[David]

I don't have a particularly glamorous job, but it's low-stress, I enjoy it and it pays my bills every month. I've joined a singles web site, and some of the women who have caught my eye on the site are 'professional' women who work office jobs. I've sent messages to three so far: one responded to me asking what I do for a living. I told her and she hasn't talked to me since. The other two ignored me, despite the fact that their ads made it sound like I could be a match for them personality-wise. Are so-called 'independent women' willing to give guys with lower incomes a fair chance, or do they prefer guys who make as much or more than they do?

User Detail :  

Name : David, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 26, City : Slidell, State : LA Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower class, 

[Alicia31391]

Before I married, I dated several people with significantly less income than mine and had many problems as a result of it. We weren't able to do many of the things I wanted to do or go places I wanted to go because of money. Even if I was willing to pay my own way, they often couldn't afford the nice restaurants or occasional weekend getaway. When I offered to pick up the tab, egos were bruised. On the flipside, there were those who were more than happy to tag along - always at my expense - which gets old pretty quick. In one of the more serious relationships - someone I lived with - it soon became clear that there wasn't an equality of responsibility or motivation. I was responsible for our lifestyle and held down a very stressful job to support it while he had a no-stress, low-salaried job but reaped and enjoyed all the benefits of my hard work. Now I am married to a man whose salary may not match mine dollar for dollar but who supports and contributes to our lifestyle in a fair way. We may never be 'rich,' but I feel like I have a partner, which makes all the difference in the world to me.

User Detail :  

Name : Alicia31391, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 32, City : Pensacola, State : FL Country : United States, Occupation : Attorney, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 

[Lyddie]

The harsh reality is that most women want a man of means as much as most men want a woman who is physically attractive. There are exceptions to these 'rules' but they are just that -- exceptions.

User Detail :  

Name : Lyddie, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Leslie22878]

I am a professional woman with a PhD. I married a guy who was a 'poor guy' and boy, and was that a mess. I have dated men from lower-income brackets, and I find that, when it comes down to it, they are attracted to me because I am a doctor and have money, not because I am a cool chick to hang with. I routinely do not date men from lower-income brackets for this reason. Additionally, as a well-educated woman, I prefer that the men I date are well-educated as well. This often means they are in similarly high-level professions. Not that I or any of my 'independent woman' friends would never consider dating a 'poor guy,' just that it would definitely not be my first choice in men.

User Detail :  

Name : Leslie22878, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 26, City : Tampa, State : FL Country : United States, Occupation : Health Care Professional, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, 

[Brian22986]

It has been my experience that men want good looking women and women want successful men. Call it a stereotype, but those same women who see nothing wrong with looking down on your income (and contrary to the b.s. in the above submissions, yes, they're looking straight down at your poor butt) are probably the first to think it's awful that guys want 'hot' chicks. Women think they're too good to go with guys 'beneath' them, and guys don't want to be caught dead with ugly women.

User Detail :  

Name : Brian22986, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 25, City : Peru, State : IN Country : United States, Occupation : management, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Mariah C.]

I have dated rich guys, and I have dated guys who have made less money than me. Truthfully, guys who have made less money than me have traditionally treated me better than guys who have made significantly more than me. However, I (and I speak for all my friends and probably a vast number of women) still want to be with somebody who can 'take care' of me. Some women still want to be treated like 'ladies' and be courted by the guy - and this is when old-fashioned values come into play (guys paying for dates, etc). Plus, when a guy has the financial means to take a girl to decent places, the relationship stays exciting. It is very hard to have a great deal of respect for a guy who does not have professional goals and does not aspire to be a success. I have standards and goals for myself, and I want to be with people who have similar goals. My cardinal rule of dating is 'my guy needs to make at least equal to what I make.'

User Detail :  

Name : Mariah C., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 25, City : Southfield, State : MI Country : United States, Occupation : Sales Rep, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Makia]

I have heard of such matches working, but not for me. I, too, have found that men who earn a lot less than I sometimes can't afford to pay their way to some events, especially if they have a lot of bills or are paying child support out of incomes under $25,000. (Once I went out with a guy who earned about $11,000 per year.) If I pay their way, it throws the balance of power off (one of us may feel like I am the 'man' or the leader), and I know that they really can't afford to treat me, which would be nice sometimes. Others are jealous of my income and master's degree, especially if they have only a high school diploma. At times, it makes me or them uncomfortable, and I feel I should maybe downplay my accomplishments, which of course is wrong. It creates extra tension in the interactions.

User Detail :  

Name : Makia, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Age : 36, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Natalia-M20258]

I met my man when he was a cafeteria worker at my university. My mom worries about us, but so far, so good. Problems may arise from lack of money, but I doubt it will matter which of us it is that has the lower income. It helps that we are both very easygoing and non-extravagant.

User Detail :  

Name : Natalia-M20258, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : this n' that, Age : 23, City : White Plains, State : NY Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, 

[Poro Poro]

Sadly, I have to agree too that the odds are against it. Been there, done that. Unfair to the guys who make less than I do but there are too many delicate issues involved. I agree with pretty much all the comments above except for the jealousy part from Cassandra. I believe if a person truly loves you, he should not be jealous of how well-off you are.

User Detail :  

Name : Poro Poro, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Asian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 26, City : Toronto, State : NA Country : Canada, Occupation : Computer Programmer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[J. F.]

Historically women have sought to improve themselves socially (=economically) by 'marrying up'. Men improved themselves by their own efforts, and had no adversion to 'marrying down' for what they thought was love. Notwithstanding gender equality, most independent women will not share income or assets 'for love' as men are still expected to. Most women don't accept that equal rights might mean equal responsibilities.

User Detail :  

Name : J. F., Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 60, City : Dayton, State : OH Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Julie]

These 'professional women' you mentioned probably have a very different view on life, even though their ads might hint at common ground. Their goals in life might be more materialistic, while it seems like having a job you enjoy is more important to you. I consider myself an independent woman and I would not want to date someone who had a significantly larger income because there wouldn't be enough common ground.

User Detail :  

Name : Julie, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 22, City : Nashville, State : TN Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 

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