[Augustine23637]

Is the idea of 'testing the other guy' to see how he will react an outdated concept? I have in mind two instances I've seen of this, one a post-70 man who worked for me, the other a co-worker who, while young (28), comes from a very traditional ethnic background. In both instances I detected a desire on their part to 'push me,' i.e., to make subtle challenges to me to see if I would react in a 'manly' fashion or 'wimp out.' I 'wimped out' to the older man in deference to his age and never gained his respect; I stood up to the younger man and, I suppose, proved to him that I was somehow 'worthy.' In either case, I think it was ridiculous. I regard my manhood as a 'given' and have no need or desire to prove mine or challenge anyone else's. Isn't this behavior that was more typical of 'rough-and-tough' men, say, 50 years ago? And wouldn't it be more typical today of poorly educated, 'low-brow' types?

User Detail :  

Name : Augustine23637, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 39, City : Columbia, State : SC Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[J. Allen]

I think some men 'test' other men as a sort of confidence pacifier. Possibly, they can walk a little taller knowing that they 'out-willed' the next guy. It doesn't make sense. It seems to be some outdated right of passage. The sad thing is that as outdated as this concept might be, we still have to participate in it. There's no way around it. When I'm confronted like that, as a rule, I attempt to appeal to their sensibilities in a joking manner: 'Oh, you've intimidated me, you're so big and bad, do as you will' (in a very bland tone of voice). I haven't confronted any 'tough guys' who don't feel stupid after hearing me say that. It makes them realize how childish the whole testosterone-induced aggression thing really is.

User Detail :  

Name : J. Allen, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Baptist, Age : 29, City : Charlotte, State : NC Country : United States, Occupation : Office Assistant, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, 

[Dan31689]

Latino culture being macho as it is (there is some truth to this stereotype), from time to time I've gotten the macho challenge quite a bit. Actually, come to think of it, I've gotten it from guys of all different backgrounds. Sometimes they'll throw a minor insult at me to observe how I respond/counter. At the more extreme end, they'll challenge me to do something really stupid (such as climb a radio tower or participate in some huge brawl) and then call me a sissy for refusing to do it. As far as the macho thing goes, I think a male hairdresser who loves and cares for his family and lives a clean, responsible life is manlier than a Navy SEAL who cheats on his wife, disregards his kids and behaves like a brainless knucklehead whenever there's whisky or beer around. Realize that you don't have to prove yourself to anybody, and that they want to see you 'slip' so that they can nurse their own insecurities.

User Detail :  

Name : Dan31689, Gender : M, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Religion : Pentecostal Christian, Age : 21, City : Los Angeles area, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Social class : Lower middle class, 

[Dan31692]

Outdated? Well, as long as there is an ounce of testosterone in existance on this planet, this practice shall continue. I've experienced this sometimes to no end. Sometimes someone will throw a minor insult in order to gauge my reaction. In more extreme instances, they'll challenge me to do something stupid, like climb a radio tower or pick up a rattlesnake, etc. etc. I don't believe it's relegated to the lower classes either. Certain white collar guys like to drop a mention of their salary in casual conversation, as if 6 figures makes them more of a man. And you've all heard of the ex-college jock who challenges a less athletic coworker (whom he is in competition with) to a game of raquetball. Whether the poor guy accepts or declines, he'll be embarassed. As for machismo as a whole, my personal opinion is that a guy who is a hairdresser and who loves and cares for his family and lives cleanly and responsibly is manlier than a Navy SEAL who cheats on his wife, disregards his kids, and acts like a brainless knucklehead whenver there's beer/whisky around.

User Detail :  

Name : Dan31692, Gender : M, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Religion : Pentecostal Christian, Age : 21, City : L.A. area, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Social class : Lower middle class, 

[jimmi30530]

Let me tell you. I have a father-in-law who is former military and very much into being manly. He is by no means macho, but still expects men to be men- if you get my drift. I am a stay at home father and don't work much. I have succeeded in gaining his acceptance by showing that I am a quality individual. My brother-in-law is a businessman who does all of the things that so called men would do- my father-in-law can't stand him. One thing broinlaw did which was a major mistake was not drive the u-haul trailer. He made dadinlaw do it. Now, that was a test of manliness that he failed. I never would have allowed that to happen.

User Detail :  

Name : jimmi30530, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 30, City : Seattle, State : WA Country : United States, Occupation : un, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 

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