Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 17 replies, 18 voices, and was last updated 24 years, 6 months ago by
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- Why do so many straight people think gays and lesbians are promiscuous and will sleep with anyone breathing?
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Name : Sex-less, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Pagan, Age : 45, City : Fort Worth, State : TX Country : United States, Social class : Lower middle class,I answered a similar question last year. I am a gay male and had many straight male friends in college and the Navy. It is my experience that men in general are more promiscuous than women, especially men in their late teens and early 20s. But as these men, both straight and gay, grow older and develop friendships and relationships (unfortunately marriage isn't an option for gay men) achieving that next orgasm isn't as important as it once was.If the government hadn't been so prude in the '80s and had alerted people to the horrors of AIDS, the disease wouldn't have spread throughout the country as it has. All of you straight men who read this posting who were in college or the military in the '80s, just think about the sexual life of that time. It wasn't a gay or straight thing, it was a youth and sexual freedom thing. Period.
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Name : Tony, City : San Francisco, State : CA Country : United States,Most likely it was a trait conjured up by those who condemn gays and lesbians. Like most urban legends that peg a particular group of people as the "evil," these statements are meant to demonize a people. By attributing negative traits to a group, someone can "justify" the outing of that group. It's a sad world.User Detail :
Name : Me21906, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Age : 25, City : San Francisco Bay Area, State : CA Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I don't know about lesbians but homosexual men are extremely promiscuous as a group. The use of dozens of partners per year was an important factor in the spread of HIV. This is not to say that all gay men are like this. But as a group they certainly have many more one night stands than do heterosexuals.User Detail :
Name : Joe, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 47, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : Finance, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,My parents were afraid I would be promiscuous and catch AIDS when they found out I was gay. But, as they found out, I don't sleep around; and I'm very happy with my partner. They got their views from the news networks here, which go to the most open/concentrated gay areas to get their shocking news bites. The most openly gay and news-taped areas do seem to be more promiscuous. But there are actually more gay people in the non-openly-gay/non-news-taped neighborhoods than just in the gay-ghettos; and they aren't the '6 O'clock news-bite stories' type. They've got houses, play the organ at the Catholic church, work together around the house, volunteer at school and mow the yard with their partner. My mother now knows this. The news just didn't cover the other homosexuals.User Detail :
Name : Patrick S., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 24, City : Dallas, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Programmer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Since we live with our partners without being able to marry them, our relationships are not always given the respect that a married couple will receive. So, non-gays might see us as more promiscuous because we are never married.To Normand: Studies show men in general are more promiscuous than women. So, men having relationships with men have more freedom to have other partners if they wish. A man having a relationship with a woman has to deal with the woman's desire to be monogamous. Please be aware that any generalization will not hold true all the time, including the ones I have made.
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Name : N.J. Smith, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 45, City : Butler, State : PA Country : United States, Occupation : Laborer, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Lower middle class,Part of the reason may be that it's true for male homosexuals. Male promiscuity figures prominently in AIDS studies. It is impossible to look at the subject of AIDS and not admit that male homosexuals are very promiscuous.User Detail :
Name : Normand19947, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Religion : Christian, Age : 50, City : Alameda, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Blue-collar worker, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,If you think about it, the condemnation rarely makes sense:1. In the United States, many gays and lesbians are asking to be able to wed legally, and I have heard many who oppose it say that gays are promiscuous. They oppose both promiscuity, and monogamous gays. If all gays were promiscuous, though, would we even be discussing gay marriages?
2. Cheers was in the Nielson top 10 for nine years. The main character, Sam, slept with hundreds of women. Watchers thought of it as cute and funny. Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with 10,000 women. Rather than question his morals, the public mostly questioned whether he was lying. Many guys join bands to "get women." Girls are told that "teenage boys only have one thing on their mind." We have words for men who have many female sex partners - player, stud, stallion, ladies' man, Romeo, Casanova, etc. All are words that elevate men's status. When a man does this, we say, "Boys will be boys." Why is this behavior OK for heterosexuals?
3. While AIDS mostly affected gays, heterosexuals' sexually transmitted diseases are even more common. So does that mean all heterosexuals are promiscuous?
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Name : Craig, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 37, City : Minneapolis, State : MN Country : United States,I think it came about to promote and/or reinforce the "other-ness" of homosexuality. It increases the separate and different feeling of homosexuality and (to the scared? straights) makes it less attractive to young people. Personally, I think (the promiscuity rumor) is false and mean.User Detail :
Name : Roberta, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Jewish, Age : 37, City : Trenton, State : NJ Country : United States, Occupation : RN, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Unfortunately, the media presents the seamier side of every group a lot more often than it shows the positive side. Within my ethnic group - and others - I see the good and the bad (and there's a lot more good), but on the news, I only see the bad side. But the good folks out there make pretty boring news headlines.User Detail :
Name : E.J., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Jewish, Religion : Jewish, Age : 49, City : Denver, State : CO Country : United States, Occupation : Student again, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,It's impossible to stereotype the behaviors of gay men, just as it is for lesbians, bisexuals and straight people. The stereotypes that gay men are promiscuous, lesbians are always monogamous, straight men will sleep with any woman they can convince or who'll give them the time of day, and that straight women are passive and never initiate intimacy are all myths. There are promiscuous gay men, as there are promiscuous straight men; there are also many gay men who have only long-term and life-time monogamous relationships.User Detail :
Name : H., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : white Southerner, Religion : Methodist, Age : 25, City : Washington, State : DC Country : United States, Occupation : statistician, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,I love it when straight people talk about the gay community as if they were experts. Yes, Mr. Married Straight Man, I'm sure you know all about the gay community. The 700 Club is so educational on such matters.Really, I think the promiscuity thing does come from our not being able to get married. The other side of it, the being-attracted-to-every-person-of your-gender-because-you're-queer thing, I think comes from vanity: "Hey, wow, Kathryn is a lesbian. I'm a woman. Surely she is attracted to me!"
But at the heart of both these mindsets is a simpler answer: Ignorance.
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Name : Kathryn26643, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Big Ol' Dyke, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Transcendental, Age : 21, City : Roanoke, State : VA Country : United States, Occupation : Waitstaff, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Many straights accept the premise that there is no essential difference between straight and gay sexuality. I happen to believe that gays, generally speaking, are promiscuous. This is not to say that some gays are as committed as traditional couples, but on the whole that committment is lacking. I base this on a number of things, not least of which is the homosexual assertion that multiple sexual partners are a defining parameter of that lifestyle. Studies on AIDS almost always mention in passing that multiple sex partners is the rule rather than the exception. As a matter of fact, AIDS would not even be an epidemic (in the strictest sense of the word it isn't an epidemic) if gays weren't as promiscuous as they are. I am talking about male homosexuals when I speak about AIDS/gays. AIDS transmission is very rare, if possible, via lesbian sex.User Detail :
Name : Norm19933, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 50, City : Oakland, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Blue-collar, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,First, let's get one thing out of the way: Animals including human animals have sex because it feels good. This is a gift from God. Now, my memory doesn't stretch back into the mists of time, but I do remember a thing called the sexual revolution. That was when A) It became socially acceptabe for people (especially women) to admit they had sex because it feels good; B) It became biologically possible to have sex without having babies. Now, homosexuals always had the advantage of sex without babies; therefore it is probably true to say that homosexuals have always been able to engage in sex with more freedom than heterosexuals. The second revolution was the Stonewall revolution, where, due to an obscene display of homo-bashing, gay men rose up and said, "I am not going to take it any more!" Oh-oh! Media attention. The third revolution came on the heels of the second: The AIDS revolution. Studies and reports I've read tend to indicate that baby-boomer gay men have learned the lesson of AIDS and (as a group) are being moderate and careful in their sex, but that the younger men following have not and - sadly - are not.User Detail :
Name : CV31713, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 40, City : Small Town, State : IA Country : United States, Occupation : Pastor, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I've been in a monogamous relationship with a man for more than five of my 29 years. I've slept with a total of five men in my life. I grew up terrified that I was the only man in the world who actually fell in love with other men. Of course I knew there were lots of gay men, but I thought they just did it for sex and could not be monogamous. What a laugh. Every relationship I've had has been monogamous. I have many gay friends and can think of only one who is promiscuous (and even he has never had "dozens" of partners a year!). Frankly, it is a myth meant to demonize us.User Detail :
Name : Scudder, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 29, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,
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