[Augustine23662]

I lived in Washington, D.C., for 10 years. Is there such a thing as "Washington Nice"? I'm referring to overdone, almost unctuous politeness at a superficial level with nothing underneath it. For instance, I could be approaching a door and the person nearby, regardless of race or gender, would almost knock themselves out to hold it open for me. (And no, I don't resemble anyone highly placed in politics!) Yet if you would attempt to take the encounter one step further, such as striking up a conversation, they'd look at you like you were from another planet. I always kind of felt like "I can handle my own doors, but a little human warmth would be nice." Has anyone else noticed this about D.C.? And is this anything like "Minnesota Nice" or "Mormon Nice" - both of which I've heard of but not sure I've ever experienced?

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Name : Augustine23662, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 38, City : Columbia, State : SC Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Craig]

I hear the phrase "Minnesota Nice" so much that it grates on my nerves. Here, it generally means saying something like, "You don't have your wallet? Well, I'll pay. No big deal," then mumbling what a cheap jerk your friend is. (Remember The Mary Tyler Moore Show?) It's very passsive aggressive. But I am amazed when I see a car get stuck in the snow, and strangers help without even being asked. There is a positive side to the "Nice."

I do avoid talking to people because their conversation, nine times out of 10, starts, "Hi. Say, my car just ran out of gas..." or "How's it going? Lookin' to buy? Got some great weed." or "Hi. Can I talk to you about this Republican? Would you like to make a contribution?"

Rarely does anyone just want to talk, and once you start the conversation, they don't go away. I was once waiting at a designated spot for a friend, and a man began talking to me about the weather, etc. Then he asked if he could talk to me about Jesus. I said, "No, thanks," so he launched into a monologue anyway - for 10 minutes, concluding that I was going to hell. Committing to a conversation with a stranger on the street is like opening Pandora's Box. Opening a door to a stranger is just that - opening a door.

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Name : Craig, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 37, City : Minneapolis, State : MN Country : United States, 

[R]

Regarding messianic street people and their conversatinal approaches, I think most of us can tell when we are approached by these characters (try the New York subways sometime.) On the other hand, are we so inured against common decency and so hardened by constant bombardment of violent, prurient, bathroom ;('South Park?') entertainment and media reporting that we no longer recognize just plain COURTESY? There's a lot to be said for the good old fashioned use of an exchange of pleasantries when stuck in a queue waiting for a bus or whatever. The English are good at that, and I think there's a great hankering here in the U.S. for some of that attitude at all levels. Just look at the significant response in entertainment to two new British movies: 'An Ideal Husband' and 'The Winslow Boy'--both exhibiting all the qualities of what used to be called 'good taste' in human relationships. I'm not suggesting more of the 'have a good day' insincerity we all get tossed at us from all sides every day. I've had that growled at me by a supermarket checkout person who convinced me she really meant, 'I hope the milk you just bought is turning to Limburger.' My point is, I think we are becoming a ruder, cruder nation by the minute--and there is a growing realization of that out there, and people are beginning to respond to that. Give courtesy a chance and try it yourself.

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Name : R, Gender : M, Age : 69, City : Norwalk, State : CT Country : United States, Occupation : Retired, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, 

[Roberta G.]

Not only have I noticed this phenomenon, it's been one of my pet peeves for years. This area is so full of itself and its own importance that people here are apt to look through you - not even at you - even when courteously asked the time of day. This sort of thing has happened to me frequently, as well as to many others I've talked to. Years ago, I chatted with a young woman who had moved to the D.C. area only three weeks earlier, and she had already noticed that arrogant people were a dime a dozen here.

In this area, money and political power are of prime importance in determining how one individual will treat another. If you're not wearing a business suit and don't work on Capitol Hill, you get treated like dirt. The attitude is in the very air. I noticed it within three days of moving here in 1984, and have since seen very little evidence otherwise. Lawyers, lobbyists, Congressional aides and foreign embassy personnel are flat-out the worst, although they certainly aren't alone.

Note to the people I'm talking about: You know who you are. Try going outside the Beltway once in a while and learn that you're not nearly as important as you think you are.

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Name : Roberta G., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Lutheran, Age : 38, City : Stafford, State : VA Country : United States, Occupation : Formerly cashier, now homemaker, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[K.J.]

I've lived in the Washington, D.C., metro area for 17 years, and I've worked in downtown D.C. for 15 of those years. I am amazed you've had doors held open for you. My experiences here have led me to the firm belief that rudeness is an Olympic sport here. The arrogance of the people here is utterly astonishing. I grew up in Tennessee, where civility is paramount and rudeness is almost a crime. If I didn't get back home to civilization twice a year I think I'd go nuts here.

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Name : K.J., Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Episcopalian, Age : 47, City : Burke, State : VA Country : United States, Occupation : Systems Analyst, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 

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