[Nicole Taylor]

Why is it that when interracial couples (black men/white women) are out and about and see a very attractive black woman, they stare at her (as if they want to be acknowledged or seen) or dramatically grab, hug, or kiss each other? If you're dating for true love, why put on the act? I've noticed this a lot lately, as my friends and I are very attractive black women. I don't think white women really understand something: We don't want the man you're with. We are attracted to black men who are attracted to black women - get it?

User Detail :  

Name : Nicole Taylor, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 31, City : Washington, State : DC Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Tha-Real-Deal24727]

I don't know who you've been seeing, but it seems as if the 'act' you are referring to is all in your head. After being around for a while, it's obvious that some people will just see what they want to see. Unfortunately, you must fall into that category. Just because an interracial couple (obviously a sore subject with you) decides to kiss, hold hands, hug, or whatever, you think it is a vendetta against you. You say that you don't think white women understand something. Let me drop some knowledge on you this time: Public displays of affections are done by plenty of couples, not just interracial couples walking down the street opposite you. It's not about you wanting their men at all, because the men are already theirs anyway regardless of whoever else may want the men. The PDA's are about couples being able to express their love to each other, and if it is bothersome to people just because one particular type of couple does it, then that says a lot about the person making such a big deal out of nothing. - understood?

User Detail :  

Name : Tha-Real-Deal24727, Gender : M, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, City : P-town, State : IL Country : United States, 

[Tiffany]

I noticed this too, when I went shopping with two friends this weekend in the mall. The couple (black man/white woman) became especially lovey-dovey when we entered the store and began browsing in the shoe area near them. This may not be typical of most interracial couples, but reading Nikki's question triggered that memory in me. I guess my annoyance in dealing with white women who date black men is the fact that they try too hard. I have two cousins who are married to white women, and it seems that the women try to overcompensate for the fact that they aren't black, in particular when we are in a family group setting. One used so much slang that her own mother-in-law (my aunt) had to point out that we (meaning black folks) don't talk like that all the time, and the majority of the people in the room were college-educated. She was, of course, embarrassed. She would be more accepted if she would be herself.

User Detail :  

Name : Tiffany, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Baptist, Age : 28, City : Houston, State : TX Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Mickey M.]

My guess is that they are attempting to throw it in the face of their 'detractors,' whom they see as 'all' black women (or white men - it happens to us, too) even though 90 percent of either population couldn't care less.

I participated in similar racial taunting as a teenager. I lived in a racially mixed housing project where the lines of race were fractured. If a female of one race went out with a male of another, the males of the female's particular race would write if off to 'money' (though we white guys didn't have any more money than the blacks in the projects) or the 'taboo' factor (though 'Townie White Trash' is looked upon as badly or worse than black folk among many in society.)

To combat such blatant racial stereotyping, I'd throw it in the faces of the blacks or Puerto Ricans, to show that my girlfriend was with me for me, not because of my supposed income. It was a slap to the white guys, too. It's expected among some white guys that going with a colored girl is fine, as long as it stays behind doors. It was immature, to say the least, but I've grown out of it. Racial ball-breaking is as old as the hills and won't go away soon, until interracial relationships become 'normal' by American standards.

User Detail :  

Name : Mickey M., Gender : M, Religion : Catholic, Age : 18, City : Brighton Beach, Brooklyn, State : NY Country : United States, Occupation : Longshoreman, Education level : Less than High School Diploma, Social class : Upper middle class, 

[Darcy K.]

I can only speak from my own experience, but when I was dating my husband (I am a widow, my Lonnie died in September 1999), we would occasionally pull something like that if we ran into the rare person who liked to stare hatefully. (They were just as likely to be black as white, by the way.)

Why? Because it would cause them as much discomfort as they were causing us, and because it would force them to look away and mind their own business. We didn't have to do it often, and usually it turned out pretty funny.

User Detail :  

Name : Darcy K., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Methodist, Age : 42, City : Pittsboro, State : NC Country : United States, Occupation : self-employed, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Lower middle class, 

[Melissa20769]

In resoponse to your questioning of ethinic dating, I feel that white women are not trying to make a seen or start a war. They are insecure about their choice in dating. As I am a white female, I see the tension with black females when it comes to dating. There are many bi-racial couples in my city and the surronding cities. I do not feel that it is that big of a matter anymore. Maybe a fews year ago, the matter was more delicate. But in the growing years, more and more people are learning to accept different racial dating. White women are just affraid of the comments or even looks if being see by a black women. Black women seem to be more straight foward and to the point. They are not affraid to speak their minds. Maybe it is a sense of insururity. I am not dating bi-racial, but I do not make it a point to acknowledge a couple that I see. Everyone has a choice in who they want to date. If a person truely feels the match is right, why even question the race? If both people are content and happy, go on living your lives together. Never mind what other people think, it only matters that you are happy!

User Detail :  

Name : Melissa20769, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 21, City : Burton, State : MI Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, 

[lisa22744]

My ex-husband was black (I am white) and I never made an effort to display affection in front of black women (though we were very affectionate in general). Isn't it possible that the couples you see are already engaged in affection before they encounter you? Do you maybe feel that white women need your approval and hence are reading into their actions intentions that do not exist?

User Detail :  

Name : lisa22744, City : Raleigh, State : NC Country : United States, 

[Beth]

I've been married to my husband for almost 11 years, and I don't ever remember making out with him to make a point. I have too busy a life to worry about making someone else uncomfortable or worrying about who is married to whom and what race they belong to. I have never worried about what people around me thought of my personal life and the choices I've made. That's why it's called a personal life.

User Detail :  

Name : Beth, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 34, City : Jacksonville, State : FL Country : United States, Occupation : Freelance writer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Angela24952]

This is true. It happened to me the other day. I believe most and I mean most white women are insecure when they see black attractive women around their black boyfriends or husbands. Not to mention I think black white relationship if people are honest begin with sexual attraction and curiosity. I find it hard to believe when they say it had nothing to do with race. Everything in this country has to do with race.

User Detail :  

Name : Angela24952, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 27, City : Atlanta, State : GA Country : United States, 

[Pookie]

I dated an African-American man for several months, and we never acted in the way that you described. We were together because we cared about each other very much, and never felt the need to put on an act for anyone. We felt very comfortable around each other and were comfortable being together around others, no matter what their race was. Maybe some couples feel like they have to put on an act because they don't feel secure in their relationship, or feel like they have something to prove.

User Detail :  

Name : Pookie, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 28, City : Bristol, State : IN Country : United States, Occupation : court reporter, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Lori]

Maybe you're too sensitive that a black man is dating a white woman? I'm sure it happens, but why pay attention to them? ANY couple who truly cares about each other and are secure in their relationship are not going to act this way. So why let some insecure people bother you. Live and let live and try to keep your mind more open -true love is color blind.

User Detail :  

Name : Lori, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 41, City : Rochester, State : NY Country : United States, Occupation : teacher, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Mara22330]

I think that you are probebly the one doing all of the noticing.

User Detail :  

Name : Mara22330, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 23, City : Austin, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : grad. student, Social class : Upper middle class, 

[RhondaOutlaw]

I too have seen this silly posturing. It is a deliberate attempt to try and make Black women feel bad...but what the 'Brother' is actually doing is making himself look silly, petty and petulant, which further confirms that he is with the White woman more for show and spite, than because he loves her and wants to be with her. What Black men who do this don't realize is that they actually do Black women a favor, because it weeds out the 'undesirable' Black men for us, thus, there are less 'undesirable' Black men for us to have to contend with. So on behalf of myself and my Black sister, I say, Thank you.

User Detail :  

Name : RhondaOutlaw, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Lutheran, Age : 41, City : New York, State : NY Country : United States, Occupation : Account Representative, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[elgin jones]

if the man was unattractive. he is sending a message to all black women, especially the so called attractive ones like yourself. the black women who have constantly rejected and demean him his whole life. now he got a white a women who can appreciate and truly love him for who he is. THANK GOD THAT THE WHITE WOMEN ARE SHOWING INTEREST IN THE BLACK MAN THAT THE BLACK WOMEN HAS PERPETUALLY REJECTED AND ENJOYED DOING IT.

User Detail :  

Name : elgin jones, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 53, City : philly, State : PA Country : United States, Occupation : ACCOUNTING, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

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