[Brian]

Why does it seem black males 'dis' females of their own race in favor of pursuing obese, ugly white women? Black women are very beautiful. Any perceived increase in 'status' doesn't seem worth it to me.

User Detail :  

Name : Brian, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 34, City : San Francisco, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Banking, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[robin29593]

good question!

User Detail :  

Name : robin29593, City : winston-salem, State : NC Country : United States, 

[Jennifer R.]

Before I give my opinion on your question, I feel compelled to qualify my answer in two ways. First, the number of black people engaging in relationships with people outside of their own ethnic background is about 5 percent. Therefore, 95 percent of black men and women prefer each other over people of other ethnic backgrounds. It may seem otherwise, but that's just because we all tend to notice more readily those things that are unusual. Second, we can't and shouldn't assume that black men who are involved with non-black women are doing so for status reasons. People fall in love with each other for lots of reasons, and none of them are apparent upon sight.

Given those disclaimers, I'll give you my theories on your question.

Black men, culturally, tend to be a bit more forgiving about body size. In fact, I know quite a few black men who prefer women who are very large indeed. I don't know why, exactly, but I've seen this all my life. This could be a vestigal culture trait of our African ancestry, because as my sister, who has lived in Africa for four years, tells me, larger women are very much preferred over their thin counterparts there. Add to that the stereotype that some black men have that white women, whatever their shape, are easier to get along with than black women. Many black women, from lower socioeconomic backgrounds especially, have been used to 'taking care of business' alone, and therefore can be extremely exacting on the men in their lives, making it more apparent than is sometimes comfortable, that they don't really need the man there, and that the only reason he IS there is that they want him to be. I think all men want to feel needed. Also, from this perception of black women comes the opinion that we won't stand for a lot of behavior that white women will.

Also, I wouldn't be so quick to assume that the type of black man you see with an 'unattractive' white woman is someone we black women would miss. Perhaps he's with her because none of us will have him. They might be made for each other. That's why, when I see a couple like that together, I think to myself, 'God Bless,' aside from the fact that interracial dating is not for the faint of heart. ___________________________

User Detail :  

Name : Jennifer R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Humanist, Age : 29, City : Saint Paul, State : MN Country : United States, Occupation : Writer/Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Jennifer R.]

I'm grateful for whatever insight I was able to lend. ____________________

User Detail :  

Name : Jennifer R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Humanist, Age : 29, City : Saint Paul, State : MN Country : United States, Occupation : Writer/Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Steve27685]

To Jennifer R.: That was a truly outstanding, well-thought-out response. You are my hero. Thanks for the insight!

User Detail :  

Name : Steve27685, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 44, City : Houston, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : boring engineer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 

[Juno R.]

Ugly comes in all sizes. It hurts to hear fat and ugly linked so often; it's almost become one word. I am fat - 5'3" and 200 lbs. I am not ugly, and I am quite happy with my size, as is my partner. Large & in charge. People MOVE out of my way and NOTICE me when I want something. Ugly is a state of mind; fat is a body type.

User Detail :  

Name : Juno R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Pagan, Age : 38, City : Swisshome, State : OR Country : United States, Occupation : mechanic/musician, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Lower class, 

[jenny]

I am a very attractive white women, I am not stuck on myself or anything, but I know the response I get from men. I am dating a gorgeous strong black man, have been for 4 years, and the reason I am with him is because he knows how to respect, and treat me. I grew up in a racist family and I would have never been able to bring a black man home growing up, so I dated all white men. All of the white men treated me like crap, no respect, no financial security, nothing. I met Deshan when I was a freshman in college and have been with him ever since. He is not excepted by my family, and probably never will be. I will end up marrying him and my family will disown me, but I will love him for what he is and how we are together, forever. So to answer your question, I believe you choose who makes you happy, regardless of race.

User Detail :  

Name : jenny, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 24, City : branson, State : MO Country : United States, Occupation : sales, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper class, 

[Author]

Posts