Why do African-Americans come ‘unglued’ when they are informed of the death of a close kin? Are they acting for the benefit of those around them? Or is it a learned behavior? Blacks who belong to Catholic churches and Episcoplian churches do not seem to exhibit this behavior. Is it a fundamentist exhibition? Are they doing it for the benefit of those around them? Are they ‘acting’.
Perhaps it’s the emotions of extreme grief, sadness and shock that makes some blacks wail at the news of the passing of a friend or loved one. Not all blacks do this, just as not all whites are solemn when they receive the same kind of news.
Culture instills how emotions are expressed, and in black American culture, emotions are encouraged. So it is partially true that – generally – black people are usually more emotional at the death of a loved one than white people. But to say their expression of grief is in anyway less geniune than other forms is dead-wrong. When anyone is greatly upset, usually the last thing on his or her mind is what other people think. Black people, from my experience, tend to be less inhibited about what other people think (especially judgmental white people) and may therefore be more inclined to express their grief more freely.
In my opinion, I believe it is because of the way African-Americans live. If they live in a poor neighborhood, it is bad enough that they lose someone in the family or someone real close to them because of hardship (someone whom they can depend on). We have come a long way dealing with life’s perspectives.
I cried so loud at my father’s funeral that the funeral home directors took me away because I was ‘disturbing’ the other families. I don’t know about anybody else, but when my dad died, the pain in my heart was so great that I couldn’t stop crying and screaming. Individual reactions to grief vary.
I’m an African student who has been living in the United States for about five years. During this time, I have observed African-American culture, and you’d be surprised at how often you come across certain behaviors that are common in both of our cultures. Like coming ‘unglued’ when there’s death. I’m sure most Africa Americans wouldn’t know where/how it all started, but I’m willing to bet it’s a cultural relic from Africa. Any other ideas out there?
You have answered your own question. If black Catholics and Episcopalians do not exhibit ‘this behavior,’ then it is not a black thing, it’s a church thing. I grew up as a Catholic, and the first time I went to a Baptist Church I freaked out, even though I’m black. Check out some of your white Southern Baptist people – they are kinda nutty, too. Of course my aunt always said that the person making the most noise at a funeral is the one who hurt the dead person the most.
Why would feel, that someone would have to ‘act’ to show their grief over the death of a loved one? Point blank, PEOPLE show their emotions differently, especially when it comes to the death of loved one. You may think that it is excessive, but that may just be how they grieve. Who are you to judge what is too much and what is not?
It might be a shocker, but death can be an extremely painful and shocking experience. And I am a Black Catholic.
i have to say i laughed when i read your article… 🙂