[Emma]

I have suffered through the slings and arrows of my various friends as they've attempted to find dates through Internet matching services. The reports I'm getting would indicate that virtually all men, no matter how heavy or balding, have described themselves as good-looking. My male friends have had the opposite experience, wherein the women they meet in person have really underplayed their looks online, generally referring to a 'few extra pounds' or 'just average,' when in fact they're very attractive. Why do women feel so negatively about the way they look while men seem able to say 'I'm hot' with a straight face?

User Detail :  

Name : Emma, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, City : Los Angeles, State : CA Country : United States, 

[Andrew]

Women are pressured by the fashion industry to be skinny and anorexic, so they think that's what men want. As any male will tell you, they would rather have a full-bodied woman who tells them they are attractive. If a man says he isn't attractive, he lessens his chance of pairing with an attractive woman. Would a man take that chance?

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Name : Andrew, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, City : Livingston, State : NA Country : United Kingdom, Occupation : Multimedia, 

[GARY]

It is much easier for women to entice men than for men to entice women. It has been my experience that women, no matter how great they look, have a problem with some physical feature they have. Their boobs are either too big or too small, hair too curly or too straight, body too fat or too thin, etc. These things are issues that seem to plague women regardless of how nice they may look. Men on the other hand feel that they need to embellish their looks for women because they still don't understand clearly that women are not as visually stimulated as men are. Looks count alot for men and 'us men' assume that looks count as much for women. Thus, when you have internet ads, or ads in a paper where people give physical descriptions of themselves, you are very likely to find the disparities that you have so accutely pointed out.

User Detail :  

Name : GARY, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Jewish, Age : 38, City : Los angeles, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : professional, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, 

[Jacqueline-C21014]

Every day we are bombarded with images of how women are supposed to look. Most women do not look like this narrow standard of beauty, but we are told that we should. This leads to tremendous disatisfaction with our bodies. All the women on TV are thin. Most are rather tall, and many have had cosmetic surgery. The women in every advertisement and magazine look like this, too. And don't forget the women in the clothing catalogs. And most of the clothes are designed with a model body in mind. The women in the plus-sized catalogs are not even heavy. This is why so many women diet or have eating disorders. Practically from birth we are told that we must live up to a certain standard to be beautiful. The thing that many women do not realize is that this standard of beauty that we measure ourselves against isn't the same one that men measure us against. So we end up striving for something that we can't achieve and is meaningless anyway.

User Detail :  

Name : Jacqueline-C21014, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 26, City : San Jose, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Engineer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Anonymous]

I think that there is something very important here that a lot of people forget about, and that's the fact that human beings are animals and still have many animal instincts. That is the 'base' of what people look for in a mate. For example, men want someone who will 'carry on the bloodline' of the 'tribe,' i.e. someone who is genetically strong to keep the family going. This 'survival of the fittest' urge generally translates in modern society into an attractive, healthy looking woman. Now the interpretation of what healthy looking is varies from culture to culture, but in white, mainstream America, that beauty is equal to a thin woman. Similarly, with women, we have our urges for the brave hunter who will protect our village... Once again, this translates very differently from culture to culture, but in mainstream white America this generally translates into rich guys who are powerful. Obviously not everyone subscribes 100 percent to these ideals, but I think the part that evolution and biology play in our likes and dislikes cannot be overlooked.

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Name : Anonymous, Gender : F, Age : 26, City : Southern, State : NJ Country : United States, Social class : Middle class, 

[Emma25391]

To Gary and Andrew: Why would an unattractive man feel he deserves an attractive woman? Most of us work very hard to stay fit, and we do expect a certain visual appeal from our partners, be they male or female. Also, why lie on the net, as the truth will be revealed once the correspondents meet in person? Is it that these guys feel their charm will outweigh their physical shortcomings?

User Detail :  

Name : Emma25391, Gender : F, City : Los Angeles, State : CA Country : United States, 

[Steve27633]

The responses about women being subtly told they need model's physiques are probably true and kind of sad. But to be honest, what women hold as the 'super male' is just as hard for the rest of us shmoes to deal with as well. I am not at all sure what women consider attractive in men, but Bill Clinton has women dropping trow on him left and right. But put him in the office cubicles with the rest of us, and how many women are going to be showing him their underwear across the office desk the first time they meet? Would an Internet ad saying 'I am not all that good-looking but have lots of money and power' be more honest? I would suggest that either gender holds its ideals (super models vs. super powerful) at a level unattainable by most of us. And the effect of this - and media focus on it - is just as devastating to either sex.

User Detail :  

Name : Steve27633, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 41, City : Houston, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Corporate Guy, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 

[Salomé]

I think that they feel that they can totally make themselves over in time for the big date. (Just joking!)

User Detail :  

Name : Salomé, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 25, City : St. Paul, State : MN Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, 

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