[Augustine23590]

My wife and I maintain separate checking accounts. We collaborate on the expenses (bills, groceries, etc.) that we incur together, and we spend and save the remainder of our respective paychecks at our own discretion. (We have no children.) My wife and I each had complete, fulfilling lives before we got married, and each of us continue to have our own hobbies, interests and ways of spending our own money. Yet other people have reacted to this with shock and indignation. How do other married couples manage their checkbooks and expenses?

User Detail :  

Name : Augustine23590, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 39, City : Columbia, State : SC Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Neelie]

I believe that to maintain an element of separation is good, as long as there is disclosure and mutual understanding. The premise that "what is his/hers is mine" is outdated, legally and sometimes emotionally. It inhibits growth and trust. As individuals, what has attracted two mates is often the diversity and commonality that they can share. As long as one does not abuse this spectrum of the relationship, tell others to butt out.

User Detail :  

Name : Neelie, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States, 

[Andrew]

My wife and I have a joint checking account, which is used mostly (but not exclusively) for bills, and a joint savings account. But we have separate credit cards, and neither of us pays much attention to how the other uses the cards. Every couple manages money their own way, and if it works for you, I don't see anything to worry about - for you or anyone else.

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Name : Andrew, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 35, City : Huntington, State : NY Country : United States, Occupation : Reporter, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Julianna-C27020]

My husband and I have seperate checking accounts also. This prevents a lot of flights over who took money from the ATM and forgot to tell the other. In addition to our own accounts, we have a joint household checking account, as well as joint savings, investments, etc. This arrangement creates more bookkeeping than a single account would, but it works for us. The important thing is for couples to decide on an arrangement that works for their situation.

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Name : Julianna-C27020, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 26, City : Santa Clara, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Engineer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Stephen S.]

My wife and I also have separate checking accounts. That is just the way we feel we can manage our money best. I pay the bills with my checkbook, and she buys the groceries and other household necessities with hers. Like you, I have also experienced shock from other married people that we do our finances this way; but hey, we just feel comfortable doing that. I cannot understand why they would care, but apparently, they do.

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Name : Stephen S., Age : 32, City : San Antonio, State : TX Country : United States, 

[Bill]

My wife and I have been married five years, the second marriage for both. She has two daughters (one now in college, the other, 16, at home). I have three children, a 21-year-old son on his own, a 17-year-old son at home, and a 15-year-old daughter who lives with her mother. We agreed at the onset that we would maintain separate finances and split household expenses based on our W-2 income contribution to the household. As I bring home 44 percent of the bacon, I pay 44 percent of the bills. We use Quicken and a Lotus 123 spreadsheet at the end of the month to settle the monthly budget. (I am an accountant, and we are both quite computer literate, so the bookkeeping is not a problem). We never have fights over finances because we each control our money and discuss and agree ahead of time on major purchases. We have separate checking and savings accounts, separate investments and separate credit card accounts, and we borrow jointly for major purchases (again, payments at 56%/44%). We had a pre-nuptual agreement, not because either of us had any significant assets, but because we both had been through a divorce and wanted things spelled out, just in case. Our arrangement might not work for everyone, but it works very well for us.

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Name : Bill, Gender : M, City : n/a, State : NA Country : United States, 

[Maggie]

I'm not married, but live with my partner. We have a joint account, and we each have our own separate accounts (which we only use for our wages and work-related expenses), and also both joint and individual long-term (i.e. retirement) saving accounts and investments. The vast majority of our expenses and savings are joint. As we're still pretty young, most of our purchases are for joint things (furniture, etc.) but these are decided on jointly. Smaller purchases are made without asking. I think each couple has to know how it works best for them, but what I find really strange is when long-term couples go out for drinks or a meal and each pay for their own drinks and food. This seems really petty.

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Name : Maggie, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 25, City : Cologne, State : NA Country : Germany, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Brandy]

I might be a little young to comment on this, but my parents have had separate accounts for years. I definitely plan to when I get married. I don't see anything wrong with it. And for those who do see it as strange, tell them they don't have to have separate accounts, but to mind their own business about yours.

User Detail :  

Name : Brandy, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 19, City : Memphis, State : TN Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 2 Years of College, 

[CH19161]

That arrangement sounds great, As long as everyone is happy, it probably eliminates a lot of stress over how to spend a shared pot, and it is certainly no one else's business. The only problem I could see with that approach is if there is a great difference in the amounts the two people earn. The one who has to make do with a hobby like cross-stitch may resent the one who collects antique cars and jets off to take cooking classes in Tuscany. They would be living different lifestyles under the same roof. And what if one stops working because of children or what have you? Wouldn't there be more of a shock of sudden dependence on the spouse, not to mention resentment, than if things had been shared to begin with? It seems like most marriages will at some point be single-income, or at least dynamics will change (promotions, cut in pay in order to move with spouse, retirement, etc).

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Name : CH19161, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, City : Chapel Hill, State : NC Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, 

[JR21134]

Funny, I've experienced just the opposite. Most everyone I know have separate accounts, and express surprise that we have everything in joint accounts. This becomes a problem because we have different spending habits; I tend to want to save and think of the future, and she tends to live for today and isn't as concerned about saving for a rainy day. This causes a bit of conflict because I'm always asking how much this costs or that costs and she gets a little testy. It's not like I'm trying to track her spending, but I have no choice as long as everything's coming out of the same pot. I suggested separate accounts at one time, but she got so upset over it that I ended up dropping it. She's a creature of habit; her attitude was that we've been doing it this way for years, so why change now? She even thought I may have had something to hide. Oh, well, sooner or later when she gets tired of me asking what she spent every day, maybe she'll come around.

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Name : JR21134, Gender : M, Race : Black/African American, Age : 33, City : Franklin, State : VA Country : United States, Occupation : Systems Analyst, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Cal]

I can't understand why you would want to have two checking accounts. Seems like more hassle to me. Why have two accounts when one will do? I can't imagine why anyone else would care. Maybe people think that having two accounts is a sign of distrust or selfishness.

User Detail :  

Name : Cal, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 45, City : Lakewood, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Engineer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

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