

    User Detail :  

    Name : Stacey-P, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Believer, Age : 24, City : Los Angeles, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Law student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #15780

    John K.
    Participant
    This sounds very familiar. My parents always have something to say about a biracial couple when they see them in public. They find biracial couples very offensive. They claim that they feel this way because of the inevitable stigma that would be placed on any biracial children, but that is just a lame excuse. The only people who would discriminate against biracial children are the ones with a problem with biracial relationships, so it is a circular argument. Your parents are trying to push their racism onto you. Think about the assumptions that go into their side of the argument, and you will see what I mean. If you are comfortable with your relationship, then do not let the closed-minded thinking of others get in the way.

    User Detail :  

    Name : John K., Gender : M, Age : 26, City : Cranford, State : NJ Country : United States, Occupation : Chemical Engineer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #34037

    Stephani S.
    Participant
    I am a black female and have been married to a white man for 6.5 years. In all of our years together, if anyone has had a problem with us, we have not been aware of it. We love each other completely, and that's all that matters. His parents treat me as if I had always been their daughter, and my parents love my husband. Our circle of friends is a rainbow of different colors and cultures ranging from Nigeria to The Netherlands, and we all feel more than comfortable around one another. Why shouldn't we? For all intents and purposes, we're family. I guess it just depends on whether you or your daughter are looking for negativity. If you are, rest assured you'll find it. But you may also find that she could be missing out on a totally fulfilling relationship.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Stephani S., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Seventh-Day Adventist, Age : 30, City : Woodbridge, State : VA Country : United States, Occupation : Homemaker, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Upper middle class, 
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