Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 20 replies, 21 voices, and was last updated 17 years, 9 months ago by
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- I ask this question with curiosity, not anger: I have observed that many white people (particularly men) feel superior to those around them. Like, from the first time they see a person, they exhibit an air of superiority. My first impression when I meet another person (usually) is that they are at least my equal, and I usually find out after some time whether this is true. Why is the first instinct of many whites one of superiority?
Original Code R649. Click here to see responses from the original archives. Click "to respond" below to reply.User Detail :
Name : Randy-H, Gender : M, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 25, City : Silver Spring, State : MD Country : United States,Most of the responses (Original Archives) do not admit that the "air of superiority" that Randy sees even exists, labeling it instead as self-confidence, self-reliance, competitiveness and formality, or possibly Randy's own insecurity. But if we just consider that 1) it was established at Goettingen University in the late 18th Century that whites were the first, most beautiful and talented race from which all others "degenerated," 2) even Abraham Lincoln argued that whites should hold the "superior position" in this society, 3) Rudyard Kipling declared non-whites to be the "White Man's Burden," 4) Third Reich "Aryans" declared themselves superior to and not to be polluted by any other race, and 5) decades of Southern political demagogues and legions of other white males have proudly boasted their beliefs in white supremacy and its being their God's pre-ordained plan, isn't it a wonder, if indeed not a miracle, that all white males do not display the air that Randy describes?So could it be that many white males indeed do behave as if they are superior to others and do so because they truly believe or want to believe the centuries of teaching, evidence contrary to these teachings not withstanding?
For those who think not, the book Documents of American Prejudice: An Anthology of Writings on Race From Thomas Jefferson To David Duke comes highly recommended.
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Name : Floyd L., Gender : M, Age : 59, City : Memphis, State : TN Country : United States,I see this behavior predominantly in men. However, it follows a funny pattern: When the arrogance is largely perceived as flattering, other men try to copy it or take credit for it. When it is perceived as inappropriate, such as perceived racism, many men try to blame other cultures for the problem and insist that "their" culture would never stoop to such barbaric behavior. The good part is there are men who don't buy into this ego trip. The bad part is there are some women who mistake it for assertive behavior and try to copy it. Go figure.User Detail :
Name : Alma, Gender : Female, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Methodist, City : Kempner, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : contract employee, Education level : 4 Years of College,this sounds like a clear cut case of low self-esteem. Do you feel inferior? Why is everyone these days(OR IS IT JUST POPULAR)have to be getting down on the white man. It seems that theres no one out there that will give them their props. Maybe this is the time for self-appraisal. Try asking that question to yourself and look inward for an answer.User Detail :
Name : harry21419, City : detroit, State : MI Country : United States,How come whenever l walk down the street or whatever l never see any cute guys. Anyway, where are you hotties?User Detail :
Name : Tracy24218, City : London, State : NJ Country : Canada,I am at church in muskegon and i find that my church members do not tip and one of the reasonse i stopped going out with them was they did not and it was very embarrassing. My old pastor pounded it into us that these people worked for a living and tipping was necessary even if the service was bad. I did not agree with this, but i did agree with tipping when service was adequate. I am black and would never eat or order anything if i did not have a tip. i think it is a learned custom that either you appreciate or disregard.User Detail :
Name : cheronda-poston, City : muskegon, State : MI Country : United States,I do not feel superior to those around me. If anything, I feel slightly inferior. I wonder how you could come to beleive that a particular group of people can exhibit a singular, common behavior, much less assume it is that group's 'first instinct,' as you put it. You mention that you are initially prone to judge others and that you usually find out if they are better than you or not. Why? Why do you insist on categorizing people as either your equal or not your equal? It sounds as if your own prejudices (whatever they may be) are influencing your impressions of not only individuals but entire groups. I hope you can eventually realize that all people are essentially that same and that any perceived differences are largely environmental and thus relative.User Detail :
Name : Jason-L, Gender : M, City : Columbus, State : OH Country : United States,Whenever my husband and I order pizza, we order carry-out, so we're generally not expected to tip. Furthermore, whenever we eat out, if the service is satisfactory, we tip usually two or three dollars. If the service is lousy(i.e., the waiter/waitress neglects to offer drink refills or napkins), we pay the cost of the meal and skip.User Detail :
Name : Denise, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Follower of Jesus, City : Houston, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : teacher/housewife, Education level : Technical School,Steve, I think that instead of being confident, you may in effect be suffering from an inferiority complex. May be I am wrong, but I have always thought that most white guys do have an inferiority problem and regard blacks as threats. I believe that confidence is built and founded on what one knows about himself rather than what others think of him. You need not convince everyone around of who you are and what you can achieve to be confident. On the other hand what you need is a series of achievements and outstanding behaviour over an extended and proven period of time. I walk into the streets, Mall and meet people from everywhere and they may choose to think what they like about me, they don't me but I know ME!! If they cannot give me a benefit of a doubt and choose to know me before they judge me, well tough. However, what I am not prepared to do is try and impose ME and ME and ME and ME and ME and ME on everyone I meet and in a rather shallow way assume I am BIGGER, I AM BETTER, SORRY????? BUT YOU DON'T KNOW ME, HOW TRIVIAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I personally believe that an attitude where one always assumes to portray himself as being confident and better off stems from someone with a problem of inferiority complex. It's rather like someone who is extremely poor but tries to hide it by covering themselves with supposedly expensive and designer clothes.User Detail :
Name : Given C, Gender : M, Race : Black/African American, Age : 27, City : London, State : NA Country : United Kingdom, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I think it's a male thing and something that we men learn. A female friend and I conducted an experiment where she would open the door for me every time instead of the other way round. What we found is that an uncomplicated act of courtesy involved adjustments in posture and pacing for both of us. For example, I had to learn to stop speeding up and reaching forward every time we approached a door. She in turn had to learn to stop holding back in the expectation that I would hold the door open for her. She also had to learn to say 'No, I insist' when I forgot and paused to let her through first. Prior to this we would both have insisted that we had 'no problem' when it came to women showing ment the courtesies which usually work the other way round. We men get used to the idea that we should behave as if we are better. I am also made aware by white friends that some of the treatment I am used to getting from others, even behaviour I consider polite, they never receive, or would be offended by it. Interestingly, they have also noticed that I am sometimes accused of being patronising by others, and I have been told that some white people find it hard to take that a black person would be polite and helpful when they don't have to.User Detail :
Name : David Williams, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black Caribbean/British, Religion : Christian, Age : 44, City : London, State : NA Country : United Kingdom, Occupation : trainer, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,you are a lieUser Detail :
Name : Mara22339, Gender : F, City : Austin, State : TX Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College,I also work in Pizza Delivery and my story is quite different from all. I am from California, but my Dad was in the Army when I was born. That means that I have lived almost everywhere, because the Army kept moving us from one place to another every two years. Living on military bases, I was destined to marry a soldier, my husband of 15 years. I have worked on Pizza delivery, as a waytress in several restaurants, I have cleaned houses, I have been in as many cities as you can't possibly imagine. I am trying to persue my associate degree, but it is not easy to start again every time the ymove my husband. But let me go to the point, I have known several people from different populations. I can tell you, the Blacks, Hispanics or Cocatians of California, are totally different form the ones on New York, or Texas, or Pensylvania, or eveywhere. They all tip differntly in every different place. It will always depend on the community that you work in. If you are not lucky with a particular community, then move on to another one. There is always need for Pizza delivery personnel.User Detail :
Name : Jessica-Hernandez, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 35, City : San Francisco, State : CA Country : United States, Social class : Lower class,Interesting... it seems that the Blacks or other minorities receive tips from Blacks or other minorities and the Whites receive tips from Whites and no one else. It appears to be a case of 'like gravitating to like'.User Detail :
Name : Sekou, Gender : M, Race : Black/African American, Age : 31, City : Atlanta, State : GA Country : United States,The only time that I have no tipped someone is when the service was horrible. I do not appreciate the idea that black people are being singled out for not tipping. I am also not to sure I like what was implied by the idea that minorities not tipping is so evident because they are we are rarely seen. I think that it is more obvious because people are alway looking for something to negative to say about us. People need lives and to start looking at themselves more instead of others!!!User Detail :
Name : Joy29159, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 21, City : Boston, State : MA Country : United States,As an African American woman married for 18 years to a white male, I have found myself around white people, men and women all the time. White males, especially blue collor white males, seem to cling to the myth that they are superior. I have never found one that was actually as great as he thinks he is. Being married to a white male has given me access where many black women would not have it. I feel good about myself, not because I married white, but because I have built and maintained a life I am proud of. My white husband joined my life. I did not marry up, I married for love. Why is the first instinct of many whites males one of superiority? Habit. Superority is built on myths and dreams. It is easier to pretend you are better than someone, that to face your own ordinariness and weakness.User Detail :
Name : Sarah Weber, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Lutheran, Age : 56, City : Oak Lawn, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : legal secretary, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class,
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