[Henry B.]

My question is how to cope with the recent knowledge that my father is a priest. He is not the person who raised me and with whom I identifed as my father all my life. Help. I am still in shock mode, aka denial.

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Name : Henry B., Gender : M, Religion : Catholic, Age : mid-30s, City : Los Angeles, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Professional, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Kim H.]

You're in your mid-30s; you have lived a little while. It's not like you don't know a little something about life and circumstances. I guess I don't understand what you really have to "deal" with. Your birth father is just that. He supplied the genes - he didn't raise you. His breaking his vow of celibacy is his issue, not yours. I don't know where you are with your church's dogma -perhaps what your intimating in your question has to do with the Catholic institution. I am not Catholic, but I've always felt that the vow of celibacy for many people (especially men) is a very difficult vow to keep. A lot of folks who go into the priesthood do so when they are very young (in their 20s) and have not had a chance to experience certain things. I understand why the vow is taken - sex and marriage can definitely co-op one's focus, especially if one's mission is to serve the church. But I'm not wedded to the idea that forced celibacy is the greatest thing in the world. I think it is wrong to deny such a natural thing as to express one's love and/or feelings to another in a physical way. Sex is just as much a gift from God as anything else. It is man in his finite wisdom who puts the negative spin on it. Remember, most dogmas of most religious institutions were constructed by man. All the rules and regulations are constructed by man, not God. I don't think God much cares if your father is a priest or not. Out of all the things you could spend time thinking about, in the big scheme of things this should be at the bottom of the list. You're here. He fathered you. Hopefully you're living a good life. What more can you ask for? If you are so moved to connect with him, then do it. But don't waste your time mired in something that happened 30-plus years ago. Don't judge your birth father. What's done is done. Good luck to you.

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Name : Kim H., Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Humanist, Age : 43, City : Minneapolis, State : MN Country : United States, Occupation : Actress, Playwright and Director, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Elizabeth25312]

As someone who grew up Catholic, I can understand the feeling that priests are somehow more advanced than we 'mere mortals.' Don't fool yourself into buying into this myth. Priests are human beings, period. No more, no less. Your birth father is probably not a bad person; he's human and makes mistakes and has moments of weakness, like all of us. Try to sympathize with him. Also try to look at it in a positive way: It's evidence that you were truly meant to be born and were put on earth for a reason. This doesn't have to be a horrible circumstance of your life. Be positive.

User Detail :  

Name : Elizabeth25312, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 30, City : Boston, State : MA Country : United States, Occupation : Journalist, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 

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