[Bo R.]

It seems to me that many adults want their teens to act more independent and adult-like - yet place many restrictions on them that hinder that independence and maturity. Does anyone else feel the same way I do, and if so, why do these 'mixed signals' seem so apparent and frequent?

User Detail :  

Name : Bo R., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, City : Brewerton, State : NY Country : United States, 

[RobinW]

We are exactly like you, but older. Just like you, we are sometimes confused, or want two different things at once. We want you to grow up to be the best people you can possibly be. We also want to keep you completely safe. The trouble is, we can't have it both ways. In order to be independent, you have to take risks. But if you take risks, you might get hurt. That's why we send you mixed messages. It's hard for both kids and parents; especially parents who remember being kids. Some things hurt us a lot when we were kids, some things we are afraid of, and some things we know can ruin your life; we've seen it happen to our friends. Talk with your parents; I'll bet that most of the restrictive rules come from one of those three things. Talking can help all of you understand each other.

User Detail :  

Name : RobinW, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 46, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, 

[SR28464]

I felt exactly the way you do when I was a teenager living with my parents. I didn't get grounded for the first time until 15, and the free reign I'd done well with before was gone. My parents would tell me to 'grow up,' and in the next breath they'd tell me to go to my room. I think they were frightened of my growing up and putting myself in situations they considered risky. At the same time, they were tired of me crying and yelling in protest of their new rules. I still don't think the things my parents did were right, but my life might have been easier had I made an effort to try to get along with them during that time (easy for me to say - I don't live with them anymore).

User Detail :  

Name : SR28464, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 22, City : Austin, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : student, 

[Garret-B]

Most parents want their kids to be independent and adult-like. I think a lot of parents would love for their kids to be more independent, and the reward would be more freedom (less restrictions). The problem occurs when teens want only the freedom part and want nothing to do with the independent part. In my experience, most teens are like this. That is why most parents place restrictions on their children. In order for the parents to let go of those restrictions, the kid must prove to them that they can be independent.

User Detail :  

Name : Garret-B, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 18, City : Porterville, State : CA Country : United States, 

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