[Craig]

I have a black friend who used to mock women who locked their car doors as he walked by. Recently, I was walking home and was approached by a black man, who, after being ignored, said, "You're not ignoring me because I'm black, are you?" So I talked to him, and five minutes later he put a gun to my neck and robbed me. By giving him the benefit of the doubt, I put myself at risk.

Another time, a black man asked to use the phone, and then came in with three friends and wouldn't leave until the police were called. I have only had problems with black men. My questions are: 1) Doesn't it then make sense for a woman to lock her car (better safe than sorry)? When should you not be trusting? 2) Is it fair to blame solely white thinking for racism when some of it is also based on some black behavior - especially if the person cries racism in an attempt to take advantage of you? Isn't that betraying your own race?

User Detail :  

Name : Craig, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 37, City : Minneapolis, State : MN Country : United States, 

[A.W.]

In answer to your first question: OF COURSE it makes sense for a woman to lock her car. ALWAYS! And that's true if anyone is around - black or white - or for that matter, if noone is around. The reality is we live in an unsafe society and violence transcends racial lines. As for your question about when it's o.k. to be untrusting: I say its critical to be untrusting whenever you don't feel safe. If you haven't developed instincts about people, environments or situations then you should be suspicious with everyone until such time that you do - and again, violence transcends race. As for your anecdotal stories of black trickery and violence, I offer a few of my own: White cops beat Rodney King within inches of is death. Does that mean that ALL white police are racists? No. Recently in Western Washington, some white children threatened to kill all of the black children at a local high school. Does that mean that black children should feel threatened by all white children? Of course not. There are bad apples in every race. And let me assure you, a person who intends harm will use any means available to him/her to accomplish his/her goal - including playing the race card. Please don't be so naive to think that only black villians would or have done that. Shame on you for allowing your own white guilt to get in the way of common sense. After all, if you weren't intending to speak to the black man who robbed you for reasons other than racism you shouldn't have spoken to him. Period. No amount of baiting should have mattered.

User Detail :  

Name : A.W., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 31, City : Seattle, State : WA Country : United States, Occupation : Attorney, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[M-Kemper]

Race has nothing to do with it. As a female living in a big city, I always lock my car door, especially if I am driving through a high crime area. I also would never engage in a conversation with anyone on the streets unless I knew them. And I would not allow any stranger in my home to use my phone. I live in an area that is increasingly inhabited by lower-income blacks. With them moving in, the crime rates have skyrocketed and the property values have plummeted. Groups of young black kids roam the streets on foot and bike, with apparently nothing to do except play loud music and sell narcotics. And yes, I have a healthy fear of them. Most properties are now rentals with absentee landlords or uncaring landlords. Many of my neighbors have moved, and I will be joining them within the next few months.

This may sound racist, but I tried to work with my community to help get the crime rate down and make it a better place to live. We found few blacks willing to help in the effort. They saw us as whites trying to 'oppress' them. We were 'racist' for wanting to get the criminal elements off of the streets. I just got tired of pounding my head against the wall.

User Detail :  

Name : M-Kemper, City : Temple Terrace, State : FL Country : United States, 

[Dr-Dee]

Craig: I would feel more comfortable in advising everyone to lock their car doors in any neighborhood...not only black men have guns or harrass people; it could just as likely happen with any ethnic person! What is most important is that we remember not to generalize a whole group of people based on a few bad experiences...not all black men are criminals. On the other hand, not all white people are crime-free, right? Dr. Dee

User Detail :  

Name : Dr-Dee, Gender : F, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States, Occupation : Professor, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, 

[Laura22968]

It is a sad fact that we live in a dangerous world, and it has nothing to do with the color of someone's skin. Bad people do bad things, and bad people come in all shapes, sizes and colors. As a woman, I am extremely safety conscious. I avoid groups of men and lock my doors whenever anyone approaches my car, male or female, black or white. Never put yourself at risk just to avoid hurting someone's feelings, and never, ever let anyone into your house if you don't feel comfortable. A person can get over hurt feelings. You might not get over what a criminal would do to you if you gave him/her the opportunity.

User Detail :  

Name : Laura22968, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 38, City : Bel Air, State : MD Country : United States, Occupation : College professor, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[A.C.C.]

To use your 'logic,' everyone not white should watch out for all white males because of what happened in Jasper and the hundreds of thousands of other hate crimes in history. Should all white women judge all white males by Ted Bundy or the other almost exclusively white male serial killers? What you're doing makes about as much sense. I and many other non-white males have experienced many times when rednecks threaten us, curse us or pick a fight when they are drunk or just feeling mean. I just have to keep reminding myself about the better Anglos I know who I grew up with or had as Army buddies. Why can't you and all the other fearful whites see that your fear is based on prejudice?

User Detail :  

Name : A.C.C., Race : Mexican and American Indian, City : W Lafayette, State : IN Country : United States, Occupation : Grad student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, 

[Ann23799]

First, I'm not sure what 'betraying your own race' refers to, but then I consider my race to be 'human'.

I lock my car door any time someone is walking close to my car, after having somebody reach through my window and grab me while I was stopped at a red light. The person who sees me lock it may make any kind of assumption they want about why I'm doing it. I don't care what they think. I think it would be foolish to take safety precautions only when a particular race of person is around - there is plenty of crime being committed by all kinds of people. Why only keep yourself safe from 12 percent of the population?

I don't want to be blamed or singled out because of the behavior of people of my skin color, or of people who drive a car like mine or wear my style of clothes or any superficial characteristic. You've had some bad experiences, but believe me, some people have had worse experiences with white people. We are all responsible for our actions and nobody else's. If you want to classify people by race or whatever, that's your responsibility, not the responsibility of some criminal who happened to be of a particular race you don't like.

User Detail :  

Name : Ann23799, Gender : F, Age : 39, City : Los Angeles, State : CA Country : United States, 

[David S.]

Your friend should lock her doors whenever she feels unsafe or unsure of her surroundings. Damned be those who take offense. Race should not necessarily figure into the equation.

If you have been victimized in the past by certain members of a particular race, it is perfectly natural to be wary when in the presence of other members of said race - after all, you may have no way of knowing anything about these new 'other' people. This 'cautious' response has been conditioned by past experiences and may or may not have anything to do with pure racial hatred or bias. Just as if you had been bitten by a Doberman, you may be uneasy around other Dobermans, regardless of how friendly they may be. I wouldn't call that a 'hatred' of Dobermans.

For the record, I have been broken into or robbed three times in my life - every time by white people. Should I make any extrapolations about the integrity of the entire white race based on these experiences? Am I more wary of white people? In some cases, but it has nothing to do with any inbred hatred or bias toward whites.

User Detail :  

Name : David S., Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 30, City : Columbia, State : SC Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, 

[Craig31881]

To clarify, when I said ,'betrayal of one's race,' I was saying that if a black person claims that you are being prejudice for not trusting them because of their skin color, and then takes advantage of you once you do trust them, they are betraying the black race - crying wolf, in a sense. What this does is reinforce a stereotype, and make the person possibly less sympathetic the next time someone claims prejudice or racism.

User Detail :  

Name : Craig31881, Gender : M, Age : 36, City : Minnepolis, State : MN Country : United States, 

[Craig]

I would like to thank everyone for the responses to my question. Having a gun pointed at you is a traumatic experience, but I have also had to face some prejudices that I wasn't even aware I had, which is equally difficult. It has really made me think. Thank you for that.

User Detail :  

Name : Craig, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 37, City : Minneapolis, State : MN Country : United States, 

[Bola]

I am a large hispanic male, if I find myself in a scary situation I will loock my car doors, there is no reason to give anyone the benefit of the doubt if you have a bad vibe while in a shady place, I use to be crazy enogh to walk through a crowd of gangbangers when I was young, I am older and wiser now I will walk around the block to avoid them, this black man may not have robed you after all if you had not ignored him at first but he did, had you played it safe and left when you could you wouldn't have had a gun to your head. I do lock my car doors when I am in S.F. in the tenderloin or castro, the mission, any city with a bad side to it you name it if people seem shady. It is only the survival instinct that keeps me alert they could be yellow, green or purple I don't care!!! my car door will be locked even @ 6'1' weighing 300lbs. mean looking man what they say is their business not my mine, my only priority my safety!

User Detail :  

Name : Bola, City : san jose, ca, State : CA Country : United States, 

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