[Pratik]

I wonder why most females are offended when they are addressed as 'ma'am'... it's just a way to give respect to a lady elder.

User Detail :  

Name : Pratik, Gender : M, City : Fargo, State : ND Country : United States, 

[Laurie-Brandt28771]

When I was growing up, we used 'ma'am' on stuffy, white-haired, boring old women. So now when I'm called 'ma'am' I think that's how you see me. I don't associate it with a term of respect. Remember, we baby boomers remember when we were teenagers, and then we were the most important people on earth, and we thought of ourselves as extremely 'hip' and in-the-know. So it hurts to be called 'ma'am'! But strictly speaking, it is a term of respect.

User Detail :  

Name : Laurie-Brandt28771, Gender : F, Age : 55, City : boston, State : MA Country : United States, 

[Teresa28661]

There is nothing wrong with addressing a woman as 'ma'am,' and I believe that the decline of this practice is one more sign of general courtesy slipping away in our generation. It seems that the title 'ma'am' is applied according to the age or relationship of the woman. Many women these days are in denial of their aging. Some seem to believe that being called 'ma'am' means that they are old and that 'their time has passed'--or even worse, simply 'look old.' It's probably all related to the obsession of youth and youthful beauty in our culture. There are many ways in which women try to deny or delay their aging, and a negative reaction to the word ma'am is just one part of it. Don't ask me why men and women of all ages buy into that stuff. You can call me ma'am all you want, and many people do.

User Detail :  

Name : Teresa28661, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 21, City : Gurnee, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : student, 

[Merry B.]

Well you certainly used the right word when you chose 'elder'. Unlike men, women tend to be 'devalued' as they age. Men become 'distinguished', women just get old. You often see older men with younger, sometimes MUCH younger, women but it's seldom you see an older lady on the arm of a young stud. Becuase of this societal truth, that young women are valued more than old ladies, we women tend toward sensitivity regarding any implication that we are 'elder' and thus of lesser value. And besides, the word 'ma'am' is a contraction of 'madam' and we all know what a madam does....

User Detail :  

Name : Merry B., Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 42, City : Atlanta, State : GA Country : United States, Social class : Middle class, 

[Dwanny]

Speaking for myself, when someone calls me ma'am, it sounds so old. I guess like if someone called you Mr. Soandso, you'd probably think they're talking to your dad. I accept aging without any problems, but there are a couple of things that catch you by surprise, and that's one of them.

User Detail :  

Name : Dwanny, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Pagan, Age : 53, City : Springtown, State : TX Country : United States, 

[MG28773]

It makes us feel old. That's why. I also was raised to say ma'am and know it is meant as a term of respect but now that I am the one being called ma'am it just makes me feel old, not respected.

User Detail :  

Name : MG28773, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 34, City : Jax, State : FL Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Brad]

Some women don't like to think of themselves as an 'elder'. We give it as a sign of respect, they (not ALL women, mind you) take it as a sign of getting old. They're just a little sensitive. YOU did nothing wrong.

User Detail :  

Name : Brad, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 33, City : Winchester, State : VA Country : United States, Occupation : Computer tech, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 

[Mara]

There are two possibilities. 1) Ma'am is the contraction of 'madam'. The modern meaning of Madam isn't something a lot of women like to be called. 2) That even though you mean it as a term of respect, it also indicated a certain...maturity...in a woman. Historically, women have been valued for their youth and beauty, NOT for their maturity. (that's why it's considered impolite to ask a woman her age) Calling a woman 'ma'am' is like calling her an old lady.

User Detail :  

Name : Mara, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 40, City : Atlanta, State : GA Country : United States, Occupation : data entry, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, 

[QTCaliGurl]

You stated in your own question exactly WHY women get offended. You did nothing wrong, but when you refer to someone as "ma'am" she feels like she is "a lady elder" as you put it. No one wants to be made to feel old, even if they are quite a bit older than you.

User Detail :  

Name : QTCaliGurl, City : The Valley, State : CA Country : United States, 

[L.H.]

I have noticed that same thing. Whenever I respond to women with a "yes, ma'am" or "no, ma'am" there is an immediate and visible shutter. "What, do you think I am old?" "Am I your boss?" I don't think I will ever stop responding that way although. It's just the way I was raised.

User Detail :  

Name : L.H., Gender : Male, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 23, City : Greenville, State : MS Country : United States, 

[KayeWatson]

I think it's mostly a geographical thing. I was raised in Texas and now reside in Louisiana. I call women ma'am, and not just my elders. I see it as a term of respect, not a way of calling a woman old. When I visit my brother in Iowa the clerks at stores give me dirty looks when I forget and call them ma'am. It's different down south. I'd call little girls ma'am and they light up in big smiles over being treated like a lady. I call women my own age or older ma'am and they don't react at all. They just expect it.

User Detail :  

Name : KayeWatson, Gender : Female, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : American, Religion : no religion, Age : 26, City : Hammond, State : LA Country : United States, Occupation : homemaker, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Anne]

Exactly.. women don't want to be reminded they are old. Even worse, when people call strangers "ma'am" that are close to/ younger than them, for lack of a better word. Just be polite; saying please and thank you is respectful.

User Detail :  

Name : Anne, Gender : Female, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 24, City : Iowa City, State : IA Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 

[jacobhamil]

because it makes them feel old. I would advise you to only do that to women you don't like...lol Works like a charm everytime..lol

User Detail :  

Name : jacobhamil, City : atlanta, State : GA Country : United States, 

[Marianne]

Oh, how I wish more people would use the word "ma'am"! I've actually had 20 year olds address me as "dude".OMG!

User Detail :  

Name : Marianne, Gender : Female, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Jewish, Age : 54, City : Portland, State : OR Country : United States, Occupation : Stage Manager, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[c.crowe]

It seems to depend on where you live. When I hear it, it reminds me that I'm old, when I don't feel old. I'd rather people didn't use any particular term of "respect" toward me (miss or ma'am or any of it). Here, young women are not addressed as "ma'am", I don't know if that's the case everywhere. I don't want to be reminded by some random guy that I've hit "ma'am" age and am no longer a "miss". At least not yet. Ask me again in 20 years! I know young men mean no disrespect by it and are trying to use good manners!! But it gives me an odd feeling, not a feeling I'm being respected. It's not you, it's me ;) Lots of middle aged women have aging issues.

User Detail :  

Name : c.crowe, Gender : Female, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 38, City : toronto, State : NA Country : Canada, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 

[Author]

Posts