It's best Josh that you realize your friend is still coming into his own understanding of life & relationships. Society ,the media in particular, constantly pounds us with homophobic, racist, & sexist stereotypes. When I was your age I had friends who were both straight and gay and I got angry when overly macho guys in school would pick on my gay friends. I got picked on also and as long as they didn't get physical with me, I learned to let their words slide off me like water on a duck. When offensive words come out of somebody else's mouth, I've become very perceptive at sensing their own emotional agony that they cannot face up to. All the words that people say are subjective, no matter how objective they think they are being. Understand that your friend is confused about what he thinks is the way people are 'supposed' to be. He's also worried about his appearance to other's, which includes himself. If you feel uncomfortable with your friend's degrading words, tell him about it. What's most important is that you get comfortable with yourself and be strong in your mind about your wants and needs and who want to interact with. Believe in yourself. Then anything that is derogatory that people say to you becomes in your mind, what it truly is, words out of the mouth of someone who feels insecure.
User Detail :
Name : Mick, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 43, City : San francisco, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Musician/Jack-of-all-trades, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, If it makes you uncomfortable, you should kindly ask him to stop. It doesn't matter if other people think it's derogatory; what matters is how it makes YOU feel.
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Name : L K, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 22, City : Laurel, State : MD Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, I suspect that you're being gay still makes him a little uncomfortable, and this is just his way of coping with it, by distancing himself from you a little. He's about your age I'm guessing? He'll grow out of it, right now he's just young. Or possibly he's a little nervous that on some level you're attracted to him... you may have to explain that he's 'not your type' and you could never like him in That Way. As others have stated, it essentially comes down to this: are you comfortable with it? Is it coming out of a scared or abusive place when he says those things, or is he just funnin'? Mayebe you two should have a talk, and ask him 'Seriously, are you okay with this?' Whatever he's scared of, that you're keeping other big secrets from him, or that you have the hots for him or whatever, is probably a fear you can put to rest. And as a gay, you should probably get used to standing up for yourself, even with people you're close to... this society is a lot more gay+ than it used to be, but there's still a lot of bigots out there, some a lot closer to you than you think. It never hurts to be careful.
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Name : Chickenator X, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Kinsey 1, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Panjudeochristian Heretic, Age : 28, City : Toronto, State : NA Country : Canada, Occupation : Cyberterrorist :-), Education level : Less than High School Diploma, Social class : Lower middle class, Often people forget that names like faggot, nigger, kike, etc. were and are still used to de-humanize an individual, to make them less than a person. After all, it is a lot easier to attack, hurt, or abuse what you consider a non-person, trivial or simply less than. To recover from this, minorities have often taken the expression back, giving terms meaning, power and often anthems of pride. Which is why you may hear an African Americian use "nigger" or a gay man or woman say "queer"? But don't ever forget the root of this slang; the intent is to take away your humanity, to make you less than a person so that you can be dismissed, so that your needs, feelings and rights can be ignored. As to your friend, I would stop it it dead in its tracks. Joking or not there is power in words. If you don't believe me, read Maya Angelou, she speaks to this often.
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Name : Jay, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 33, City : Raleigh, State : NC Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper class, You are contradicting yourself here! You say your bothered, But then you play like that ?? usually people who talk like this are really either close friends. or people trying to keep the open lines of conversation going for the sake of public eye. If It's all said in fun. No harm. But if you have questions of whether he's saying these things in spit? ask him about it. Yet since he is still speaking with you. he's OK with you. Unless he goes to other people and inform them of his calling you names to make him sound like a macho gay basher. Many adults use this form of communication to quietly vent there frustrations to the other. well, OK, Mostly on T.V. there will come a time when You get tired of it, and then his insults will take a Derogatory tone. this walks the same line as racism. For proper society, It's not polite to call a black person Niger, or a Chinese person a gook. technically a Puerto Rican can cal another a Spick, yet if a Caucasian where to say this; all hell would break loose. Good Luck, and Give a Big Hug to your Folks. They must be awesome Parents to accept your sexual preference.
User Detail :
Name : Paul Sanz, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Religion : Christian, Age : 40, City : Akron, State : OH Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
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