[Mel W.]

Being a black woman who loves all kinds of people, I find your reply very disturbing. I don't see how being seen as idiot sex toys makes black women any less oppressed than black men, and I certainly don't see what that has to do with black men hating black women. Black women have had to be more resilient, more independent, and more creative than some of our white counterparts simply because many black men have interpreted our ambition and desire to succeed in life as a threat to their manhood. If black males hate black women for prevailing against all odds, then so be it. If a man defines himself by who he can control instead of who he really is, then I doubt any thinking woman--regardless of race--would want anything to do with him.

User Detail :  

Name : Mel W., Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 20, City : Gunnison, State : CO Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 

[NC]

I found Paul S.'s statement that 'Personally, I've found that white women are more understanding of black men, maybe because we share the same oppressor' very humorous. It's SO hard being a white woman today. They're always being oppressed. Only white women and black men can understand what it feels like to be oppressed by 'the man.' In case anybody is wondering, I'm being sarcastic. I'm not commenting on the other ridiculous parts of Paul's answer.

User Detail :  

Name : NC, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Lutheran, Age : 20, City : Philadelphia, State : PA Country : United States, Occupation : college student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Kiea]

First of all, Paul, what planet did you just beam down from? What do you mean white women share the same oppressor as you? That's a laugh. I don't believe what you're saying, and I know deep down you don't believe it. You couldn't. If you want to date white women, fine, date them, but by all means do not try to feed the rest of us this crap about white women being oppressed.

To Rhonda: I don't think this behavior should be stamped on all black men, as behavior differs from person to person. I have had my share of poor relationships and other experiences with black men, from my absent father to verbally abusive male counterparts. I admit that the way black men have been treating their female counterparts (black women) pales in comparison to how other ethnic groups treat their women here in the United States; other countries are another issue.

Anyway, I feel your frustration. When my husband and I first hooked up, he tried to tell me that somehow by him being Puerto Rican and my being African American, it made for a better relationship. I was quick to tell him how his statement was in part true but also false. You see, when we enter into relationships with people of other ethnic backgrounds, we tend to treat them differently. We tend to try harder in these relationships. In short, despite my bad experiences with some black men, I don't blame them all. I think if you open your heart and mind, you will see that what I am saying is true.

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Name : Kiea, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 25, City : Montgomery, State : AL Country : United States, Occupation : secretary, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Debra25787]

Even in a forum such as this, questions should at least be valid. On what evidence does Rhonda base her question? All black men do not hate all black women. Further, if Rhonda is raising a black male child with that premise, how does she expect him to turn out? As for the response from Paul, huh? Co-conspirators with white men? Where is the evidence of this? Better yet, where are the benefits of such an alliance? Although you do have many black women in the workforce, the jobs they have were never theirs to give or take. As a whole, they are still at the bottom of the pay scale, even below the white women Paul finds so much in common with. How empowering is it when your boss knows that you are a single parent and probably won't be going anywhere, and therefore gives you a 3 percent raise vs. the 10 percent your white counterpart may get? If office environments seem like the plantation, it's because black women are in the same position of having no protection from their men against 'the white man' (and his woman). Many black women must 'wear the mask' to make a living and provide food for the children they have by 'their own men' who are not taking proper responsibility. Most black women who work on 'plantations' are not doing so by choice. They don't have the same options as many of the white women who you, Paul, have so much in common with. In spite of this, black women as a whole continue to love black men. Don't perpetuate a lie that we don't. We just want our men to take their destiny into their own hands and understand that God (not the white man) has given them what they need to take care of themselves and their women.

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Name : Debra25787, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, City : Brooklyn, State : NY Country : United States, 

[G.K.]

I have to deal with that mess a lot--just the other night I was standing at a bus stop and so was this older man. He propositioned me, I ignored him, he therefore began to get rude and call me out of my name and curse me out. I just continued to ignore him, because I figured, even a fool eventually gets tired of talking to himself after awhile. I left after about 20 min. anyway because I'd missed the bus. Usually when this happens, it's because the man already has an attiude and is pissed off and just wants to take it out on someone, especially on anyone he percieves as being weaker than him. I get tired of that s*** , but I know for a fact all black men aren't like that, so you shouldn't judge them by the ignorant fools you meet on the subway. I also want to say that black women have (and still have) to fight daily battles with sexism and racism ( this is to the man who claimed that black women are getting an easy ride by collaborating with white men), first of all, you're generalizing way too much, and frankly to say that a sister only gets somewhere because she sucked up to some white man in charge belittles and trivializes whatever achievements she might have on her own. Also, you equally trivialize history and the fact that during slavery the average female slave, whether she worked in the house or the fields, was still subject to and bore the brunt of extreme sexualized violence from her white master, simply because she was regarded as nothing more than a piece of property. I'm tired of hearing black women being blamed for every damn thing that's wrong with black folks. We're been brainwashed enough to hate ourselves as it is. Black women have got enough problems of their own without having to hear the kind of ignorant nonsense you're talking, as well as put with a lot of stuff from brothers ( it's not like y'all haven't done anything wrong either) . Obviously, you got issues with black women, but don't take them out on all of us!

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Name : G.K., Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Baptist, Age : 32, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Adam]

I don't think Black men hate Black women. I'd say that most like Black women for the most part. As for the comments about your body: that's because those individuals are rude themselves, someting which cannot be represented as a reflection on all Black males. I know why someone may be pressing up against you on a bus. Its because if they were sitting there first, and then you came and sit next to them, odds are they will not want to move becuase they were much more comtorable before you sat next to them. Its a fact that no one likes to get incredibly close to strangers. This is something that crosses all racial barriers. Its a 'you're in my space' type of thing. Honestly, you shouldn't worry too much about how other African-American males will treat your son. You'll never know because your not male. I don't think its any different from how a White male treats another White male. I rarely have any problems with the way Black males treat me. If Black males have hostility towards Black women than it is probably because Black women have directed the same hostility towards Black men. You said for yourself that you don't even want to have any friendships or relationships with Black men. That seems to be major hostility to me. Actually, it seems to be the resentment of one's own race, but that's not my point. I work at the St. Louis Zoo, a place where many people bring their children and other family members for a fun time. I work in retail so of course I interact with many customers of all races and genders througout the day. And of all the people who have been rude to me, the rudest group is definatley Black females. Why is this? What have I done to them to warrant their rude and unfair treatment of me? Just the other day two Black females approached me and were so incredibly rude to me you wouldn't believe it. I could write for so long just about them, so I would really rather not get into it; they were really that bad. I think Blacks treat each other pretty badly. In this era, Blacks are their own worst enemy, not Whites. Maybe we don't teach our kids manners and decourum the way we should or something.

User Detail :  

Name : Adam, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Age : 17, City : St. Louis, State : MO Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, 

[Danny]

First of all, I don't hate black women. I hate their negative attitudes towards me, like I did them wrong or something. What I can't stand are the dirty evil eye looks I get from the ones I don't know when out in public. Now, not all black women do that evil eye thing. I've met quite a few nice ones. Those of us black men who are not married to black women or even have a black girl friend. We owe them nothing, not even an apology for something another black man did to them in the past. If a certain few of those black women lose the evil eye stare. Wonderful things will begin to happen for them.

User Detail :  

Name : Danny, City : San Jose, State : CA Country : United States, 

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