[Beth]

I have a straight-acting male friend who I strongly suspect is gay, but he flirts with me. I am attracted to him, and he obviously knows it. When his gay friend is around, he is very careful not to flirt. Should I just ask him if he is gay?

User Detail :  

Name : Beth, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Age : 40, City : Fort Worth, State : TX, Country : United States, Social class : Upper middle class, 

[Michael20716]

Because you are attracted to him, you may – as is often the case, regardless of sexual orientation – be reading more into his ‘flirtation’ than is actually there. When gay men (even so-called straight-acting ones) interact with straight women, it’s easy to get mixed signals. One side tries to be friendly, and the other side reads courtship ritual. It can get even more confusing for same-sex friendships when one guy is straight and the other gay. Often what we find attractive in friends is also what we’re looking for in a mate. As to your problem, ask the gay friend what the 411 is – you may find out that they’re more than friends, which is why he’s not as ‘flirtatious.’

User Detail :  

Name : Michael20716, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Methodist, Age : 39, City : Houston, State : TX, Country : United States, Occupation : E-business manager, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 

[Steve27622]

Ask him, but only if you have no problem with him being gay. If so, you need to make this clear before asking him, or he may say ‘no’ just to be safe. Perhaps you can ease into a relaxed conversation about homosexuality and give examples to him about how open-minded you are. He may volunteer that he is gay before you get to asking him.

User Detail :  

Name : Steve27622, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Spiritual, Age : 38, City : Atlanta, State : GA, Country : United States, Occupation : Activist, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 

[Beth23194]

Well, the verdict is in. I finally got up the nerve to ask (it took a couple of six packs between us for me to muster up the courage). He saw the question coming and I thought he was going to bolt out of the house. After he got over the shock of me being so blatant, we had a LONG discussion and I was shocked to find out that in almost 10 years I am the first ‘outsider’ he has spoken to about it. Actually, I’m the only one who has had the guts to just ask the question. In a way he was a little relieved that I asked, but it was really hard for him to actually say it out loud. I suspect we will probably be lifelong friends.

User Detail :  

Name : Beth23194, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, City : Fort Worth, State : TX, Country : United States, 

[charles c]

if he is gay and flirtswith women then he is stillgay but like women a little or he just be undecided

User Detail :  

Name : charles c, Gender : M, Age : 18, City : middletown, State : CT, Country : United States, Social class : Upper class, 

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