[Rina28711]

I'm engaged to a man I love very much, and we are very open and honest with each other -- sometimes, in fact, I wonder if we are perhaps TOO honest. Case in point: When discussing our relationship, he told me that, were I to decide I wanted an 'open' relationship -- meaning, of course, that we are both allowed to see / have sex with other people, participate in threesomes, etc., and still remain committed to each other -- he would be totally okay with that. He says that to him, marriage means that he wants to be with me, take care of me, and love me for the rest of his life, but that if I get restless or feel that I'm 'missing out,' he is not the jealous type and would be just fine with me sleeping around, provided he was briefed on the changed circumstances of our relationship. He claims that a lifelong monogamous marriage would also suit him just fine, and that the decision is ultimately up to me. I don't really know how to process this, in all honesty. I am a very traditional sort of person; I lost my virginity to him at the age of 24, and the thought that he would be OKAY with me having sex with other men ... well, it makes me feel like he doesn't really love me. I don't know if it's an absolutely great thing to have found a man who could tolerate that sort of situation, or if it means he absolutely cannot be faithful and I should run for my life. Thoughts?

User Detail :  

Name : Rina28711, City : Palm Beach, State : FL Country : United States, 

[Brittany]

My thoughts are that a person who feels they need to have an "open-marriage" should not get married...marriage is a sacrifice...you put away your player cards and you are absolutely and soley committed to the person you say I do to.. A man who says he is okay with the idea is probably a "dog" and has plans on having extra relational affairs. There are to many risks with sex..what if one of you bring home something? What if another woman becomes pregnant and you have love child....Very uncomfortable to deal with..Why would you want to share your man or vice versa with another woman who you come home to every day? You got married to this person for a reason that reason being that HE/She was "the one" for you...you eat, sleep, drink them....if they don't serve that purpose then maybe you sh

User Detail :  

Name : Brittany, Gender : Female, Race : Black/African American, Age : 20, City : Washington, State : DC Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, 

[TM]

I agree with this information! It is not worth getting married if you are going to be going through all that. Also, he may be having some issues within himself to cause him to even tell you that. If you have no peace about it in your spirit, then that is a prime indicator that that is not something that you truly need to be doing.

User Detail :  

Name : TM, City : Raleigh, State : NC Country : United States, 

[Dot]

If you have the time to date around and wait for him to mature, do so. If you're say, 35 or so and want kids, start looking for someone who actually wants to commit to you.

User Detail :  

Name : Dot, Gender : Female, Age : none, City : L.A., State : CA Country : United States, Social class : Middle class, 

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