[Amy]

I'm the mother of two daughters, ages 7 and almost 9, and have never, not once, touched my kids in anger. Why do people spank? If it's an effective punishment, why do you have to spank a child more than once? Why do those who spank assume that a parent who doesn't is raising hellions? For those who spank, is it truly about teaching your child right and wrong or is it about venting your frustration and anger on their butt in an attempt to beat the lesson into them? Do you feel in control when you spank?

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Name : Amy, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 36, City : Metro Detroit, State : MI Country : United States, Occupation : Mom, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Ann L. Lowenstein]

Here's an illustrative example from my own family: When my cousin, Ryan was about four, he discovered that the best possible attention-getter in the whole wide world was to run into the kitchen and turn on the gas for the stove burners. It got him loads and loads of attention from Mommy and Daddy every single time he did it. Mommy would sit him down at the table and lecture him for ten minutes about how icky-bad that was, and how it was danger-anger-ousie-wousi, and how he should be more responsible and not do that-er-wat-ers, and so on, then he'd be sent to his time-out corner for the 'age-appropriate' two-to-three minutes. When my parents visited at Thanksgiving that year, this adorable little game had been going on for nearly six months. My parents watched about half-a-dozen repeats of this activity over the course of about three hours, then took my uncle (who wasn't quite as brainwashed as his wife would have preferred) aside, and suggested that next time Ryan ran in the kitchen and started to turn the burner control knobs, my uncle should slap him once on the back of the hand and bark 'NO!', and see what happened. What happened, (aside from my darling aunt just about having a stroke on the spot over his 'vicious abuse'), is that dear little Ryan stood there with a look of complete shock on his face for about 30 seconds, then ran to his time out corner ALL BY HIMSELF, and stayed there for nearly 20 minutes... Oh, yes, and never played with the burner controls again. Every parental-care-giving life-form on the face of the planet (except of course for good little Leftist Yuppie housewives) uses some form of corporal punishment if its young get out-of-control. Your sniff-piss assumption that 'corporal punishment' = 'abuse', and is done solely out of 'mean vicious, brutal aggressive anger' is typically simplistic and judgemental. Oh, and people assume you're raising brats because there's a good chance you are.

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Name : Ann L. Lowenstein, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Animist, Age : 37, City : K.C., State : MO Country : United States, Occupation : Administrative Assistant, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Michael]

I can't answer for anyone else, but I do know that when I was growing up the thought of getting a spanking often kept me on the straight and narrow. I spank my kids for the same reason, and to let them know that there are tangible consequences for their actions. It's not about being in control, but it is a control mechanism. Finally, it worked for me, and as the old saying goes, 'If it ain't broke, don't fix it.' I see no reason to tweak a formula that has worked for generations just for the sake of novelty. Remember 'New Coke'? Don't take this the wrong way, but your questions put me in mind of a parent who doesn't spend much time with her kids, because you speak as though once you punish a child for something - whether the punishment be corporal or not - the child should never commit that act (or omission) again. (I analogize it to you saying, 'Why put criminals in prison? If it's an effective punishment, why do we have repeat offenders?') As a parent, I am quite sure you know that children will continue to do a certain thing even when you have told them not to and punished them for that activity in the past. Long story short, it's difeerent strokes for different folks. If sidetsepping corporal punishment works for you, then go for it. As a child I always thought it was abominable when my parents spanked me, but as a parent I have to tell you that I understand now and support it.

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Name : Michael, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Age : 36, City : Houston, State : TX Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, 

[Eric19723]

Based on my experience when I was little ... it's the ability to threaten a child with a spanking that's important, not the corporal punishment itself. I wasn't ever actually spanked much, but the few times I was made me think twice before doing things that my parents said I'd be spanked for if I did. If your child finds some other kind of punishment just as terrifying, it's probably similarly effective as a threat. I have a hard time imagining 'sitting in time out' or something like that being as scary of a thought as getting a spanking, but it probably depends on the kid. The bottom line (no pun intended) is that a child has to fear the punishment more than he or she wants to do whatever it is you are dissuading them from doing. If you only have to spank a kid once every couple of months, but you have to send them to time-out on an almost daily basis, there's something to be said there.

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Name : Eric19723, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 30, City : Atlanta, State : GA Country : United States, Occupation : Engineer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Mary28575]

I do not have kids but I was spanked growing up and I feel it was the most appropriate punishment. No it does not 'teach kids to hit.' They learn that on their own, if you haven't noticed. My parents spanked because they loved me and wanted to correct bad and/or dangerous behavior. Futhermore a punishment shouldn't be a prolonged event. Example: two weeks of no television, a week of doing the dishes. Or you can give your kids a couple of swats on the butt and the punishment is over. Followed shortly by a hug or some form of reassurance that the parent still loves the child. Furthermore, spankings are not supposed to hurt, they are supposed to sting mildly and cause shame and embarassment on the part of the child.

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Name : Mary28575, Gender : F, City : Springfield, State : VT Country : United States, 

[JasonS]

I think the key word in what you're missing is "in anger." I was "spanked" as a child, which is to say that the punishment was only ever employed about 5 or so times in my entire childhood, and only once was it "in anger." On that occasion, my parent apologized and explained why she thought the punishment was still valid (I was old enough for this to work by then). Spanking used as an effective discipline is not just hitting a kid when they do something they aren't supposed to because you're mad they did it. That borders on, and can lead to, abuse, which is what it sounds like you're worried about. In my house, at least, spanking was the set punishment for certian things, only two or three. If you broke one of those rules, you knew what would happen if you got caught. Those rule

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Name : JasonS, Gender : Male, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 25, City : Bloomington, State : IN Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 

[Aimee]

I think children feel like the parents really care about them if they take the time to discipline/spank them. I don't think you should spank a child when you are angry. A child needs to know that their parents love and care about what they do. I think spanking a child makes them think twice about doing the same thing again. You have a better,well behaved child if you do spank. If you don't discipline a child, they think they can do or say anything without conseqences. I was never spanked as a child, but should have been. I grew up thinking my parents didn't really care about me.

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Name : Aimee, Gender : Female, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Pentecostal, Age : 52, City : Jacksonville, State : FL Country : United States, Occupation : secretary, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, 

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